Does it bother you when a Jelly asks a good question but doesn't respond to posts?

Yes, when the question is posted in a way that will foster a dialogue, or when clarification is asked.

One doesn’t need to monitor a question for the next umpteen hours, but at least check in for the first couple hours to see if there are questions, especially if one posts a complicated or controversial one.

There are a handful of long time users who do this & leave the thread bereft of lurve too, looks & feels rather ugly, but doesn’t unduly bother me.

It doesn’t bother me, but I wish if they throw something out there it means enough to them to come back to it once in awhile. Or why bother asking?

@ucme Sometimes I will throw out a survey or discussion question and want to let it air a bit before chiming in, but in the case I’m thinking of, there were good responses to someone asking for help and clarification but nothing was offered.

I don’t get unduly bothered by anything much here any more unless I just feel like getting riled

@janbb You are not on the small list of “offenders” that I was thinking of.

@ucme Whew!

Most of my question are looking for peoples opinions so when they don’t respond yeah it bothers me too.

@janbb Is that what a penguin fart sounds like? I’d like to think it does…kinda

I am new to the collective and joined on Nov.20,2014. New people like me, may not know the proper etiquette for this site. If there are rules to follow then I am willing to follow them but need to know just exactly what they are because I don’t know. Also, I come and go to this site, because I have a job and a life outside of Fluther, so I am not constantly here. Also, I am not the kind of person who goes on and on about a subject, I say what I feel may be necessary and then it’s onto the next thing.

Though I (nearly) always write in the expectation that my words will be read, comprehended and acted upon in a helpful way, I realize that that is not always the case. (You should see my email “Sent” folder at work!)

So my fallback thought for the writing that I do (the self-interested part, since I really don’t do things “for free” as a rule) is that it helps me to clarify my own thought processes, my ideas about things in general, and to improve my own writing. It’s good, but could be better – just like me.

It doesn’t bother me because I’m often guilty of not responding to posts on my own questions. I ask many of my questions late at night just before I go to bed. I read all of the responses the next day and hand out lurve to everyone who answered, and I try to respond to specific questions that are asked, but I usually don’t have the time in the morning to respond when I read the responses. I feel bad about this because I don’t want everyone to think I’m not reading the responses. I try to send private messages or at least thank everyone at the end of the responses to let them know that I appreciate the time they took to respond.

We all have our own way of using this site. Just because someone does not respond to posts on their questions does not always mean that they did not read and appreciate the posts.

Well, I miss the dialogue, but I just shrug and move on.

Just to clarify, I’m not saying that I feel it is necessary to respond to each post in your own thread in any way. Just that there were two questions recently where the questions were good and the answers were good but the OP was asked for clarification and never came back to answer. It’s all fine, I don’t get my knickers in a twist – just find it odd.

@janbb I’ve asked questions on other sites and never returned to see what responses I received. There were times when I forgot what the site was or I just didn’t like the site in general, so I didn’t return.

I have been guilty of not returning questions… I am going over my 1000 questions and making updates and follow ups just in case someone is still following my questions.

I do get a little frustrated, but I always think of the threads as simply filling the internet with good answers. The advice may not have helped the OP, but it could be useful to someone else in a similar situation.

I’ve done it myself, too. About 90% of my fluthering is done using my mobile, and I hate to type out lenghtly responses on the tiny screen.

Especially as my perfectionism won’t let me ignore typos, repetitive language or formatting issues. Never mind the mods.

I know I’ve been guilty of not responding to some latter responses on questions. I might read them while busy and mean to come back to respond but then, life continues to be busy! I often do eventually get back there and hand out lurve and thanks.

I guess people can’t complain too much about how new people allocate lurve when there is such bias in the way long-term members dish out lurve to new members.

Truly don’t care about the lurve. Someone asked about overcoming a problem and when asked for more specifics, did not respond. Maybe they were too shy…

Sometimes I’m torn between just sitting there and watching the thread goes and responding to it and risking derailing the thread.

I find it annoying but that’s the internets.

It does bother me when people have given very thoughtful responses and there is just….dead air.

Like not receiving an acknowledgement from someone to whom you’ve given a gift, which I always find irritating.

@Pachy For me, it’s not really about gratitude or lurve – it’s more about wanting to know whether I was close to right. Should I chime in on similar questions in the future, or was I out of my depth?

Often, I will hold back some of my response in order to make sure I’m on topic. Perhaps I could leave five paragraphs, but I’ll leave only one, then reserve the rest until I have more information. Would it be more helpful to the OP to put everything out there in one shot, in case they never come back? I guess in some cases it would be – but we never know which cases until it’s too late.

I assume they’ve been kidnapped by aliens and are too busy being probed to reply.

@ragingloli could possible confirm this.

@dappled_leaves, it’s not about lurve or gratitude for me either. What I mean by “acknowledgement” is simply knowing the comment or gift was received. I think—and perhaps this is a generational thing—the receiver owes that to the giver.

In defense of new users though, I think it says somewhere in the guidelines that users are to refrain from chit chat and some sites are sticklers about guidelines. Like Yahoo! Answers for instance, where you can get into a big mess, if you chat. So.. maybe new people don’t know that you can come back and say thank you or add more information.

