Why do I still feel so emotional?

Because, for one thing, you got to see the absolute worst of it every day. It was horrible. All war is horrible. And when it hits that not only is this war as horrible as the rest, it wasn’t even needed. You saw kids disfigured for life, killed, unimaginable injuries….for what?

All that horror, combined with the negative back lash of your own American people, the sheer, overwhelming emotion surrounding that war…it would be weird if you didn’t get emotional.

I get emotional just thinking about it and I was 11 when Nixon officially announced the end.

And…thank you for your service.

I lost several childhood friends that were older brothers to my best friends. I still get emotional too. It was a war that should never have happened, but then, most wars shouldn’t happen.
Your emotional reaction makes you human, a loving and caring human, which is much better that a bitter and jaded human.

Congratulations, you survived with your humanity intact. :-)
All war is ugly.

At last you have begun to grieve. It takes a long time, and goes through many stages. I’m thankful for your service, even if those who directed you were wrong.

I would say it would be impossible for it not to affect you emotionally. You may not have seen combat, but you saw its effects. I would imagine you suffered and perhaps are still suffering from PTSD. However, I think feeling and being able to express your emotions is important. I hope you have someone to give you a hug and to listen when you need to talk.

I imagine it is somewhat of a “but for the grace of god, it might have been me” feeling.

I admire you for having the depth of heart to experience this emotion 40 years later.

Because you are one of the fortunate ones.

Not everyone has emotion at their disposal.

Emotion, positive or negative:

Cherish it

I was in my usual vacation place on the fourth of July a few years ago. There was an older couple in the bar, and the parade started. He teared up in a hurry. He was a Vietnam vet. He lost buddies in his arms. We talked a long time. It’s okay to show emotion over something like that.

I bet many people of my kind feel the same thing as you too. That war was horrible and did damage to both sides. Nothing is like wars. Having to see so many death and loss there or here :p is quite traumatic to a normal person. The trauma may subside a bit, but not completely disappears, that’s why you still feel like that.

@Mimishu1995 You are not people of “my kind”. You are people of our kind. Yeah, it’s was horrible for both sides.

You saw everyone at their worst. You couldn’t be emotional during their time of need because you needed to be strong and supportive to help them. Now you are being reminded of all of the people you helped who were hurting and reminded of all of the people who couldn’t be helped.

This is your time to mourn and feel all of the emotions you had to hide for so long.

Why should you not feel emotional? I feel emotional for things that I never even experienced, often for things that happened before I was even born, and in places where I’ve never been.

It’s only right to feel strongly about losses that happened so close to you, even if you didn’t experience them yourself.

You were unified with every other young man there. All of you were away from all they knew. All of you missed people. Most of you had families, or some semblance of one. You were different each in your own ways, but were one, living, breathing fellow, who was brave, was scared, was strong, was doing the best he could, and when a buddy died, he was everybody’s buddy. He might be from Texas, or Arkansas, or Washington, or Connecticut, but somebody loved him, so everybody was linked to him. Not being on the front lines didn’t cushion you from the effects.
A part of you wants to share with somebody, but you love everybody too much to expose them to what hurt you so much. You did your job. You protected us. Now, allow somebody to be there for you. Let someone share the fear, the pain, yes, even the horror.
HUGS!

Most people think that the phrase “Time heals all wounds” is automatically true.

Obviously not, as you can attest. It depends upon what a person does with that time.

If it’s basically used to repress, then one discovers that repression actively interferes with healing.

Obviously, while you were on duty, repression served a very valuable purpose because it allowed you to continue being of help to others rather than falling apart and being unable to function.

The horrors you witnessed cannot help effect someone on a very deep emotional level.

But you can’t continue to repress that emotion forever. Something has to give.

A really good Psychiatrist explained it like this: repression takes an enormous amount of energy because we are going against what we as feeling human beings are designed to do (which is to feel and to care). In times of necessity it can be done.

In our youth we have seemingly boundless energy. But, the older we get, the less energy we have (generally speaking) and this is when repression stops working so well.

So, whenever you are exposed to triggers, those emotions just come rushing back in. And that’s entirely normal. We are designed to feel deeply about significant things.

You never really allowed yourself to mourn all the loss which surrounded you. It doesn’t really matter that these people were not your closest friends. They were fellow humans (and VERY young ones at that) who were suffering huge losses. Some lost their lives, others were physically wounded and their lives altered forever. All, without exception (including you) lost the innocence of their youth in the most brutal shocking way imaginable.

War is so horrible like that. It changes everyone and there is a whole lot to mourn for.

Perhaps it might be helpful for you to find a local Veterans group and be around others who have been through the same thing as you.

Allow yourself to mourn. It’s long overdue. And doubtless, it will feel much worse for awhile. But then gradually as you process it, you’ll begin to feel a little bit better and it won’t be due just to repression. It will be genuine and you will grow from it.