Social Question

Blackberry's avatar

Do you make eye contact while passing people when walking around or out during the day?

Asked by Blackberry (34157points) November 25th, 2014

What about looking over at people in their cars at stop lights and such?

I try to avoid eye contact in passing, but I’m not really sure why. Sometimes I feel I would just rather not deal with the awkwardness, but I’ve also missed potential opportunities by not being more open and outgoing while out doing things.

My eye contact is reserved for actual conversation most of the time.

How about you?

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32 Answers

Coloma's avatar

Well..I wouldn’t say I make sustained eye contact but I’m an outgoing, extroverted and highly humorous type. I talk to strangers all the time, say “Hello” or “Hi” or “Beautiful day”, crack observational jokes when it’s obvious others are seeing what I’m seeing, make small talk easily. I like to play with people but I don’t stare at them intensely without saying anything. lol

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, I think my normal personality would, but in the past I learned that making eye contact can lead to unwanted contact by men. So I conditioned myself out of it.

dxs's avatar

If on the streets, sure. I don’t say hello to anyone unless they make eye contact with me, though.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I always glance at the eyes, then play off what I get in return. Some people give me a smile and a nod and they get one back. Some avoid eye contact all together. I look away from them. Sometimes I get a 1000 watt smile. Those are nice. I’m in a very small city so most people are friendly.

josie's avatar

Always.

It is affirming and positive, and done at no cost to me. And if they make eye contact with me I say “hey” or something. My little contribution to peace and harmony.

Plus, while I do not totally appreciate the comment, some people volunteer that my appearance (I am pretty tall, in pretty good shape for a nearly middle aged guy, and a couple of tattoos) is intimidating. Even though I know how to kill them with my bare hands, I would never want to give people the impression that I was not secretly a nice guy.

So why not?

ibstubro's avatar

I generally make a lot of brief eye contact. I talk to a lot of strangers anymore. I’ve gained a bit of weight recently and I must look friendlier or more non-threatening. People seem to smile at me a lot now, and that wasn’t always the case.

I’ve been noting lately that I’m bad about making eye contact with cashiers, and I’m trying to notice and correct that.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

It depends on the circumstances, but I don’t avoid eye contact. The only time I would avoid eye contact is when speaking to an Indigenous person who is quite traditional. It can be culturally offensive to make eye contact. Other than that, I don’t avoid it but I don’t go around deliberately making eye contact.

FutureMemory's avatar

@josie Cool story bro

I have a similar predicament, actually. A friend of mine told me if he didn’t know me and saw me coming his way, he’d cross the street.

josie's avatar

^ There you go

zenvelo's avatar

All the time! I smile too! And at all kinds of people, not just pretty young women.

Broken_EarthAngel's avatar

Im usually ALWAYS a nice person, so its a yes for me, at times I get the look of, who gave you permission to speak to me? Which makes me feel foolish for speaking to strangers in the beginning, sometimes Id rather just save my greetings for those who count.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Broken_EarthAngel Don’t sweat it, I blow off the negative responses. Welcome to fluther.

trailsillustrated's avatar

I look at everyone, it’s fun. I get really positive responses. Sometimes they stare too long and too intensely then I get into a stare down . Sometimes Indian men very pointedly stare, then I do a weird face. Cars I look too. Never anything intrusive, just glancing around.

Broken_EarthAngel's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe Hey good lookin out! Thanks :)

stanleybmanly's avatar

Hadn’t thought about it. I’ll have to pay more attention.

prairierose's avatar

Yes, I often make eye contact and sometimes smile too.

Misspegasister28's avatar

I try not to, it’s awkward. But I do try to smile at strangers and sometimes say hi.

rojo's avatar

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Depends on the situation.

AshlynM's avatar

In general, no. No reason to.

ucme's avatar

If you wanna think of cleavage as eyes, then yeah, sure.

jca's avatar

I look at everyone’s face. I’m a people watcher. If people say hi, I reciprocate. If they look straight ahead, I look away, too.

Foie_Gras's avatar

People don’t seem to look down enough to meet me eye to eye. Then again I’m only 2 feet tall.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Hey @Marwyn! Long time no see! But then again, you’re only 2 feet tall.

LornaLove's avatar

I’ve been so aware of this lately. Recently I moved from the Southern hemisphere to Europe and what a difference. At ‘home’ people would make eye contact and say hello. Here, there is very little eye contact. I have long known cultural norms are different everywhere, but it has had a negative effect on me.

People to my mind, seem withdrawn, cold and this is an alienating experience to a person who’s experience is very different. I do tend to make eye contact and greet people. (Not to everyone that would be exhausting and silly). I often say to my BF, why go out? he and I, we sit here and eat dinner, so why go out and pay to do the same. Sit and stare at each other with no contact whatsoever with anyone else?

rojo's avatar

I have a friend who has taken to wearing an eye patch when he goes on vacation. He says he notices that people will do a quick glance then will avoid making eye contact with him and as a result he does not get hit on by the street vendors/beggars etc.

Dutchess_III's avatar

You want to know something weird? We’ve all gotten hung up at 4 ways stops and everyone starts losing their brains over who should go first. If I was there first, I take the initiative. However, if I want the other person to go I look steadily away from them. Like if they’re directly opposite me, I look steadily to the right. It works, every time. It’s kind of counter intuitive to me, but it works.

dxs's avatar

Ugh I remember 4-way stops. They always came in groups, so when you hit one, you’d end up hitting five. Not for the passive drivers. I hated it when people didn’t go when it was their turn. Stop being nice and follow the damn rules!

Dutchess_III's avatar

I know, right?! My husband does that “waving the other driver through” thing. I get frustrated. It’s a complete waste of everyone’s time and annoying as hell. It also seems a little pussy to me. Just start your wheels rolling and they’ll stay where they are. Usually.

dxs's avatar

^^The wave is the worst, but I always take it to avoid confusion. I don’t miss driving. Even when I’m trying to cross the street. There’s nobody behind you, why bother stopping? I feel more comfortable not crossing in front of a car anyway.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I think it sets up confusion, especially if they don’t respond right away. If you are the first one at a stop sign, even if only by a second, you are the first one to go.

ibstubro's avatar

Ugh. “The Wave”. If you had just taken your turn, I would already be gone. 4-ways are grand as long as everyone plays by the rules.

I was the 3rd car of 3 to pull up to a 4-way just today. Everyone just sat there. Finally I went. The the 2nd car did the same. The girl in the car that was 1st to the stop waited until everyone else had gone. What a waste of time.

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