Do you feel comfortable asking your close friends questions that may be perceived as "nosy?"?

Close friends? No, not at all. My BFF feels the same way too. We often ask and answer some really nosy questions and none of us ever feels uncomfortable. If the matter is a bit too personal, we just say: “I rather not discuss about it” and no more questions are asked.

No, I don’t feel comfortable being nosy with anyone. They tell me what they are comfortable telling me. I do the same. I never pry into sensitive areas. Respect. I expect reciprocation as to my privacy. If they push too hard into areas I feel aren’t open to the public, I quickly do a disappearing act until they regain their sense of propriety. And often I’ll never reappear at all.

It’s actually a good way to define “close friendship”. And it’s not so much asking the question, as sharing an intimate detail of yourself with a close friend, and then their sharing on the same level.

Would your step father and mother have reacted differently if the friend had said, “I came close to striking Ethyl one time, thank goodness I didn’t. Have you ever been that close?” ???

I would find it incredible for a close friend to think I was capable of hitting my spouse. Nor could I be friends with someone who I could think capable of that. What a bizarre story.

But to answer your more general question, it depends on the friend. I have certain friends with whom I feel comfortable asking specific types of intimate questions, and other friends whom I can ask other intimate questions. We all have topics that we’re more or less sensitive about, I think, just as we all like to keep certain aspects of our lives as private as possible.

@zenvelo for you.

A man and woman where on their honeymoon after a long and very happy courtship. On their honeymoon, they decide to take their horses through the beautiful mountain passes of Europe. As the horses were crossing a small stream, the woman’s horse mis-steps and jostles the man’s wife. Once across the stream, the man dismounts, walks over to the horse, and stares into its eyes. Finally, he states, “That’s one.” The man remounts his horse and they continue their ride.

A bit further down the path, the woman’s horse stumbles when stepping over a fallen tree. The man dismounts, stares the horse in the eyes, and boldly states, “That’s two!” He returns to his saddle and they move on.

As the afternoon sun began to set, the woman’s horse once again lost its footing on a mossy slope. The man dismounts, moves to the woman’s horse, and helps his wife out of the saddle the man. Moving to the front of the horse he stares it in the eyes and firmly says, “That’s three,” removes a pistol from his vest, and shots the horse dead.

The woman, quite upset at seeing the beautiful horse killed, says to her husband, “That’s terrible, why would you do such a thing!”

The man stares at his wife and firmly says, “That’s one!”

BTW I agree with @zenvelo about it being one way to define a close friendship. It is not my way but I have known people who would be comfortable asking something like this without embarrassment. I would also have been comfortable telling them no and asking “how ‘bout you?”, not doing the initial asking but once you have opened that box….

That question is presumptuous. No, I don’t feel comfortable asking nosy questions unless it’s one that needs to get asked.

I am an inquisitive person and quite frank with close friends. However, I know very few people whom I would define as a close friend. In terms of the opposite situation, I don’t care what people ask me (friend or not), but I’ll only answer if I feel like answering.

I like to let things unfold as they will and while I am not nosy and do not like others being nosy with me I am also very comfortable speaking about any topic, hot, taboo or otherwise.
I recently asked a friend I have known for about a year and half that has shared some intimacy issues in her marriage if she and her husband managed some intimacy on a recent vacation. She said they did, and we continued to discuss sexuality and sexual phases without skipping a beat. Some people are just more closed off than others.

I have another friend I have known for years that seemed uncomfortable when I asked if her 17 yr. old daughter was on birth control when she seemed to be getting serious with a boyfriend.
I am pretty much an open book and can talk about anything with ease but not everyone else can.

Only people I’m super close to and could tell to ‘shut up’ in jest basically. I don’t even ask my cousins really personal questions, we don’t have that kind of relationship.

@KNOWITALL raises a good point, if you have the kind of relationship where you could say “none of your damn business” and you would both still be friends then that is the kind of relationship where these type of questions could be raised.

What I discuss with friends is our business, if “others” find fault with it, then that’s no concern of mine.

@ucme: I think you misunderstood the question. Yes, what you discuss with your friends is your business. The question is are you comfortable asking your friends questions that may be perceived as nosy. It’s not an issue of someone else finding fault with anything.

@jca But it’s that perception that doesn’t concern me when entering into any discussion with friends.

@ucme: Ok, gotcha.

My questions to friends are never nosy. ~

@Ucme Like how about asking about a friends marriage? Or sex life? That’s pretty personal I wouldn’t ask, would you?

@kNoWiTaLL Absolutely, very comfortable discussing each others happy home life & blokes talk about sex all the time, you should know that already.

Not all my friends are close friends. I thought the very term close friend would indicate security, and intimacy, not romantic intimacy, but personal intimacy, sharing. With close friends I expect intimacy is part of the package. To share pain, joy, worries, secrets, and all the things which get right to the very core of us. I feel people use the expression close friends way too easily. There is a difference between, “Besties”, which just means one of the best friends you have now, and “Close friends”. I have a close friend I haven’t seen for years, but I would still trust her more than some of the besties I have around me today.
All this boils down to, I would not hesitate to share anything with a close friend. We know we would never hurt each other.

Not any more. Part of it stems from asking a personal question and being told that the close friend or family member didn’t want to discuss it. A few close friends have asked me some seriously personal questions that I preferred not to answer, but felt obligated to do so based upon the friendship. A third reason is that now that I’ve spent a bit of time in England, I’ve learned that asking personal questions is far less common than in the US (although @ucme‘s response may prove that this is a fallacy).

Now, when I feel compelled to ask a close friend about something personal, it is prefaced with, “I would like to ask you a question. If you are uncomfortable answering, then all you need to do is say so, and the subject will be dropped.”

I wonder why he was asking? I’d suggest him feeling he could ask such a question is indicative of the closeness of their friendship.

Would I ask similarly sensitive questions of a very close friend, I don’t know. If I had a problem I needed to talk about and a question would lead into such a topic, perhaps.

@Ucme My marriage & sex life is not something I discuss much unless joking.

I used to be inquisitive and curious, for no reason other than just being interested in what others were up to, what they thought and did. I felt I was learning about human nature and diverse tendencies. I didn’t judge, but had a strong ‘to each his own’ belief, but as I got older, I noticed people my age were less comfortable with personal questions, regardless of closeness. I’ve learned to gauge my questions carefully to time, place and person. Most of the time, now, I just keep quiet.

@knowitall I’m pleased for you, I really am. We don’t go out of our way to discuss those topics, but certainly aren’t coy if the subjects crop up.

No, I don’t hesitate to ask close friends personal questions, I figure they have the option to tell me to mind my own business. My relationship with those that I am close to, is very open and non-judgmental.