Grandparents and parents: have you ever done something to or for your grandchildren or children that at least one of the parents was against?

My grandmother used to give me a certain amount of money everytime I visited her. Although my father was strongly opposed to it, saying that she needed the money for her living, she still gave me for a considerably long time. My father began to prohibit me from visiting her, thinking I only went there for the money. Now she still give me money but less often than before. And with that dad stopped prohibiting me.

As for my parents vs my grandma, there was a story too. One day grandma gave my family an amount of money, saying that it was “her personal gift for me for passing an exam”. She wanted us to spend all the money on jewelry because she wanted the jewelry to be used in formal and when I gor married (a way of saying “I’m rich”). My parents did buy some jewelry, but they decided to spend only a little, and kept the rest. We still haven’t told grandma about our decision.

Nothing of any consequence. Any big issues, we give my daughter the standard “we’ll see” and then talk to each other about it first.

I’m sure there’s been plenty of minor decisions that go down when we’re each alone with her that the other may or may not agree with.

For example: when out at a store, my wife is more likely to say ‘yes’ to a purchase than I am. I tend to say, “put it in your Christmas list” or “well, your birthday is coming up”.

My Ex and I were just talking and part of what we said was that we had never disagreed with each other on parenting issues. That was pretty amazing considering we came from wildly different cultures and upbringings.

A nephew was staying with us for a bit, and he was misbehaving. His mother never spanked him, or scolded him, or did anything that really discouraged that kind of behavior. When he acted up at my house, I did punish him (though not as much as I might my own children). He said I shouldn’t, since he was not punished by his parents. I told him, and his mother, that while he was at my house, it would be my rules.

My mother does things with my kids all the time that I don’t want to happen, even after I explicitly said, “NO.” She finds it amusing and that has affected the frequency and length of visits.

My husband is from a different culture and generation than me and prides himself on his structure, regiment, and routine. I’m the exact opposite, more quixotical. We balance each other out well on a daily basis, but when it comes to dealing with kids, we are different. I am mindful not to cancel out his authority at all, but the kids do know who to ask when they want something spontaneous.

Funny that this should come up. Just last night my daughter was on a rant because I’ve been joking around that I created the 18 people who will be at Thanksgiving. I don’t know why it struck her so wrong, or if she was just having a bad hair day, but she was really taking offense at it.
Then she went on to to tell me she was offended if I called her kids “mine,” and how it pissed her off if the kids say, “Mom?” and I answer them, just from looong habit. I actually haven’t done that in a long time because it makes her mad
I hope she’s over whatever.

But, generally speaking I respect my kid’s wishes. If a kid is grounded from computers for misbehavior, I back that up here.

My mom, on the other hand, did a lot of things I didn’t want her to do. She didn’t care.