What is the strangest excuse you have ever heard from a waiter?
Asked by
LornaLove (
10037
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September 30th, 2014
Going beyond the ‘Oh, waiter there is a fly in my soup’, what are the strangest excuses, mishaps and irritations you have ever endured in a restaurant?
Last night we went for dinner at a fancy restaurant. Well, I guess for this area it is. No candle light, no dimmed lighting and the atmosphere of a library, I felt. There were candles on the walls, which I suspected they lit after a certain time, so inquired as to when they would be lighting them.
‘Oh no’ said the waiter ‘We do not light them at all, no one here is tall enough to reach them’.
Do share your strange waiter experiences!
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75 Answers
Several months ago a waitress wasn’t willing to adjust a dish, a steak entree, I wanted to make it with little or no garlic. I assumed it couldn’t be changed when she said no, which I found odd because it was an expensive restaurant and you would hope everything is cooked to order, but maybe a prepared marinade was used or something I didn’t understand that made it impossible to hold the garlic. Everything being a la carte we finally got to the veggies and I wanted to order green beans and I asked if they had gatlic, again yes (ugh, I am so sick of tons of gatlic in restaurants) and then as I looked back at the menu she asks, “are you allergic to garlic? If, you are allergic I take that very seriously, and I can ask the chef to cook them without garlic.” This place is $40 just for the entree! I looked at her in shock and said, “just it being my preference isn’t good enough? I’m not allergic, but a lot of it makes me a little queasy and I don’t like the taste.” I could have lied and just said yes, but I could not believe her. Her basic demeaner was tough shit we aren’t going to change things for you.
I do my best not to make a bunch of changes at a restaurant, but one simple request usually is met with no problem. It does still get screwed up sometimes. I once ordered a dish no garlic that wound up being served to me with tons of sliced garlic that for the first bite I mistook for mushrooms. Blech. I just slid all those pieces off to the side and ate the rest; still too garlicky even without the pieces. When the waiter visted the table to refill drinks and also picked up my plate to remove it he didn’t notice the pile of garlic leftover. I wish he had, his tip might not have gone down.
@JLeslie
This is exactly why I lie and say that I am allergic. Not a ridiculous laundry list of allergies or anything, just one thing. I enjoy chicken quesadillas but too often do they put olives in them. I can’t stand any olives (although I love olive oil). I always lie and say I’ll allergic to olives. That’s the only time they take me seriously and I get my quesadillas without them.
I can’t really eat salads or very raw veg anymore without being filled up on watery vegetables instead of protein so that’s another thing I like to say “please don’t add lettuce or any greens, I’ll allergic”. It’s sad that I have to lie to make sure that a very simple request is followed but you know, if that’s what I have to do, I’ll do it!
Oh, speaking of strange requests, I think I ordered scrambled eggs recently and asked that they be made with a little shredded cheddar.
“Sorry, we can’t do that, we have run out of cheese.”
It was a diner! I was able to order a chicken wrap with, lo and belod, cheese, and it came out with cheese.
Needless to say, her tip was 0.
@seekingwolf Are the wraps already prepared ahead of time? I doubt it. If they are, at minimum she should have acknowledged somehow that they wrap has cheese because they are premade. She was an idiot. I never leave zero tip, but it would have been reduced that’s for sure. 50/50 chance I would have mentioned to her there was cheese on my wrap and watch her fumble for the lie to explain it.
@JLeslie
Nope, they weren’t prepared ahead of time, at this particular place, they are served “open face” (not rolled up) so I know that they put the ingredients on the tortilla and then bring it out. At least I saved $$ on the bill. Hopefully that she learned that lying = bad/no tip.
@seekingwolf If you didn’t tell her why she just thinks you are a deadbeat customer. She’s stupid remember.
@JLeslie darn, you’re right. I should have said something. :P
@seekingwolf You should’ve left a note saying “Sorry! I’m all out of tipping money!”
A year ago, my friends and I were eating in a small restaurant. We were all vegan/vegetarian to various degrees, so we asked the waitress to list the ingredients of a certain dish.
