How to look at the bright side of the things?
Well, I don’t know where to start or how to start. The only thing I know is that I am both lucky and unlucky. I am lucky because I have a great family and friends that I can rely on. I have the great job that I’ve been dreaming of and well let’s just say wonderful colleagues that I hang on almost every each day and night. My job pays me a good salary and I am thankful for it. Plus, my family pays my rent and a lot of additionals. Moreover, they encourage me to see the world. Thanks to them, I had visited lots of European Country. So, it’s clearly, I have a great life. As mentioned above, I am truly, deeply, thankful and grateful for my life.
You may ask why I feel unlucky. I don’t have any siblings. Eventhough I grew up in a big blessed family, I feel the deficiency of love. I know that there is nothing I can do. But sometimes I find myself more and more viscerally excited by the level of interest that has been shown by my friends/people. Secondly, I am 28 years old girl whose never ever had a relationship before. Well just flings. I’ve waiting this long to get a relationship for nothing! Yet no one seems to appear on my door. One can say I have high standards and should have lowered it. Someone else can say I give the wrong vibe. Well, it was true then I lowered my expectation and tried to be positive all the time, like smiling, trying to communicate etc. And later I criticized myself, beat myself up, felt sorry for myself for not being able to have a relationship! Well I am here, standing still. And I started to feel like I cannot hold onto the life since almost all of my friends are getting engage or marry. It feels like I am forever alone and I don’t want to be! I do have a beautiful dream about my future life. Especially I do want to have babies. I am really depressed, indeed but happy at the same time. I can deal with life but not knowing what life will bring it to me makes it harsh. Lastly, I suppose all the negative thoughts are on my mind because I live alone and my brain tricks me, mocks me all time. It made me believe that I stuck in a rat and nothing will ever change.
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8 Answers
First, try a daily gratitude practice.
Each morning, make a list of three things you feel grateful for. It will help you recognize and appreciate the good things in your life.
Secondly, realize that you are as lovable as you love yourself. Find the good within yourself, and others will find it in you too.
You’re in the process of going from having best friends to having married friends. I went through it.
I’d suggest doing some voluntary work with people who are homeless, disabled, suffering from mental health problems, refugees or asylum seekers. I think in a very short time you’ll look at your own problems quite differently and your own life will seem much brighter and happier. Strange thing, but people often feel happier when they’re helping others.
What drivel.
Get in your car and drive to the nearest food market.
Strike up a conversation with someone in the produce section. Then strike up a conversation with someone of the opposite sex in the meat department.
Day 2, drive to a different town/city and visit 2 ‘cultural attractions’. Engage someone in conversation at both. No one cares if they don’t respond to you. Including you.
You had the upper ground.
Gotta agreewith @ibstubro on this (and many other things to be sure) but your questions seems to emphasize “WAIT”. I have been waiting for this, I have been waiting for that….
Time to stop waiting and take the initiative girl. Go look for what you want, grab what you need and hold on for dear life.
I will tell you the same thing I told my daughter; there is no white knight gonna sweep in and carry you away to live happily ever after in a fantasy palace. A relationship takes two, and two who are willing to work for their love and happiness.
It’s called re-framing, Sir
What my counselor is making me do is making something called a “vision board”. Basically, you put pictures of the things you love about your life and the things you want in your life. Hang it somewhere where you’ll see it every day. Then you’ll be reminded about the good things in your life, and then it will inspire you and teach you to stay positive so that you’ll be able to accomplish those things you want in your life.
What she also makes me do is she made me write down 20 different things, 5 for each category: 5 positive statements you know to be true about yourself, 5 positive statements that others have said are true, 5 positive statements of what you want to be true, and 5 positive statements about your future. Once you have these 20 statements written down, you have to read these out loud 3 times in the morning, 3 times in the afternoon, and three times at night (or 3 times whenever you are free to do so).
Something that is horrible to us is comparing ourselves to others. She tells me that when I begin to compare myself to others, I have to stop and think about what I’m thinking to myself. I have to think, “If I have what this person has, what difference will it make to me?” Then I have to go through all the positive things about myself and my life in my head.
The key to all of this is to stay positive. I know, it’s really, really, really hard- I’m horrible at it! But you gotta keep challenging these thoughts you have and trying really hard to change your way of thinking and looking at things. I don’t know what your kind of beliefs are, if you want to you can check this out, but if it doesn’t work with your beliefs, then it’s fine; there is a documentary called “The Secret” (it may also be a book too), and basically it just talks about that if you keep thinking positive, positive things will come to you. However, the opposite is also true: if you keep thinking negative, negative things will come to you. I highly recommend you check it out!
Good luck, and I hope things get better for you!
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