Do you see a benefit to having platonic friends of various sexes and genders?

Everyone, of course, has their own unique and individual insight and to offer, but I enjoy the larger differences in perspective that people with different experiences can offer.
I am a Caucasion woman, so the cultural and social perspectives offered by other races, sexes, ethinicities, genders, etc fascinates me.

Why wouldn’t you have platonic friends of both genders? Everyone brings something to the table.

Real friends of any sort are a benefit, and having some diversity in the friendships opens one to a variety of ideas and opinions and viewpoints.

I have close male friends, female friends, gay male friends, lesbian friends, even a few who resist being defined. They are all interesting.

@Adirondackwannabe Of course I would. I am feeling a particular lack of male friends at the moment; hence the question. I also have felt that some of my male friends in the past brought a certain amount of practical knowledge to the table that women may also have but sometimes don’t so there are certain problems I miss having guy friends to talk about.

Also, in some of my recent cross-sex friendships there was a misunderstanding on one side or the other what the expectations were.

I love having guy friends @janbb. I do think it’s good to be able to canvass a male perspective on things happening in our lives. Why do you think you have a lack of male friends in your life? I know when I was single again, I found single male friends invariably wanted to be more than friends. I would love to have had a guy friend to share a glass of wine with, see a movie with and the like but the taking things further thing usually reared its head and then the friendship was never quite the same. And I had incidences where the female members of couples, felt threatened by having a single woman around. I don’t think all women behave that way but I did experience it from more than one friend.

I just wondered why you’re finding you have a dearth of male friends. Not suggesting this is your experience.

Well, I had a best male friend for the past few years who dumped me over a profound misunderstanding. Because of that split, I have stayed away from some of the social activities where I might have made other friends. And I was just in a potential dating situation where there was miscommunication on both sides and it made sense for me to end it. I do still have some gay male friends but I don’t hang out with them as often. Also, my ex-BIL who had stayed a friend dumped me last year over some Thanksgiving unpleasantness. I have one male friend who is the husband of one of my women friends but we don’t hang out separately; I get together with her or them as a couple.

It sounds like you’ve been having a horrible time and that’s not really what you need. I hope you can resolve some of those misunderstandings.

@Earthbound_Misfit Not likely. It’s not been easy but other things that are good have been happening.

@janbb Ugh, sounds like you are on a rough roll. I don’t know what the answer is. I find some women want to go further than friends. It’s not an easy path to follow.

I think it’s beneficial to have friends of all genders. I have platonic male friends, but most are not close friends, just friends through work or school. We run into each other at work or on FB.

I can see an obstacle to becoming close friends to someone of the opposite sex would be if they were married, their spouse might not be too thrilled about it. At my age, most men are married so I wouldn’t expect to be hanging out with them.

I agree that it’s beneficial. I don’t make friends based on superficial criteria, but on how our personalities connect. I have definitely gained greater insight into issues by learning the perspective of those who approach the issue from a different direction than I.

As such, I feel that I have become far less critical of others, and less certain of my opinion on matters for which I can recognize that my position has a strong influence – whether that is a position of privilege (e.g. having higher education or having been born a white American) or a position of challenge (e.g. being female or being abused in childhood). My mind is more open and I can start examining situations from different angles based on what these diverse friends have shared with me.

One example is a few years ago, when we were out with friends of ours who are the same sex. As we waited for dinner, my fiancé reached for my hand the way we typically do – almost reflexively. Neither of our friends showed any reaction, but I became aware of the fact that they were not free to demonstrate their affection for each other, and they had already been a couple for over ten years! This was prior to the recent push to legalize same-sex marriage across the country, so hopefully it won’t be much longer that they feel pressured to withhold their affection for one another, but in that instant I recognized my privilege as a heterosexual to feel free to my partner’s hand.