All was fine, we ordered, and received the dish exactly as described…plus pieces of ham, sprinkled all over.
When questioned, the waitress’ response was, “Well, we don’t list all the spices!”
It’s become a running gag by now.
One time I was in a restaurant with two friends, and when dessert came, the waitress brought table spoons instead of tea spoons. To me, table spoons are huge and not appropriate for eating most things. I asked the waitress if I could please have a smaller spoon, a tea spoon. She said “no we don’t have any.” Really? I said to her “you serve coffee with table spoons?” She said yes. I didn’t believe that. I got up and found a manager who found me a tea spoon. Idiot.
“You said today was my day off sir, i’m sure of it”
@jca to me, a teaspoon is a spoon with a long handle.
At a meal out with colleagues the waiter came round the table serving up potatoes. “How many would you like” he asked. “Three” I replied which threw him into confusion. “I’m sorry” he said “I can only give you two. I’ll come back and give you a third if there are any left”.
I’m just saying that that isn’t what comes to my mind when I hear “tea spoon,” so that’s what she may have been thinking too.
To me, tea spoon and table spoon are for measuring, when you bake something. I’ve never heard the flatware specified as such. A spoon is a spoon. If it’s a bigger spoon I consider it a serving spoon.
@Dutchess_III: A tea spoon is a smaller spoon. That’s what it’s called. I always specify, when I ask for a tea spoon, I describe it as a smaller spoon. The large spoon is a table spoon. The small spoon is a tea spoon. A round spoon is a soup spoon. A serving spoon is a longer handled larger spoon (usually flatware sets come with about 5 serving spoon and fork combinations). When I described to her “smaller spoon” and said “you serve coffee with table spoons?” she must have known what I meant, because I can’t imagine them bringing coffee in a cup with a table spoon. That would be incomprehensible. My guess is she was just lazy and thought I would take her answer as final.
I know that now. I have never heard anyone call any kind of table spoon a “tea spoon” before, except for those long handled ones that comes with iced tea. Just haven’t. But now I have.
The only designation of spoons you eat with that I’ve heard are soup spoons, serving spoons, and tea spoons. The others are just spoons. Table spoons. “Spoon” is starting to sound like a nonsense word now!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, by any means, but I kind of understand her confusion.
@Dutchess_III: Right. But that’s why I always not only call it “tea spoon” but then say “the smaller spoon” so it’s clear. And no way do they serve a table spoon with tea.
No, they serve a long handled tea spoon with tea.
NO I mean tea in a cup. Hot tea.
Oh. I’ve never ordered hot tea in a restaurant.
Is it served in a tea cup? Or a table cup? ;)
Is it me, or is the word “spoon” starting to sound weird?
Very weird! Like, nonsense!
@jca When I used to work at Subway, the manager lied to me about not having the salad chopper bowl. We would just cut them manually. One day, a person ordered a salad and after I told them that we didn’t have the chpper, she asked why we would even advertise chopped salads if we didn’t have the chopper and I agreed it was odd. Then the manager came out, heard some of the conversation and pulled out the chopper. The lady looked at me and said “Oh so you’ve had it after all!” I was able to go over what happened but I was still annoyed (at both the manager and the customer) about the situation. So you never know what the situation could be.
That’s really weird, @dxs.
I forgot to mention that the reason the managers didn’t want to use the choppers is that you had to clean them each time you made a salad.
Well how hard is that?! Geez. It’s just lettuce.
@jca @Dutchess_III Why are you both splitting “teaspoon” and “tablespoon” into two words each? It looks very odd!
@Dutchess_III Have you never had to follow a recipe in your life? You can’t substitute a “tsp” for a “tbsp.” or vice versa.
This is the strangest excuse I ever heard from a busboy. I can’t remember anything a waiter has ever said to me that rivals it.
