How do you explain "funny" to a very serious and literal seven-year-old?
My son had a sense of humor by the age of 4. That’s when he told his first joke. But my 7 year old grandson has 0 sense of humor. He doesn’t even have the imagination most kids have.
Yesterday we were playing knock knock jokes. He tried making up his own but they fell flat. They were like, “Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Cow.”
“Cow who?”
“Cow how pow. FLYING COW!!”
Then I played the knock knock joke that comes out with “Little Old Lady Who?”
“I didn’t know you could yodel!”
Then my son did the “Banana, banana, banana, banana, orange” one.
So now he wants me to explain “funny” to him. What makes somethings funny and some not?
Help me out here!
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son: Hey dad, want to hear a joke?
dad: Sure, son.
son: Sex.
dad. I don’t get it.
son: I know you don’t.
Come on, that was funny! The finest of american ‘humour’.
Well, it’s not like I’m not going to repeat it! To my husband first! LOLL! In fact, I think I’ll put it on facebook!
Funny is anything that makes someone laugh. If his sister laughs when someone puts clothes on the cat, that’s funny. If his mother laughs when the lady on the tv show is pressed up against the wall by a giant loaf of baking bread (I Love Lucy episode), that’s funny. If his father laughs when the baby kisses the dog, that’s funny. If he laughs when someone tickles him, that’s funny.
You could show him a guy getting hit in the groin with something. I’m sure most women will say why is that funny, and most males will get it. As long as it’s not ours, it’s funny.
Except that you don’t want him to think that hitting people in the groin is a funny thing to do.
OMG, I didn’t want to make him think that. Imagine the little guy going around punching strangers in the nuts. I meant showing him accidental shots.
He wants the mechanics of it tho! Also, as you said, I have to be very careful about what I laugh at around him. I showed him this, and I think it was a mistake to do so. Early on I quickly edited my laughs to “Oh, ouch! But he’s OK.”
I don’t think I’ve ever really heard him laugh at anything on his own. He laughs a fakey laugh when other people are laughing, then wants to know what is so funny. It’s really odd.
He mimics because he’s on this different plane than most people. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like he’s trying to figure out what “normal” is. Sometimes it is highly annoying, like when he mimics what the baby is doing because people are laughing at her, and he doesn’t understand why it isn’t funny when he does it.
I don’t have a lot of experience with kids who have never laughed.
All I can think about is trying to explain humor to Data or Sheldon.
Me either. Or kids with no imaginations.
Here’s what I’m up against. Sometimes he’ll ask really stupid questions that he already knows the answer to, just to do it. Yesterday, after he asked me some inane question I said, “OK, from now on when you ask me a silly question, if my answer involves cows, then that’s how you will know that it was a silly question and you shouldn’t have asked it.”
It all started when I was wiping the high chair down. He wandered up to me and says, “What are you doing?”
I said, “I’m milking a cow.”
He paused, then said, “How do you milk a cow?”
I said, “By yanking on things.”
“What does a cow look like?”
“Looks like a high chair only a cow.”
He didn’t know what to say to that!
Where it went from there:
So I was dusting the ceiling fan. He said, “Why are you dusting the ceiling fan?” (After seeing tons of dust coming off of it.)
“Because it has cows on it,” I replied.
Opened up a cat video. There is a cat. “Is that a cat?”
“No, it’s a cow.”
“Where is Zoey’s ball?” (Which he had just picked up and was holding in his hand.)
“It’s in the cow.”
Then today he asked me what I used some oddly shaped plastic containers for. I said “I put food in them.”
He said, “Boobs?”
I didn’t say anything, then he goes, “I know. Cows.”
I started laughing…and he wanted to know why I was laughing. What was so funny?
Yes @JLeslie! That’s exactly what it’s like! I think he’s probably a genius, just really good at acting stupid for attention.
Hey, but I ALMOST got him! I hollered up the stairs for Rick to call my phone because I couldn’t find it. My grandson was right there when I did it. Rick called, I found my phone, and composed a short text.
Jayden says, “Did Rick call your phone?”
I said, “No, a cow did.”
“A cow called your phone?”
“Yes.”
“How can a cow call your phone?”
I said, “Just a minute until I finish this text.” However, I had finished the text and was actually doing something else….changing Rick’s name to Cow.
Then I showed him my Missed Calls options, opened it up….And pointed to the first missed call. I let him read it himself….and his mouth dropped open and his eyes got wide! I ALMOST HAD HIM!! But then he insisted on me telling him how it happened, so I did.
Oh…but I’ll have to prep him with the Not Exactly Rocket Science somehow first so he has a context to put it in.
