My roommate is annoying the living crap out of me, Am I being stupid about this?

Welcome to Fluther.
I am very much like you in the temperature setting and shower etc. That is why I only lived with a roommate situation one time. It drove me crazy. My only suggestion is to find a cheaper place to live where you don’t rely on a roommate to help with expenses.

Thank goodness I’m not the only one ! She is only staying until the end of December after I give birth… Then my ex husbands child support will start and I won’t need a roommate anymore ):

You have a shit room mate. I do too, but it’s my son. Anybody else and it would be so,so over.

lol I wouldn’t mind if it were my child either but I literally don’t even know her (horrible to say) but yeah, it’s temporary but she makes me sick.

I’d ask you how old she is, but that would give away your age too. You aren’t being unreasonable. She is. She’s also possibly completely blind to how unreasonable her behaviour is. Very annoying.

All you can do is decide whether you can live with it and bite your tongue off for a few months, or whether you need to speak to her and set out some house rules. If she wants to burn up the power, she’ll have to pay a bit more. Some of the other things are just common courtesy.

She’s 23, I’m 29.. and I am pregnant which probably doesn’t help with my patience but I just feel it’s common sense, I don’t have you living here because I want you here, I have you here because I need help with the bills and she was told that when I interviewed her (that I need a roommate for help, not for a friend) I will likely continue to bite my tongue, i’m not a confrontational person, I’m just annoyed is all but if my water and electric are significantly higher I will have to say something

Well, this is why you should thoroughly pick a roommate. Sure you don’t want to live with a sex offender or a thief, but you also don’t want to live with someone who lifestyle is incompatible with yours. If you interviewed me, and said I’m not looking for a friend, I would interpret that as you aren’t interested in being buddy-buddy, it would say nothing to me about utilities.

Look, you can talk to her, but you’ve got to choose your battles if you want any good to come out of it. So maybe take one thing, that is something she could modify without too it being personal.

You are just incompatible as roommates. It happens. I remember once listening to one of my closest friends complaining about how her crazy roommate wanted to live with minimal heating in the winter, and how she didn’t want to have to wear sweaters, and I realized – I love and respect this person, but we would make terrible roommates! I would have been taking her crazy roommate’s side.

If you ever find yourself in a position to have to find a roommate again, this experience will give you a few more items for the list of questions to ask them. It’s best to make sure that the two of you can live peaceably before anyone moves in.

I know, hindsight is always 20–20.

Thank you ! Yes, I will definitely know for next though hopefully this is my first and last time needing one, thank you everyone.

Talk with her about these things. You don’t have to be confrontational about it. Differences in housekeeping have happened with every roommate I’ve had. After several experiences like you describe, where the frustration just builds and builds, I have learned that it’s worth it to just hash this stuff out in a calm, friendly way.

Yea that’s true. I will try, thank you (:

Yep, you two are just incompatible, and shiot of leaving water on the floor there is nothing wrong with taking a 15 minutes shower or wanting to feel comfortable in a 77 degree house.
I take 15 minute showers and like to set the AC at gasp 75–78 when it is really hot out!
As always it’s a two way street and your anal OCD ways would drive ME crazy! haha
What do you wanna bet YOU are driving her nuts too?

Touche! ;-)
If this womans habits really make you “sick” I think you need some help. lol

You listed all your complaints and then asked should you talk to her. I think the answer is yes, regardless of what your difficulties with her are, if she is oblivious perhaps it will help her see what is bothering you. The worst that could happen is that she ignores you and you are still in the same situation. So go for it.

I know she is not a he but I read once that guys don’t notice dirt until there is enough of it to plant crops in and I know that there are things in our house, like towels left on the counter and not hung up or glasses set beside the sofa that I never notice but that my wife has a fit over. It is not that I don’t care, only that they do not register in my consciousness

She refers to this as male pattern blindness.

Perhaps your roommate suffers from the same type thing.

When I leave the house I leave the air on 79 because I don’t want it running all day, when I get home she has it on 77 which is crazy to me because the house is small and 77 will literally run for hours

See, this is where your roommate went wrong. If it were me, one of my first questions would be about the thermostat settings in the apartment/house. If you told me 79, I’d shake your hand, tell you it was nice meeting you, and get the hell out of there. I’ve got to say, I think getting mad about 2 tiny degrees is a bit of an overreaction. Come on, it’s 2 degrees. And 77 is still too damn hot.

she washes clothes like 3 times a week, she’s one person

Okay, I’ll give you that one. No reason for that unless she just doesn’t have a lot of clothes because she can’t afford them, and then I’d give her a break because that’s pretty sad.

she leaves lights on

I’ll give you that one, too.

she takes 15 minute long showers

…how long should a shower be? My husband, a male, takes 30 minute showers daily. I’d call a 15 minutes shower a “quickie.” If she has to shave, the timing sounds about right.

and then leaves my tub disgusting! Full of hair and residue from whatever products she uses… she gets water all over the floor and doesn’t clean it up

That’s definitely a problem.

I don’t know if I’m just being anal and OCD or if I have a right to feel the way I do? Should I say something to her?

You have a right to feel any way you feel, no matter what any of us think about it. Even though I think the shower and thermostat thing is a little ridiculous, there are things that drive me nuts that others would think was no big deal. And duh, of course you should talk to her. She’s your roommate – communication is a must.

You may be incompatible, or you both may just have to compromise. I’m wondering if you’ve ever lived with a guy before, because this is nothing compared to what I deal with living with my husband. Maybe if you got sex out of the deal, it wouldn’t be so hard to deal with someone else’s quirks.

I haven’t yet read the previous answers.

Ask her if, when she finishes her shower, she can take an old towel or rag and wipe the floor down, and leave the towel somewhere to dry. Ask her if, when she gets out of the tub, she can give it a quick visual inspection and remove any hairs she may have left.

Tell her that the power bill is going to go way up with her keeping the temperature down on the AC. Tell her that unless she wants to share some of the additional power costs, she should raise the temperature.

As far as 3 loads of laundry per week, I might do the same so to me, that’s not excessive.

Edit: I just read some of the previous responses. I see this situation is supposedly only temporary. If it is, the suggestions I made, I feel, will help, but it won’t pay to get too upset about everything as you’re probably busy preparing for baby and animosity at this time won’t be helpful.

Here’s how I limit my water use to a 5-minute shower: Turn on water for 1 minute to get everything wet; turn off water. Lather up body, lather up hair. Turn on water for 2 minutes to rinse hair and bod; turn off water. Apply hair conditioner; turn on water for 2 minutes to rinse hair, and rinse all soap suds, etc, down the drain. Turn off water. Dry with towel “A”. Dry and wrap hair with towel “B”. Use towel “A” to wipe soap scum, etc. from tub.

@Yetanotheruser Sooo, a romantic shower with you would be timed with soap running into your beloveds eyes and sorting out the proper towels, A, B, C,and D? LOL
I use one towel, first squeeze out my long hair, then do some flipping action in the shower before I exit. Then, dry body and put towel on head.
Towel “A” is multi-purpose and towel “B” remains on the rack, clean, until towel “A” has been used a couple of times. haha

I’ll take my chances, maybe THEY aren’t paying attention

Anyone else see that movie Night of the Living Shit? It was scary when it came out.

@Coloma, The shower I described is strictly utilitarian. A romantic shower would use considerably more running water, and not be stingy with the towels. I’d go into more details, but hate to ruin anyone’s fantasy!