A few days ago a friend and I were at a restaurant that we waited over a half an hour to see our waitress and have the drink order taken. We were chatting for awhile so thankfully time didn’t drag too badly. Even after placing our drink order, another 15 minutes went by with no drinks still. Finally the waitress comes over looking frazzled and states “I’m sorry, earlier today I had 8 tables to myself and I was just so busy!” And she hurried off again. I thought it was a strange excuse. She had 8 tables earlier? But currently the restaurant wasn’t busy at all. So why in the world did her being busy earlier in the day effect our service later on?
@longgone Have you seen the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding? There is a scene where she brings her fiancé to a big Greek family party and they ask him what he wants to eat and he tells them he doesn’t eat meat and the Aunt (I think it is the aunt) says something along the lines of, “no problem we have lamb.”
@jca @Dutchess_III I have the same question as @dappled_leaves. Why are you writing tea spoon instead of teaspoon?
The way I use the words is a teaspoon in a flatware or silverware set is usually not the same measure as a measuring teaspoon. They have the same name, but they are not the same.
A tablespoon is for measuring, three teaspoons are in a tablespoon.
A larger spoon in a flatware set is usually called a soup spoon, but you can call it the large spoon. I’m pretty sure if you read an etiquette book there is a specific name for each type of fork, knife, and spoon, and I doubt it is simply small and large.
@JLeslie I have, but I had forgotten. The weird ideas people have about what is meat and what is not.
@JLeslie and @dappled_leaves: I was separating the words for @Dutchess_III to be able to read clearly the difference.
@JLeslie: Soup spoon is the round spoon. Most flatware sets don’t consist of soup spoons, they consist of teaspoons, tablespoons, salad (or dessert) fork and regular fork, plus knives. “Small and large” are definitely not the correct terms for the types of spoons
A teaspoon and a tablespoon are measurement spoons. A tea spoon is a long handled spoon for ice tea. Apparently there is a specialspoon one uses for hot tea.
So, what would you call the standardspoon they wrap in a napkin along with a standardfork and a standardknife in a resturaunt?
The one that is round on one end, like a really shallow bowl, and can hold liquid! That one! And hurry cause my soup is getting cold! (Oh Gawd. I see a wiki article about soupspoons in my future!)
Theres’s the wiki description of soupspoon there. I hope that clears up any wrong ideas about what is what in the world of spoons.
Oh my! You know, I could have died not knowing all of this! What a tragedy that would have been! :D :D :D
I’m eating a bowl of Wheat Chex. With a serving spoon. Those little spoons don’t allow for enough milk in each bite.
I have a tiny mouth and it needs a tiny spoon (at work I eat yogurt off of a plastic knife).
@jca Interesting. I never use the word tablespoon for anything but the unit measure. You’re right that most flatware sets have an elongated spoon. I even know in the recesses of my mind that there are cream soup spoons and broth soup spoons, but I still call the elongated larger spoon a big spoon or soup spoon. I think the two different soup spoons are just different scales but still the spoon part is rounded. I’m not including things like a Chinese soup spoon, which I have never liked.
I find this whole spoon conversation very interesting. I love spoons. If I ever visit my friend in Princeton I will visit the Spoon Museum
@JLeslie The origin of the measuring spoons is their everyday counterparts. Early recipes were referring to utensils that everyone had in their homes.
@dappled_leaves I would have assumed that, but now it isn’t the case. When I was a teen I used a spoon from our everyday flatware to measure my medicine 4 times a day for ten days and did not get cured. That’s when I really learned you have to use a measuring spoon for an accurate measure.
God. My daughter was 16 when she had Ryan. One day, when he was about 2, he was acting a little odd. I asked how much of whatever medicine she had given him. She said, “I gave him 2 spoonfuls, like the doctor said.” Then she showed me the spoon.
I yelled “That’s a tablespoon!!!” You are supposed to give him 2 teaspoons!
She said, “What’s the difference?”
I really wanted to pop her.
But I thought you didn’t know the difference!
<confused>
@Dutchess_III I took too little. At the time I actually knew 3 teaspoons in a tablespoon, I thought of the smaller spoon as a teaspoon and the larger as a tablespoon. It just wasn’t exact enough, and so the antibiotic didn’t work in the end.