He sounds a lot like I was as a child. I’m just not a joke or storyteller, but I still have an imagination and I do find things funny. I am often the last to laugh, and it is often fake because I think the joke is lame but I want to fit in.
I know this doesn’t answer your question, but I thought it was important to share my story so you don’t think he doesn’t have an imagination. He just uses it differently.
Perhaps he’s just a reserved sort of kid. Does he have to conform to how you think he should be? Perhaps just accept him for who he is? As long as there’s no developmental reason for why he’s showing a lack of humour, let him be him.
In addition, making up non-funny jokes, in my experience, is fairly normal kid behaviour.
What do you mean? He’s the one that wants funny explained to him. That’s what I’m trying to do here. I’m not trying to change him, and I guess I don’t get where you thought I was.
The only time I correct him is when he is being annoying as hell. Other than that, he’s a good kid.
The way you described his behaviour suggests it’s unusual or not quite right. Perhaps he’s picking up on that and that’s why he mimics being funny or thinks it’s something he should understand. We’re all different. We don’t all find the same things funny. Some people are very serious and rarely smile or laugh. What you suggest as being funny, may never seem that way to him. By trying to show him your impression (or anyone else’s impression of funny) you may just highlight that he is different. It sounds to me like he’s trying to fit and to conform so he is more like his siblings.
Gotta say, the cow one made me laugh. I remember one my niece told when she was 5…
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Jessica.
Jessica who?
Jessica who opens the door with a key.
Still makes me smile. She didn’t lack a sense of humor; she was just a kid. Give him a break.
A bunch of years ago there was a 60 Minutes interview with Robin Williams and Jonathon Winters together. It might be beyond him right now, I don’t know him, but that was an amazing comedic experience. RIP guys.
What makes a joke funny is that the ending, or punchline, is unexpected from any logical thought. So Banana Banana Orange is funny because the audience is thinking “fruit” and th
e punchline is a bad pun on a homonym.
Same with flying cows, one expects something else and the non sense unexpected answer is flying cows.
Well, I can see the Fluther tide turning. I wish you guys wouldn’t do that.
I described his behavior, @Earthbound_Misfit. If you are interpreting it as unusual or not quite right, that’s on you. He is who he is.
I’m just trying to help him get an answer to HIS question, and these responses (before they started getting nasty) have given me some ideas. Some folks find some things funny and some don’t. It’s that simple.
Easy Everybody, It’s New Years eve, let’s keep it light. Let’s start the New Year right.
I think the kid is just too young to comprehend the kind of joke you made. And he made non-funny jokes because he thought it was funny. I have seen lots of kids who make really lame jokes and claimed they are funny, while they don’t laugh at adults’ much funnier jokes. Things may improve when he’s older.
Thank you @Adirondackwannabe.
@Mimishu1995 I am not criticizing the kid for not getting our jokes. For the last couple of days he has been trying to get me to pin point why I think certain things are funny. Earlier today Rick, Jayden and I were watching Funny Cat compilations on Youtube. When we laughed he’d fake laugh and say, “So that was really funny, right? Why was that so funny?” How do I explain this to him? That is why I asked this question.
And I know kids make lame jokes. Trust me. I know this.
@Dutchess_III: My impression from what @Earthbound_Misfit wrote was not that she was saying his behavior is unusual or not quite right. She’s saying you describe it making it sound like you think it’s unusual or not quite right, and he’s picking up on that. I didn’t see any nasty responses. I think you are misinterpreting what she wrote, and maybe she’s misunderstanding what you are describing, or maybe she is not.
@Dutchess_III I find it difficult to make a general explanation on what make things funny. I need a specific joke to explain. And sorry I can’t explain why the knock knock joke is funny because I myself don’t understand it either :p
And I don’t want to criticize the kid, but he also needs certain knowledge about what you try to explain to him. You explain to him, but he doesn’t get it, then it’s useless.
I had the same impression as @Earthbound. (What @jca said)
Can you give me an example of something I said that made it sound like I was saying his behavior is odd?
Wait. I remember saying that the fact that I’ve never heard him spontaneously laugh all on his own was kind of odd, and I think it is. But, from what @jonsblond, maybe it isn’t. I’m just used to a lot of laughter in my households.
So, was there anything else?
^I have quesadillas to flip. I’ll go back and look when I get a chance. :)
@Dutchess_III, you said “My son had a sense of humor by the age of 4. That’s when he told his first joke. But my 7 year old grandson has 0 sense of humor. He doesn’t even have the imagination most kids have.” You’ve just set him up as different. Not the same as your son or even most other kids. You weren’t aware that you were doing this here, so perhaps you’re unconsciously doing this with him. Why is he questioning what is funny or why he isn’t funny? Why is he even concerned about this? Where is this idea coming from?
