What would you do if your 11 year old daughter stole $10,000 from her grandmother, then caught a cab to Florida to meet a boy?

Make her pay a goodly portion of any pocket money/or earned income to her grandmother until the debt is paid off and ensure that she understands that should her grandmother die before the debt is paid off, anything she might have been left would be reduced by $10,000.

Other than that, I’m not sure what you can do.

Kick her ass. Metaphorically, of course.

I would put my money in a more secure spot… 11 year old’s aren’t responsible for their actions at such a young age. The boy however better be a kid too or I would press luring charges. Edit he is 16 I would press charges and let the courts make sense of the situation I wouldn’t just take his word for it.

The hell they aren’t @talljasperman! And 11 year old knows full well that it is wrong to steal. I would MAKE her responsible for her actions.
Easy on the 16 year old though. No telling what she told him. If she can steal she can lie. Also, he said he had no idea of her plan.

It’s ridiculous the cab didn’t question it. Even if she was an adult, a cab ride to Florida!

She’s so young it’s hard to punish her. I would want to know how she reacted once her parents found out what she did.

I would make her pay at least some of the money back. Take away her computer and cell
phone access for a while. Make sure she apologizes to her grandma. Tell her if she ever steals another thing she is out of the house and in boarding school.

I would want to know why a 16 year old boy is talking to an 11 year old. Even if she lied about her age, no way an 11 year old can keep up with a 16 year old in an interesting way. What is that 5th or 6th grader?

Edit: How did she get a hold of $10k? Does her grandmother keep it under the mattress?

Hand the brat over to adoption.

I am not totally against a slap and some logical corporal punishment. I think if some kids are not afraid of their parents they go out of control. Spare the rod and spoil the child. Discuss the issue after a bit of a slap! Nothing ever happened to those who got a smack now and again!

It was in her Grandma’s dresser.

Lady needs a bank account.

@ZEPHYRA Any child who needs to be hit not to steel has something psychologically wrong with them. In fact, I am adding to my answer that the kid should be put in therapy.

Something is really wrong for such a young child to do this. Possibly the parents might be horrible, or the kid has some sort of real mental problem. I guess it’s also possible she is a normal child and just did a stupid thing, but most kids know $10k is a lot if money, and most kids would be afraid to travel so far alone.

@Dutchess_III If an 11 year old knows that it is wrong to steal then why did she steal.

@JLeslie “It’s ridiculous the cab didn’t question it. Even if she was an adult, a cab ride to Florida!”

Eh, the age is another matter, but aside from that I’ve met plenty of cabbies who’ve said as long as you can pay they’ll drive you anywhere in the US you want to go.

Just a reminder to Spay or Neuter your pets. :)

I’d say that was pretty right gross.

Get her early admission to a top quality private school.

The kid thinks creatively, she is a problem solver, she is fearless. My guess is that (unless they break her spirit!) she will be a great leader and a woman who accomplishes things later in life.

The way I see it, she was pretty damn smart for putting this altogether. Don’t punish her – encourage her creativity!

There is so much dysfunction in that story that one hardly knows where to begin:

1. Grandmother keeps $10,000 in cash in a sock drawer? Which an 11-year-old knows about? Think about that a minute: Since the largest denomination in US currency is the $100 bill, that’s 100 of those suckers, at least. So that’s an issue: Keeping that much cash in the house in the first place is inherently unsafe, but keeping it unsecured in a sock drawer is just stupid. I’d have a talk with Granny and teach her the basics of “attractive nuisance”. She set this up. (I would also be making plans to get my own hands on her money ASAP. See the next response for the reason why.)

2. An 11-year-old who would steal that much cash from her grandmother has been raised extraordinarily badly. If she were my daughter I might give her up for adoption or sell her into slavery while she still has some nominal cash value. (Hey, if I had raised a girl with such bad ethics, I’d be the type to consider those options.)

3. I would make plans to sue the cab company for two things:
a. Failure to check the child’s bona fides regarding her being of an age to contract for this trip. Someone ought to be aware of the applicability of the Mann Act to this case (and for those who don’t know, that’s the Federal law that makes it a felony to transport a minor across state lines for immoral purposes). Cab company managers should certainly be aware of how dangerous this is for their license, and for their drivers’ potential criminal records.
b. Taking a route through Atlanta. They were just gouging the girl: even a quick glance at Mapquest.com should have shown a much better route.

4. Sell the TV rights by the end of this week.

@elbanditoroso A positive answer. Turning Lemons into Lemonade. GA.

People are going to groan when I say this, BUT this is another reason why we didn’t have kids.

@talljasperman she did it, even though she knew it was wrong, for the same reason that fully grown adults do things they know are wrong, and they wind up in jail. In her case, I’m guessing she had a dysfunctional upbringing. That was pretty major for an 11 year old.

@SQUEEKY2 If you’d had kids, I seriously think they would have turned out great. This has to be a parenting malfunction. Or not. She just may be off her rocker.

@SQUEEKY2, most kids do not behave this way. This is pretty extreme and I’d say hormones were playing a big part in this situation. Reading the story, I can’t conclude the parents were negligent or guilty of poor parenting. They might be. However, their daughter might just be strong willed and reckless. Hopefully, she’ll retain the former and lose the latter trait.

