What advice would you give?

Talk to hi parents about what their objections are and what he sees in them. See if he can negotiate a compromise. How old is this boy?

@janbb 16

Yes – so my advice holds. If he is much older or younger, it might be different.

Maybe if they are afraid the friends will get him into trouble, he could visit with them in his own house.

Most parents have a reason for not liking their childrens “friends”, what is theirs?

Yep, he needs to talk with his parents and ask them what they object to as well as state his opinion that they should trust him enough to make his own decisions at age 16 now and that making mistakes or poor choices goes with the territory of learning and life experience.
16 is a time where parents need to face the fact that their job is pretty much done and they have to learn to let go and step aside unless it is a serious matter such as excessive drinking, drugs, crime etc. Parents need to understand that there is a time to let go and kids need to understand that this is often very difficult for parents. Mutual sensitivity is required.

Agree with everyone. Parents are much better at sensing when a person could be a bad influence than kids are. Consider trusting them.

His parents have a reason for not wanting him to be socialize with them. In this particular case, since he is a guy, I am guessing that these “friends” exude an attitude of disdain toward adults in general. They either have a reputation for getting in trouble (parents talk to other parents you know) or have been caught doing something illegal. They may be older and have cars which means they can get into trouble faster. I am also guessing (and this is where the experience comes in) that he actually exhibits very similar traits to the negative aspects the parents see in his friends but they either don’t see it, are in denial about it or know it and are trying to see if distancing him from others like him will help him.

A few things to consider.

Much as it may seem that way at times, a parents job is not to make a childs life miserable; they do not get bonus parent points for doing so. Their main concern is that their child grows up a healthy and capable adult and sometimes are a little overprotective in their zeal. But it is up to the child to learn what is required and follow through.

Trust is an important issue between parent and child. It starts out young with small things; “Mom, can I go across the street to Mikes house?” “Yes but we are having lunch at noon, be back by then.” And if the child is back when they need to be then it is easier to increase the freedom each time, both knowing that the child is responsible. If this bond of trust is solid, there are fewer and fewer problems as the child ages.

With rights come responsibilities and exhibiting responsible behavior gains you more rights. Are you where you say you will be when you say you will be? Do you have the wherewithal to walk away from potential trouble? Can you see what potential trouble is around? Can you function on your own or do you need to be told what to do. Is your homework done each night? Are your chores finished? Has the dog been fed? Did you mention you need lunch money in the morning the night before or at the last minute darting out the door? That kind of thing.

Parents have a little more life experience and a lot of that experience comes from making mistakes. A parent would prefer that a child learn from the parents mistakes and not have to repeat them and suffer whatever consequences they did.

Another thing to consider is does your friend or his friends have to hide any of their activities to do what they want? Do they ever lie to get what they want? If so, please remember that every time you lie or have to hide what you’re doing, you lose a little bit of yourself that you’ll never get back: Your integrity.

A parent is good at spotting this sort of attitude, and as the old saying goes, “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire”. I’d say in the majority of situations like this, our 6th sense is correct. Be careful!

It’s hard to say without knowing what the criticisms are. Are the boys doing drugs or cutting school?

I would think your parents are older and wiser. They must sense something about these new friends that are not in your best interests.

I agree with parents having a 6th sense, but…I also know there are parents that are controlling and have a really hard time letting their kids start making their own decisions. If there is smoke fine, but if they are blowing smoke they need to take a step back and free the kid to make his own choices or who to hang out with. Besides, it is a fact, that teens are more concerned with their peer group acceptance than with their family approval at some point. It is a natural part of growing up and unless it is a really serious situation I say leave kids alone to make their own choices.

He needs to come back and give us a better idea of what his parents are like.

There is a lot left unsaid. What motivates the decision of these parents? Is it behavior, race, political beliefs of the kids or their parents? Could it be the parents are just plain snobbish, or do they have safety motivations and good reason to be concerned?
Please include more information, so we know just what this friend is facing.
Could it be that this friend is a potential boyfriend, and his parents don’t want him dating you?
We need some more information, to make the best advice.

TEll the parents to allow the kid time to learn & grow. Kids often will come to the right conclusion with open dialogue.

advice to the boy or the parents?

I agree with @snowberry that if there is lying and hiding then there is good reason for the parents to not like the new friends.

However, I found out when I was an adult that several parents thought I was a wild child because my mom let me dress older and because I worked in a cool store and had a very late curfew. I was the kid who never drank it did drugs. I remember specifically one of my friends who lost her virginity at 14 and used to party a lot, her mom was shocked to find out I didn’t drink when we were teens when I used to hang out with the family years later.

Parents sometimes judge kids on appearance and they can be way off.

The way to handle it if the kids are good kids is to let the parents get to know the friends and to talk to his parents about their concerns.

If the friends are doing drugs, drinking, breaking laws, and harming others, then the parents are right. If the boy thinks those friends are cool or fun, he is misguided and those friends will only bring trouble.