Lack of pies <<< spoonerism
I’m referring to actual measuring spoons that have “teaspoon” and “tablespoon” written on them @dappled_leaves.
Until now, I’ve never heard of regular flatware being called that. Well, except for the long spoons for iced tea.
@Dutchess_III But, didn’t you think it was weird that the measuring spoons had those names, if they had no connection to tea and table?
I figured they had their origins in flatware. We just don’t use them when referring to flat ware today. We don’t have a special fork for salad, and another fork for the meal. I mean I don’t. I just use forks and spoons and knives. From this site. They don’t even mention a tea spoon or a table spoon. Just a small spoon and a soup spoon.
Bottom Row From Left to Right
Salad fork
Dinner fork
Dessert fork
Dinner plate with salad or soup bowl on it
Knife
Small spoon
Soup spoon
” We just don’t use them when referring to flat ware today”
Honestly, I think you are in the minority here. I’m genuinely surprised to encounter a person who doesn’t know this.
I have heard of all of those things, even been at tables set that way. It’s just not something I encounter every day. I certainly never set a table that way. About as formal as I get is fork on the left, spoon and knife on the right.
Also, I have never had a cup of tea at a restaurant before, and I don’t imagine I ever will. If I did, I wouldn’t care what kind of spoon they gave me, as long as it could fit in the cup and it worked.
Well, half the time when I use the term flatware at a restaurant—a restaurant! The waitperson does not know what I am talking about.
I actually hadn’t heard the term “flatware” until about 10 years ago. I always called it “silverware.” I think it was my Mom who told me about the term “flatware” for non-silver flatware.
@Dutchess_III “I wouldn’t care what kind of spoon they gave me, as long as it could fit in the cup and it worked.”
They would give you a teaspoon, of course. And now you can never again claim that you don’t know that.
I hate when I am given a teaspoon for soup or cereal. It esoecially happens when only plastic is available. Once in a blue moon a place has plastic soup spoons when everything is plastic and paper.
At home I often use a dinner fork for salad, but I use the shorter fork for desserts. In a restaurant I like to have a change in utensils for each course. even if they are the same size. I really don’t understand how a restaurant can expect me to keep my dirty fork and knife on a napkin or bread plate while I wait for the next course.
The restaurants we go to only have one size eating spoon.
Hm. I don’t have a problem keeping the fork I ate my salad with and reusing it. I might wipe it off with a napkin so I don’t get French dressing on my mashed potatoes, but other than that I have no problem with it.
You should see the looks I get when I ask for a spork.~
I have no problem if the plates are switched at once, but if my appetizer plate is removed and the entree is not ready, I don’t like when a waiter expects me to take my used fork off the plate and hold onto it until the next plates arrive.
I usually only eat one course. Also, I eat slowly, which means very often when I do order an appetizer, the appetizer is barely finished when the second course comes out, so I don’t have to deal with the dirty fork hanging around too often. Stiil, one thing I like about upscale restaurants is the waitstaff has some knowledge about flatware and assumes a different utensil for each course.
The worst and most tragic “mishap” at a restaurant I have read on fluther is when a distant relative of Judi’s asked if a salad dressing (I think it was salad dressing, maybe something else) had peanut oil in it and she was assured it didn’t. She ordered the dish and ate some of the food, then quickly became anaphylatic and died.
I prefer the same plate and the same utensil(s) for all foods. Who needs all that silver stuff; it’s confusing and wasteful. Take my fork away and I might just slap your wrist.
Does anyone use the word cutlery as the collective noun? It’s very common in the UK
Cutlery? Sometimes. Eating utensils sometimes. Flatware sometimes.
I rarely use the word cutlery in place of using flatware or silverware, but it is used in the US. If I use the word I use it in reference to knives, but I also understand it to mean all eating utensils.
My food was really late coming out one night and they told me they had dropped my duck.
^ Sounds like a euphemism.
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