How likely are you to make conversation with strangers?

Very unlikely, except on rare occasions. Usually the only time I’ll open my mouth around strangers is if I feel something of substance has come up. Otherwise, I’m horrible at smalltalk and go out of my way to avoid it at all costs. If people attempt it with me, I’m the kind of person that causes it to trail off in awkward silence. I don’t mean to, I just suck at it. Get me going about something that matters to me, however, and it’s hard to get me to shut up.

I do it all the time. But only with men about my age.
“Does your wife know you’re eating that?”

I sometimes just started a conversation with strangers when I have to sit with them for a long time, mostly with people at my age. The topics are various, depending on the surrounding: it can be about the weather, what we are waiting, or just a little commentary on their clothes. The conversation can continue or not depends on how willing the person is to talk.

Over the years I’ve developed radar that alerts me when a stranger (in a supermarket line, say) is receptive to a bit of friendly banter, and when I get that green light in my head, I usually have no problem initiating a conversation My radar’s right about 85% of the time.

I do it a lot as well. All ages, I comment on their tat’s. Ask generational questions. Basically be friendly.

Not likely.

I’ve been doing it a lot lately.

All the time. Except for the thing about the Broncos. I don’t like ‘em, but they don’t suck.

I do it a lot more than I did 30 years ago. It’s usually in situations like standing in line somewhere, or waiting for something to occur. I’ll speak to women about food they are buying, men about plans, kids about what they are doing, joke around with younger kids.

And I’ll always say “hi puppy” to a doggie.

How likely are you to make conversation with strangers? It happens with alarming frequency.
If you have an opinion about something, and a stranger is there, how likely are you to share? Occasionally. It is fairly easy to tell if a stranger wants to chat, be it by body language or tone.
Do you have to know the next guy to give your opinion? No. However, an opinion may be delicately worded in order to continue the conversation if it is of interest.
Or are you happy just finding the kindred spirits that you do? This is often a relief. It is a way to confirm that personal thoughts aren’t completely ‘out there’. On the other hand, there is something enjoyable about discussing a topic with a stranger that generates doubt about my own theory.

Very likely. In my previous job, I went to homes of suspected child abusers and had to interview them. I also assessed Medicaid recipients for home care (another department) and had to ask very intimate questions (“Do you wear diapers?” “Can you change the catheter yourself?”). Now one thing I do is go to parties (it’s not as much fun as it sounds – believe me it’s easier to stay at work) for my job, and I am compelled to make small talk with the other party goers. People think I don’t mind it because I am good at it, but I really don’t care to do it.

In situations where I am in gatherings where everyone is a stranger, I have a hard time circulating. It’s easier for me to find one or two people and sit with them and have a conversation.

Very likely. I’ll strike up a conversation with anyone and often do. I like people. If someone is obviously buried in a book, avoiding making eye contact or clearly doesn’t want to interact, I leave them alone but otherwise I’ll make conversation.

@jca, Would you say that your ability to make conversation with a stranger is natural or conditioned?

I do it sometimes. Depends on my mood, and whether I’m in the middle of something (book, texting, whatever). I always respond positively if someone else strikes up a conversation.

@Pied_Pfeffer: That’s a good question. My mother said she raised me so I wouldn’t be shy, because she was shy as a child. I do like parties and going over friends’ houses for dinner and stuff like that, but I am classified as an introvert, which was described to me as “where you get your energy from.” Do you get your energy from yourself or from others? I definitely get my energy from myself, and I like private time every day, and will make it if I don’t get it.

As far as the asking of intimate questions, that was conditioned. This is the job, this is what you have to do. When I was at a large gathering once (not work related), I was sitting with this girl chatting in a room by ourselves. I told her that before she came along, it was easier for me to sit in that room by myself then to go out and talk to all these strangers, but yet at work I do this intimate information gathering stuff. She made a good point. She said that maybe it was because at work, our roles are clearly defined. I am the caseworker, these people are my clients. At this large party of strangers, there are no roles and so I was kind of lost.

@jca People often mistake introverts for being shy. I’m also an unshy introvert—an unshy introvert that is likely to strike up conversations with strangers.

@fluthernutter Good point. I always have to explain the difference between shy and introverted to people. Coming from me, I think they get a bit confused because I’m shy and introverted, but I’ve known plenty of introverts who are far better at socializing than I am. There’s a particular introvert that I know personally who I would classify as extremely introverted, like myself, but if I had met him at a party or some kind of group event, I never would have guessed that he was introverted.

Nobody charges me to share my opinion, so I share share share. I don’t have to know them.

Depending on the situation and place and those around me. Seldom happens.

When I was around 11 I moved in with my aunt in Chino, CA. This actually took a fair amount of training. I had pretty much grew up up on a farm and when I moved I was told to never look anyone in the eye. Lots of gang-bangers that somehow equated eye contact with wanting to fight them. So I learned to walk while counting cracks on the sidewalk. No eye contact unless you knew they wouldn’t steal your shoes.

