Why is it shameful to fall in love when you're older than the beloved?

Do you mean to build a gender bias into your question, Susan? As in an older woman and a younger man? Otherwise, one party is always older than the other.

Who would make such a claim?

The problem lies more with the age and standing of the youngest member.

If it’s an underage child, there are problems galore both legal and otherwise. ( And I’m not referring to something like a college Sophomore and a High School Junior where it’s more technicality than significant difference.)

I’m talking about Jerry Sandusky and his ilk, just to be clear.

If both parties are of legal age, then it becomes more nuanced where issues of power come into play. If they are colleagues in the workplace and the younger is clearly subordinate to the older, then there’s a huge potential for exploitation even tho the younger may not see it that way.

It’s really difficult to provide a one size fits all answer without details because there have been many cases of significant age difference without any of the above factors which have worked out fine regardless of others’ negative opinions.

Tony Randall, Larry King, and Don Imus all married women significantly younger for example and they appear to be ok (with the exception of some hiccups in the King situation).

It makes me uncomfortable when men marry woman who are easily young enough to be their daughter.

The other way around is far less common, but it would still make me uncomfortable.

I think there is definitely a bias against older women who are in love with younger men even if it is only an 8 – 12 year difference. For some reason, that does not seem to come into play if the ages are reversed.

within a +/- 10 year window and over the age of consent it’s all fair and should not be controversial.

Shameful probably not an issue, wise choice, not so sure.

I don’t know about shameful but certainly conspicuous. As a woman in a relationship for 5 and a half years with a man 23 years my senior I am well aware that people definitely ’ look’, perhaps stare would be more accurate. I was certainly not a child, just short of 40 when the relationship began so one could hardly accuse my partner of ‘child snatcher-y’. I suppose people stare because it is out of the ordinary, most couples are near enough in age to each other so any other combination is unexpected. I think age gap relationships cannot be evaluated as a whole, there are different combinations which deserve to be ‘assessed’ individually.

I don’t think it’s shameful in any way whatsoever. Whatever two consenting adults want to do is fine with me. There are some issues they need to address, but I’d say go for it.

It is absolutely not shameful…
Love doesn’t see height, weight, age and also social status… So you should usually not care about what people say… Just follow your heart and love your beloved back…