Would you be offended if a friend of the opposite sex wouldn't want to sleep with you?

If he and I had been knowing each other for a long time and had a mutual relationship then I would feel normal.

Otherwise, I would be offended if he wanted to sleep with me.

Something needs clarification here.

Did he say that you are a “trickster” or is this a descriptive statement which you are making about yourself.

If it’s your description could you please explain more precisely what you mean by that. It can be taken a number of ways.

And, no, I wouldn’t be at all offended. As an adult you come to realize that it’s not all about the sex, even in a romantic relationship. It’s a part of the whole.

But if I were to be offended by every male friend of mine who’s mature enough to be able to value me as a friend apart from sex, I’d be pretty ridiculous indeed.

That’s why they’re called “Platonic relationships”.

Nobody owes sex to anyone else, or has the right to sex with anyone else. Being offended implies that they wronged you or they were unfair to you in some way. That’s not the case.

Of course not.

No, I wouldn’t.

No, in fact if a friend wanted to sleep with me, whatever their gender, I’m not sure I would want to know about this unless they fell in love with me. And even then I would hope that the first thing about such a revelation wouldn’t be a desire to bang me.
Well nah I denno, but I do know I wouldn’t be offended. This can be complicated in a lot of ways for different reasons I guess, but I certainly don’t expect every single person to be attracted to me.

Huh?? Your definition of “friendship” is unusual.

What does trickster mean? Are you a trickster?

I wouldn’t be offended if a friend didn’t want to have sex. I might have my feelings hurt if they thought I was a bad person in some way and I wasn’t.

I never slept with friends, so that isn’t even really on my radar.

I’d be amazed, but never offended, no cause to.

Oh, good grief, don’t fall for that one. Clearly he’s gotten in your head, so you have to wonder what his motivation is…

Would I be offended? I’d have to wonder how such a conversation would have come up to begin with. Typically you don’t have these conversations, you just maintain a friendship and it’s understood, which is why I’d be suspicious of the motive to begin with. So, accept his rejection and see if he doesn’t try a different angle. If he doesn’t then there you have it, he’s just not that into you, you’ll be fine, life will go on. Good luck.

I wouldn’t be offended if they didn’t want to sleep with me but I would be offended if they called me a ‘trickster’ and I would want to know just what they meant by that.

Sleeping with a “friend” can be a little deceptive. It depends on the nature of the friendship. Assuming that it’s a good, selfless friendship I think that would either poison the friendship or turn into a long-term relationship.

Nope. It’s fine. I would wonder about the word “trickster” though. I’d look in the mirror for the answer to that part.

Absolutely not. Sex does not define my life. I would rather spend the time with that friend doing activities, watching movies, playing video games, going for walks, whatever activities he enjoys.

I think the moment we need sex to define a relationship, there is a problem with that relationship :)

This includes romantic relationships.

The way to spoil a good Platonic friendship is to try to force it into a sexual/romantic relationship.

As I think about this question and analyze (maybe over analyze) what it says, it makes me serious wonder if the OP uses sex for the wrong reasons. She wants to have sex with a friend and has been accused of being trickster. Makes me think maybe the OP is using sex for the wrong reasons. To feel in control, ego, and to ease feelings of insecurity.

@JLeslie Yes, I agree.

Sex has a way of messing things up. You can say you want to just do it casually and it does not really mean anything, but at some point it is likely that someone is going to become jealous or expect more and you end up jeopardizing your friendship. Long term friendships are difficult to maintain, especially with someone of the opposite sex. Hold onto this one and appreciate it for what it is. The phrase “just friends”, which some people use, really irks me, because it discounts the importance of friendship.

If every male I was friends with thought they could be able to have sex with me, I would find that more offensive.

A trickster? Does that mean he thinks you have sex with a lot of partners? If so, maybe he doesn’t want to catch a sexually transmitted disease.

Might a trickster mean someone who turns a lot of tricks?

I am not sure what you mean about being a trickster, if you lie in order to get sex, and come onto a friend and he said no, then I might feel a form of rejection from that friend. Some women do only want sex, no strings attached, prostitutes do it all of the time. Sex is after all a physical need not to mention a way to relieve sexual urges. If the friend is married though, that might be the reason to say no to you and understanding that reason puts a whole different slant on the situation.

If the OP could come back and clarify, that would be much appreciated.

A trickster? Are you Loki, the God of mischief?

Being attractive means all men should want to have sex with you? Wow.

@cookieman: And the native Americans had their trickster god, Coyote.

And the Japanese have one – let me see if I can find it.

Here’s a list of tricksters from several cultures.

I don’t the the OP’s native language is English and wonder if the friend meant something like a flirt or cockteaser.

Edit: “think the”

And as is often the case, it would be nice if the OP would come back to the thread and elucidate.

@janbb At the office they used the word “Abesada” to describe a certain kind of woman. It comes from the name Sada Abe (in English order).

She erotically asphyxiated her lover, Kichizo Ishida and then cut off his penis and testicles and carried them around in her handbag.
She was quite attractive to Japanese men.

^That purse would be reeking in a few days.

No. You should only sleep with A girlfriend or A boyfriend, not just any old friend(s).

Google’s definition is

noun
noun: trickster; plural noun: tricksters

a person who cheats or deceives people.
synonyms: swindler, cheat, fraud, fraudster, defrauder, confidence man;

I really hope that’s not what the OP meant.

@LuckyGuy There are many things about Japanese culture I will never understand.

I would imagine a life of unending depression for anyone readily offended by lack of sexual interest in them on the part of their friends. But then again, I suppose there are as many varying definitions for “friendship” as there are personalities of “friends” one can list. Reflecting on this question leads to tricky alleys of introspection too dizzying for me to travel. For example , what are the chances of “unfriendly” sex?

Not at all. It would be way too weird to have sex with a friend.

My friend thinks I am a trickster – I manipulate people in order to get something. A ‘feeling’, a ‘tension’, whatever it is. Its often about winning. He doesn’t want to be that guy.

@dopeguru I’m not sure any guy will want to be “that guy.” Get your shit together.

@dopeguru Is he correct in his perception? It does certainly seem like you need to take a good look at yourself from some of your questions on here.

@livelaughlove21 @janbb No. My problem is that I am awful at choosing potential boyfriends. I unconsciously look for whoever will give me pain, and whoever I don’t understand or relate to fully.

I don’t know why that is yet entirely but I’m working on it. So I may have trickster thoughts after I’m horribly betrayed or heart broken, but I dont ever act on any. He is just a good friend so he hears about them all the time :) Hence he labeled me as a trickster.

@dopeguru , I think you will like this song

@dopeguru

Find a good therapist and make a commitment to stick with it until you can get a better handle on your issues.

Yes, it will be uncomfortable at first but if you get a decent therapist, they will push you a little to get to that place of facing yourself so that growth can begin. You will not regret it.

Or you can keep going round in confused circles. Your choice.

@dopeguru As others have said here, no one owes you sex for being pretty or for any other reason. So, no. There is no reason to be offended.

From everything you’ve said on this thread, and on some others, you just sound very, very young. My advice to you is to stop having sex for a while if you can’t seem to understand why you want it. Sort yourself out before making yourself vulnerable to others and to your own unacknowledged motives.

@dopeguru if you keep on choosing the wrong guys, then you aren’t ready for any kind of relationship, especially if it is just sexual, that’s when you hurt yourself more. Go talk to someone, don’t see it as there is something wrong with you, just go sort out your emotions with someone that knows how to help you. Once you are healed, try again, and then only will you be able to find a healthy relationship. What you are doing now is destructive.