When I was a teen I saw a huge lump of $2 bills in my dads customers house… I didn’t steal it.. . I gawked at it and moved on.

When I was 11 $20 dollars was a lot of money to me.

Question my parenting skills

I agree with everything @CWOTUS said.

I also think that there should be a discussion between some legal authorities and the cab company, at the very least that they take an 11 year old on a ride that far without a discussion with her parents or guardians. Also, a discussion should take place between some legal authorities, the parents of the 16 year old boy, and the 16 year old boy himself.

I’d say perhaps there would be a lawsuit against the cab company, and criminal charges against the cab company and maybe the boy, too. That’s speculation. Of course, it all depends on the details and the laws that may have been broken.

These kind of questions simply aren’t ones I can answer: There must have been all sorts of things wrong before. I would definitely wonder about my parenting skills.

I seriously disagee with @elbanditoroso. If she was so creative, she could have been creative without committing a crime. Anyone remember Bernie Madoff? And stealing IS a crime.

“She wore heavy make up & appeared to be 17 or 18”
Haha, or a midget clown fleeing the circus, c’mon!

@ucme I have an 11 year old grand daughter who is about 5’ 6”. Just a bit shorter than I am.

@Dutchess_III: It’s not only height that makes people look their age. An 11 year old girl, while she may be pretty, will never look like an 18 or 20 year old. Their head sizes are different, their faces are rounder, their teeth look different in their mouths.

When it comes to “pretty” most guys pretty much go brain dead. Besides, it as a $1,400 trip for him—in cash.

I agree with @jca and @Dutchess_III that 11 year girls look totally different than older teens and that men don’t necessarily see it.

How old?

Height has fuck all to do with it, unless you’re a complete idiot.

@ucme: I didn’t say height has nothing to do with it. I said height is not the only thing that makes people look their age.

@jca I wasn’t at all referring to anything you said, more to do with @Dutchess_III response to mine.
Of course, in reality its aimed at the dumb excuse the cab company came up with.

@ucme you’re the one who said
”“She wore heavy make up & appeared to be 17 or 18”
“Haha, or a midget clown fleeing the circus, c’mon!”

You assumed that 11 year olds are all short. I’m telling you they aren’t. My grand daughter is the tallest in her class so she is taller than average. However, she towers over my son’s wife, who is only 5’2”

Please don’t do that quote thing, it makes me vomit somewhat :D
I assumed nothing, my daughter is 5“11 at 15, has always been tall, but never looked older for it.
Height is a very poor factor in determining age.

So please clarify what you meant by “or a midget clown fleeing the circus.”

Haha, you might wanna focus more on correcting your ridiculous assertion that I thought all 11yr olds are short, humility never hurt anyone.

Well, lets get it cleared up. Explain what you meant then.

Oh, sorry guys. I posted the wrong pic above. I could see this girl passing as 16, and that’s with no make up on. Could you?

I think the point is more the cab driver driving someone a thousand miles (or however long it was) without verifying that it’s ok with a parent or guardian. If I were a cab driver, I would be thinking this is a little odd, this young girl just getting in my cab for this long ride. I would think the cab driver should be liable for something, as should the 16 year old kid who set this up and maybe had some kind of sexual relations with her.

The boy said he knew nothing of her plans. Plus she never made it to Florida. It’s very possible the cab driver thought she was 18. I really think it’s possible. With make up, especially heavy make up, I think she could.
I would find it odd for anyone to take a 1000 mile cab ride, but hey. What a killing on the fee. The fact that she had the cash may have thrown him. How many 11 year olds have that kind of money?

You see @Dutchess_III it’s like this, I would explain but I fear a part of me would die inside due to adhering to your vacuous request

Ok.

Ignorance of the law is not a defense.

If someone sells liquor to an underage person, they can’t then say “I didn’t know she was only 13. She looked 21.” This is no different.

But you are required to ask for ID when you sell liquor. You don’t have to ask for ID to give someone a ride in a cab. I don’t think it’s against the law for an underage kid to catch a cab.

This article says she met the boy two years ago, when she was only 9, and they had kept in touch all of this time. Sounds to me like the child is very precocious, and that’s not always good thing.

Well, if we go back to the beginning of the whole story, I am wondering why the grand-mother had $10,000 just laying around. Seems to me that amount of money would be safer in a bank. As the events unfolded, it seems to prove my point. None of the events would have happened if the cash had not been accessible.

My husband was watching Judge Judy today and Judge Judy didn’t believe the Plaintiff’s story, because part of the case had to do with the Plaintiff having $5k at her home that she had held onto for a while. I don’t know the whole story, but I thought if this Q and how it is possible someone might have thousands lying around.

The Fluther answer Give her a time out.

The actual answer I would redacted, and when done she will not do that again unless she wants to stand all the way to Florida.

I think some sounselling is in order.That child is already on the wrong path in life.
At counselling it can be determined what is required for restitution.
She should take responibility for her actions and pay some or all of it back when she is ready and able to work fulltime.
She can make payments until all paid back.
Some old people distrust banks and hide money in the house.Could be in this case, who knows?
It is shamefull when relatives steal from each other.

I’m guessing that the grandma got the majority of it back. From what I gathered, all she spent was the $1,400 on the cab fare…and I’m betting they got that back as well, because the cabby showed some poor judgement!