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cheebdragon's avatar

How often do you lie to the people you love?

Asked by cheebdragon (20629points) November 8th, 2014

I’m talking about the kind of lies that could seriously damage a friendship or relationship.

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18 Answers

Here2_4's avatar

I don’t tell lies like that. I did once, about twenty eight years ago, or so. I did so though, because it really was for the best. It was pretty depressing, and painful for everybody involved, but better if I hadn’t done it. Since then, I only tell lies like, of course I love tat sweater honey. I don’t know why it was in the back of the closet.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

Only when I was much younger and scared of the repercussions. Now, I own all of my actions. Sometimes I make stupid mistakes, and sometimes people get mad about the choices I make that they have no right to get mad about. No matter what, I won’t lie about the things I do/don’t do. It’s pointless. That doesn’t mean I have to divulge everything either, though. If I don’t feel like talking about something, or I don’t feel like it’s someone’s business, I’ll just say so.

dxs's avatar

I can’t remember the last time I lied in general. I think I’m so honest that I’m too frank at times.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Never anyways Mrs Squeeky can see right through me when I try to hide anything from her.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Never. I don’t lie. I can’t remember the last time I lied.

JLeslie's avatar

Never. I’m thinking never say never so maybe there has been a time, but I can’t think of one. If I go way back to when I was young I lied a few times to my parents about where I was going, but nothing that would permanently affect my relationship with them.

Mimishu1995's avatar

I sometimes lie to the ones I love, but I only use white lies. I never say anything that can damage the relationship.

dappled_leaves's avatar

I don’t. It’s not my style. My friends know that about me already.

cheebdragon's avatar

All great answers, thank you!

Here is the second part to the question- do you think it’s possible to really love someone if you (in general) can tell them such awful lies?
In my mind, lying is disrespectful and if you don’t have enough respect for someone to be honest with them, then how much can you possibly love them?

I’m excluding lies told to parents because that’s completely different.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

I totally agree with you. If someone can’t be honest with me, they either don’t trust me or they don’t care about me enough to tell me the truth. Either way, not someone I want to be in a relationship with.

Berserker's avatar

I lied to my grandma about my drinking problem but she pretty much saw right through me. She wasn’t even mad, and the reason I lied is because I thought she would be. This didn’t happen over night, but she knew for a long time before confronting me for real about it.

Mimishu1995's avatar

It depends on the lies. If they are harmless lies or to protect the relationship, then I can appreciate then in some way. Otherwise I don’t tolerate lies, especially damaging lies. How can you love someone if you gain their truth by lying?

jca's avatar

I don’t lie but I may not reveal everything that’s going on or that I do.

A good friend’s husband recently died of cancer, and I have a relative with cancer. I told my relative that the friend’s hubby was ill but I didn’t tell her that he died.

JLeslie's avatar

@cheebdragon I think so. Some men are raised in a culture where they lie and cheat, but I think they still are capable of loving their wives. It could be argued they don’t really know what love is, or don’t really love that woman if they do such things. I guess it depends how you look at it. Most men who cheat in a chronic way aren’t doing it to their wives as in “how could you do this to me” they are doing it for themselves, or because it’s what they know.

Also, I think many big lies mean the person themselves are doing something wrong. That doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t love. I know addicts who love their children, but they use to a point that they lie about it. Would you say they don’t love their kids? I think there are all sorts of scenarios that are very complicated.

dappled_leaves's avatar

@cheebdragon “In my mind, lying is disrespectful and if you don’t have enough respect for someone to be honest with them, then how much can you possibly love them?”

I agree with this on a very fundamental level. It is something I’ve had to struggle with when other people have lied to me.

SABOTEUR's avatar

I don’t.

What would be the point?

JLeslie's avatar

@SABOTEUR To sabotage them?

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