Then I moved to Eugene Oregon when I was 15. That was a totally different world. I went from pretty much a place of constant fear to people commenting that I looked sad and giving me hugs on 13th while I waited for the bus. Unfortunately Eugene is a lot less friendly now. That was 22 years ago.

Not likely at all. When a stranger and I share a thought, the initial eye contact may evolve into a short exchange – but for the most part, I don’t enjoy meeting new people.

Fair to moderate

Does “make conversation” mean initiate conversation? If so, it depends on circumstances as well as opportunities. How many sentences are required back and forth to qualify as conversation? I’m out and about quite a bit, so I’m apt to interact with dozens of people in a single day. Interesting question. Something to think about.

Not likely at all. I rarely talk to people I don’t know unless they speak to me first. I’m not antisocial…I just can’t stand people. :)

And I don’t offer any opinion that might piss them off. This is the US, and football is a big deal to a lot of people, so I’d never tell a stranger wearing a football t-shirt/hat that their team sucks, even if I’m kidding. Here in SC, a Clemson fan would probably bite my head off (or engage me in a long, boring debate) if I randomly said, “the Tigers suck, brah.”

I used to be very chatty to everyone. Now, I don’t. In some ways this might be a good thing. Although I do feel as though I’ve lost a fundamental part of myself. Perhaps in the past I over shared I think.

As a New Yorker, rarely or never. I have on occasion spoke to people in the grocery store about certain food items but mostly I have seen these people shopping there before so they are not total strangers even though I don’t know anything about them.

where I live people are not known to be warm and cuddly. we are more cautious. we have to be.

As y’all might have guessed, there’s not a day goes by that I don’t chat up some total stranger, unless I don’t meet more than 3.
I give opinions, product advice and commentary on a regular basis. If the other party is receptive, we have banter. If the other party is unreceptive, I’m not bothered and go on about my day.

I can talk with anyone. Strangers are just friends I haven’t met yet. And the Broncos always suck.

Some who answered here mentioned opinions. I don’t give a negative opinion unless I’m asked, and then I will be diplomatic. I will throw out positive opinions on occasion – “I love that scarf!”

I do it a lot, especially during my commute (I go to work on the bus). I find senior citizens are much more likely to enjoy a bit of casual conversation with a stranger.

@jca Oh come on. You think the Broncos don’t suck?

@Adirondackwannabe: I don’t know much about football. LOL.

@jca I’m actually preferring soccer to football these days.

@Adirondackwannabe: I’ll be missing Derek Jeter’s butt.

Hmm, well sometimes, even guys have to admit, that is a nice ass.

I talk to people all the time in my area and have no problem with talking to New Yorkers as well. Usually it is just a casual remark or some shared banter; i don’t go in to life stories or opinions.The funny thing is that it embarassed the hell out of me when my Mom used to talk to strangers!

This goes against everything I’ve ever read but I didn’t find New Yorkers unfriendly at all. People talked to us and what I loved was that when we got on the subway and there weren’t seats for both of us to sit together, single people moved to let us sit together. We were a bit stunned by that, but it was a lovely thing to see.

Oh and I don’t give opinions either. It would be rare I do that unless the person signals they want my opinion. I’m with @Adirondackwannabe, strangers are just friends I haven’t met yet.

@Earthbound_Misfit That has been my experience with New Yorkers as well. You just have to pull out a map for someone to offer directions to where you’re trying to go. Very friendly and helpful, on average.

My experience with New Yorkers as well, @Earthbound_Misfit and @dappled_leaves. It’s one of the few places I’ve visited where people walked up to us on the street and said, “You look a bit lost. Can I help?” I never even saw anyone else get into a hassle.

Niagara Falls was a low point for me, where even the people in the Visitor’s Center were rude and abrupt.

Very.

One should use the talents they possess.

@ibstubro That was my experience of NYC too. Even travelling alone on the subway in the evening, I never saw any trouble or felt at all unsafe (and that was back when I was still presenting as female).

Same here. More lurve for NYC.

@jca You and I are alike in that way. It’s a matter of learning how to win over others when it isn’t innate. The older we get, the more we recognize that it is exhausting by the end of the day. Because we aren’t on the lower scale of introversion, it is easier to end up in a career where interaction is an integral part of the job description. The coaching helps, too. What keeps us motivated is what brings us personal satisfaction.

I don’t have a problem whatsoever with striking up a conversation with a stranger as long as I sense through their body language, that they are open to it. I seem to be an approachable person and strangers often strike up conversations with me, so I don’t have to start the conversation, they do it instead.

Let’s see… Today I joked with a guy who had a huge pile of leaves on his front lawn. I was driving by and pulled over because the pile was so big. I asked if I could playt in it for a while – just a few minutes. :-)
I talked with a woman who remembered to bring her BOGO bagel coupon at a bagel shop – I had forgotten mine.
I was at a big box store and joked with a guy who was looking at the many forms of flashlights. “All you want is a flashlight but, noooo, you need to decide all this other stuff…”

Whether or not I have a goal in talking to them. Do they attract me? Do they have something I want? Who are they with? Can I get away easily with “it”?

Ordinarily the answer is no. I have no interest in conversing with strangers.