Why does this bother me? Details inside?

What a great experience. And what a great question. Unfortunately, it seems that only you are in a position to answer this question. But what a great opportunity. I love when I am faced with such a puzzle. It usually leads (eventually) to me learning a great deal about myself.

It’s not about the money. It’s about the expectation you had of her.

I think you’re trying to find that balance between the rational voice in your head and the ever-hopeful one.

Disappointments every now and then are okay. Don’t give up on the hopeful one!

this a very interesting question. maybe you just really want to believe someone that promises something? oops I forgot you answer a question with an answer. (giggle)

Well, I’m impressed that she brought the change back.

Maybe you are just curious to see if she actually returns the money. For me, if she returns the money it would indicate she is doing ok. It’s not so much about her keeping her word, but that I worry for her.

It’s really a very nice story that you gave her the money and that she brought you the change. That gesture you made is the beginning of a pay it forward story.

I hope she is ok.

The fact that she returned with the change is so reassuring, that I wouldn’t worry about the money having not yet been paid back. There are just entirely too many legitimate and reasonable reasons why the woman may be unable to return the money.

I did (do) not expect to ever see the cash again, that was fine and if she had said thanks and walked away without indicating she would repay the money that would have been the end of it but now I find myself checking the box each day hoping to find $10.00 and each day I am disappointed.
Why?
You are bothered because your expectations have been unmet. Because she said she would pay back the initial $10 dollars you expect her to be truthful to her word in a manner you deemed timely, and when she did not come through, it was disappointing as if she was not truthful to you. It is not the money, as you said, you never really expected to see that again, it is more like a broken covenant between you and her on what she said she would do, and what it appears she is actually doing.

I understand this feeling you have. I can think of occasions when I have desperately wanted to believe that someone would keep a promise or “do the right thing” even when it would be so easy not to bother.

Follow Up:

I have pondered this over the last couple of weeks and meditated on the question of why it concerned me each morning. I have come to understand that what bothered me was not, as I originally said, the money but the fact that she said she would pay me back and did not. But it went deeper than that.

I came to realize that what was bothered me was that I saw in myself in her actions. I too am full of good intentions, I plan out all these things that I want to do or say and then something happens and I just don’t get around to it. And when I don’t do what I said I would do I feel guilty.

When this insight hit me I was less than astounded. It was so obvious that I could not believe it took me several days to realize it but then again, perhaps we are adept at hiding our feelings even from, or especially from, ourselves.

I still check the mailbox daily so I have not yet given up on humanity.

Pretty cool @rojo!

@rojo: “perhaps we are adept at hiding our feelings even from, or especially from, ourselves.”

You’re not kidding.

Great insight. Let us know if she ever returns.

@rojo Brilliant.