I don’t differentiate between users, old or new you’re all the same to me, regardless of the silly numbers next to your name.

@prairierose That is a point.

@janbb Thank you. Like I said I started using this site on Nov. 20, 2014 and just recently used my first cuss word and it was a nasty one. Sites like Yahoo! Answers would have suspended my account by now for “chatting” “non-answer” and “cussing” so I am just saying until a new jelly has used Fluther for a while, new jellies, don’t exactly know what they can or cannot do or what they should or shouldn’t do.

@prairierose I do think that when the OP is asked for clarification, it should be fairly clear that they can respond.

@janbb I think I know which question you may be referring to and yes I agree the OP may have dropped the ball so to speak. I am not making excuses, just throwing some reasons out there as to why some new jellies may not respond to asked for information. Or maybe the OP already received the answer they were looking for. Who knows?

Yup – I was basically raising this question to get a discussion going; not out of tremendous pique.

@prairierose How are new users supposed to find out there are unwritten laws here without asking? You probably helped out a lot of the new jellies. I want to give you a GA but I don’t want to spoil your lurve score.

I have been guilty in the past. If it is a question for which I am looking for a specific answer (for instance, a gardening or home improvement question), I usually follow up if clarification is needed. Sometimes I’ll ask a question just to get others’ thoughts, and with the specific intention of starting a conversation. I will usually try to get a concise question, with some added information in the details section. If it is successful in starting a conversation, I like to let it ride for a few days so most viewpoints can be expressed. I always usually follow up with requests for clarification.

@Adirondackwannabe How will giving me a GA spoil my lurve score? I am just new here please explain.

I’m curious too!

@prairierose I think @Adirondackwannabe was referring to a specific number (possibly “666”?).

@Yetanotheruser Oh okay that kind of makes sense. I really didn’t connect the dots. Thanks.

I must admit, I went through here to make sure @janbb had responded to the question.

@rojo And she did. But I also sometimes don’t jump in immediately if I want to start a discussions. It is more when the OP is asking for advice and then doesn’t respond to queries that I am questioning.

So wait…there was no alien abduction??

No. A good discussion doesn’t necessarily require the OP’s participation.

If I’m one of the first responders and I spend time nailing the answer, it pisses me off if the OP never returns.

We all want to feel like we help make a difference now and again.

I appreciate when the OP responds to questions, especially if their question presented a dilemma where more details are needed. Sometimes a new user comes on with a family issue or other relationship problem, and they may not put enough details to have the question answered effectively. It’s also nice when a bunch of various ideas are presented as answers and the OP comes back to say which of the answers they liked, which they may use or afterwards, which they used and how things turned out.

It is kind of irritating when users don’t come back to their own threads, especially if more clarification is needed. I fear that the reason some members don’t come back (or maybe they’re lurking, but not responding) is because they feel like they are being “interrogated” even if we just need to know some more details regarding their Q.

Most of you know I was reluctant to post my first Q, even though I’d been answering Q’s on the site for several years. That was the reason why. I was afraid that I’d have people demanding to make me prove myself or my reasoning, or that people would suggest that my premise was stupid or wrong.

I try to be very sensitive, especially to newer users, regarding asking for clarification. I will try to explain to them why I need clarification, while at the same time, trying not to to pry too far into their personal lives, and trying to avoid making their premises sound stupid.

If a newer user’s premise actually is stupid or wrong, but it seems heartfelt, I’ll usually avoid asking for clarification, even if I feel it is warranted, or I might not answer the Q at all and just observe.

Instead of asking a question because you don’t understand a question, how about just not commenting at all? I don’t ask questions if I don’t understand the question.

@Esteban1 In the example I am thinking of, that was not the situation. The question was clear and many of us gave good answers, but more specifics would have been useful. And the OP was asking for help with a situation.

And also – you do what you want to do and I’ll do what I want to do.

@Esteban1, perhaps people want to respond. They just need a little more information. Seems quite reasonable to me.

So, @Esteban1, if we don’t fully understand a question, we should just ignore it?

” I don’t ask questions if I don’t understand the question.”

Q&A&Q&A&Q&A?

That way you don’t have to worry about learning something new, @ibstubro, see?

@Esteban1 has left the building.

Another one bites the dust.

Although I don’t think he meant to be, he was essentially a troll here.

Este – ban

Nope. Sometimes that’s me. Sometimes I’m just too busy. Sometimes my question has drifted away from its intent, and the discussion that ensues is more fun to read than to take part in. We act as we will, and others respond as they will. But I’m so glad your passion for answering questions in a useful manner is so strong.

^^ So, you’ve never been abducted by aliens?

@cookieman If I’m ever abducted by aliens, I won’t be coming back.

@FireMadeFlesh: Shame. We would miss you.

@FireMadeFlesh Come to the States and you can be the alien you want to see!

^ Aw, thanks guys! But I could never turn down the opportunity to explore a completely new world. @janbb I’ll pop over to the States in a couple of years, when the stars align.