How long should I stay at my office holiday party?

I’d stay until after the food but once the band arrives and you can sneak away, do so. Nobody is likely to notice by then.

Our Christmas party was cancelled due to lack of interest :D Thank goodness. I hate work parties.

I agree. I would slip out when the band starts. Maybe you could engineer a way to come in a bit late too.

My dad is a huge introvert and doesn’t like crowds, but in order to not seem rude he’ll go and say hi to everyone there, maybe have a little chat, and then leave.

I would think an hour should be enough time to circulate and have the people who matter see that you are there.

Yeah – I’m moving my estimate down too. Maybe just make sure the important people see that you’re there and then slip out.

Thanks. Talking to people other than my coworkers makes me cringe.

^ I feel for you. Couldn’t you take someone you like?

6:30 to 6:45 works for me. Meet and greet the partners, the host, the social director, compliment whoever chose the food, say “Hi” several of your colleagues, sing one chorus of “I
Saw Mama Kissing Santa Claus (in a loud voice)...
and home you go.

I wouldn’t arrive before 6:30 if you hate parties. Unless you get nervous about finding a seat when tables are already half full. Then arrive at 6:15 and find a seat and let others worry about asking you if the seats next to you are taken.

I think you can cut out as early as 8:30 if you want to.

If you like to dance and don’t care too much about the food go from 7–9. I don’t know if shy includes not wanting to dance.

Edit: How many people will be there? 20? 400?

You can always say you have a conflict and not go. Or, say you have two parties that night and leave early. We almost always had two parties the same night in TN. My husbands work group and our car club. We went to one early and the other late. I think it’s better than seeming like you want to leave as fast as you can because you can’t stand being there.

I’m already here. I worked all day. It’s like a mandatory party.

@tinyfaery Surely, there’s an important brief you must stay and finish!

As the band rolls in and starts playing, you slip out discreetly and politely perhaps after one song is over. Surely they won’t force you to stay on!

Will attendance affect your employment?

If not, why bother going?

I blew off plenty of office parties and it never affected mine. However, I worked with and for people who were basically reasonable.

I belonged to a decent union (I’m guessing that you don’t), so perhaps that’s another reason that attendance at such frivolities was voluntary for us.

Help!!!!

If you’re on the ground floor, check the bathroom windows for possible escape routes. Otherwise, you left something in your car.. Sneak out the back of the place and steal a uniform and make a quick exit.

Not sure what day your party is (was) so I hope I’m not too late in answering this.

I think @gailcalled idea of 15 minutes is a bit short.

If I were you, I’d cut out of work with the excuse you have an errand to run (post office, bank, run to the store, even if it’s bullshit), and arrive at the party around 6:30 or 6:45. I would stay till 8, when the band comes. You’re there long enough to show your face, eat and show that you are a team player (which, in my opinion, is the minimum goal of office parties).

You don’t have to talk to people if you don’t want to. Just smile at them, your biggest smile, and say hi, how are you, happy holidays. Another thing I say a lot is “good to see you!” You could say any of those things at the same time you keep walking, so you make your point but don’t get forced into conversation if you’re not into it.

Show up with a sign around your necl that says, “I have laryngitis. Very happy holidays.”

^ Haha.

I made it. I had a drink so I was not so tense. I talked to a few coworkers. I left after the second song. I said bye to one person and I was out of there.

Now I’m exhausted. I fell like goo.

And no Christmas party ordeal until next year. I usually make sure I have a previous engagement for when the party is planned. So perhaps have your excuse ready.

Maybe next year try to look at it as just an extended work day with some free food. It sounds like it was right after work on a Thursday?

The work parties I’ve been to are usually Saturday or Sunday night, a whole separate event from the work day.

@tinyfaery: How long did you stay?

She left after the second song and it was right after work, so it sounds like she was there just over two hours.

I hope the food made it worth staying. Or maybe the drinks. Anyway, you stuck it out for quite awhile. That sounds plenty long to me.

I’m like you I hated office parties when I worked. If I were you I would stay until they serve the food and leave at about 9:00. Also don’t drink. you can get clear soda (like ginger ale) with a twist of lime in it and people will think you are having a drink.

I have seen so many co workers drink too much and make fools of themselves. Just remember you have to face these people in the office the following day.

Why do you have to look like you’re drinking? I don’t drink. I just don’t. So? I have water, coke, Sprite, why do I need to look like I am drinking?

@JLeslie “Why do you have to look like you’re drinking?”

Many times at office parties people shame you into having a drink. like: “Come on loosen up it’s Christmas here have a drink”. To avoid conversation about why you don’t want one just pretend you are having one.

Yes, that happens everywhere, not just office parties. When I was 15 I cared and lied about already drinking before the party or avoided situations where people expect others to drink. Then by college I didn’t give a damn what the alcoholics thought. I found most people really don’t care if I drink or not, that was peer pressure I created in my own head. The exception is those people who can’t stand to be drinking alone (usually alcoholics). I’m a lot of fun without alcohol, I don’t need to loosen up more. It’s an office party, I hope most people aren’t drinking or only having one. Drinking among all the bosses and coworkers is risky. There are bunches of people like me who don’t drink. It’s really not a big deal.

I hope most adults don’t feel pressured to drink. What do you tell your children? I saw my mom say, “no thank you, just a Coke please.” She didn’t try to fake it. That was a good example for me.

Doesn’t matter. The OP said she did have a drink, which is fine, she wanted one.

I survived. And I drink an alcoholic drink about 5 times a year.

It’s over. I’m back at work. Everyone was late and seems hungover.

@tinyfaery Good for you!