As to what’s funny, perhaps try to make him feel more at ease with who he is. That he has his own sense of humour and that’s okay. If he really wants answers, you could turn it around and ask him what HE finds funny. What you find funny may not be remotely amusing to him. Similarly, what anyone else here thinks is funny is likely to be unappealing to a seven-year-old. So if he’s really concerned about it, put the focus on him and helping him to identify what he thinks is funny rather than trying to fit with everyone else and their perception of ‘funny’. If he’s mimicking other people, it really sounds like he feels different and is trying to conform.
My son used to make up jokes when he was little. They were rarely very funny. He’s quite the comedian now.
If he is by nature a very serious and literal type of child, perhaps the best you can to is to try to explain how individualized humor is.
While there are “popular” comedies which are appreciated by a lot of people, there will always be some who just don’t get it. They aren’t wrong. they just see things differently.
Humor is one of those areas where there just isn’t any clearly defined right and wrong. That’s why some people villified Joan Rivers for some of the subjects she tackled while others viewed her as a brave pioneer going boldly where few dared to tread.
Perhaps he’s the type of kid who will grow up to discover a universal cure for cancer. With people like that, do we really want them to be wasting their time reading Mad magazine?
It sounds like he might grow up to be a fantastic scientist who has the patience and literal mindedness to keep slogging away at all of the repetitious trials and experiments that have to be repeatedly done in order to get a final result.
Most of us would find that mind-numbingly boring but those with a more literal mindset thrive on that type of stuff (much to the benefit of the rest of us).
But the literal minded types are unlikely to be writing comedy screenplays like Mel Brooks.
Regardless of whether he ever develops much of a typical sense of humor or not, the world needs minds like his as much as it needs creative types. Someone has to deal with the serious issues and challenges of life. He is who he is and he’ll find his own unique little niche.
Perhaps the best you can do in trying to explain humor to him is letting him know how individualized it is. Not everybody laughs at the same stuff and that’s perfectly OK.
And that’s not a cop out at all. It is just the truth of the matter. Humor really is quite ephemeral. And it’s not such a bad thing for a literal minded kid to realize that there are just some things in life which are beyond easy grasp.
You can’t explain funny. You either get it or you don’t.
I’m just thinking that probably some of humor is learned and some is innate.
He might not laugh at a certain joke, but you can explain to him why you find it funny if he wants to know.
One of the funniest people I know is kind of in the category of Seinfield. He just talks about things in life and it is hysterical to me. His wife doesn’t laugh as much. The guy isn’t even trying to be funny, it’s just how he thinks and talks. My father and I are in stitches around him.
Part of understanding humor is a frame of reference. Children have much fewer frames of reference than adults. As he gets older he probably wil understand jokes more.
Also, don’t let your love of humor and ability for it make you think that the person with less ability for humor necessarily is less happy. Sometimes I get frustrated that my husband doesn’t see funny things where I do. I can see more readily in a moment when something gets screwed up how funny that is going to be in the future. Like the sucky ridiculousness will be a good story. However, he often comes up with incredibly funny things. His humor is more dry than mine. His brother is the same. I think part of that is cultural and part personality.
“Ding-Dong”
“Stop it with the fucking doorbell, they’re knock knock jokes you bloody idiot”
@Earthbound_Misfit I have no idea where the questioning comes from, except it’s his nature to question every thing. To death! And I completely agree with your assessment that what is funny to someone else may not be funny to him, and that’s OK. That’s the the biggest thing I took away from everyone’s answers, to be sure to let him know that that is OK. To forestall the Fluther Monster, I have never told him, or implied it wasn’t OK if he didn’t find something funny.
My son had a sense of humor at 4 because funny was held at a premium in my house, and in the house I grew up in. I don’t think Jayden encountered glee until he was 4 and his mom and my son got together.
@JLeslie it’s really difficult to explain why something is funny. A cat gets wrapped up like a present. How does one explain why that is funny? I mean, by the time you’re done explaining, it isn’t funny any more.
Also, I mentioned my son telling his first joke at the age of 4 because if it wasn’t for that I honestly wouldn’t know if a kid could even have a sense of humor until they got older. I don’t remember my other two kids displaying anything particularly funny until they were older.
@Adirondackwannabe I saw that Jonathan Winters / Robin Williams episode! OMG! “A mime is a terrible thing to waste!” I thought Winters was going to lose it! I know I did!
I don’t think wrapping the cat is funny.
I do! I can’t believe the cat just sat there and let it happen. I can only imagine trying to wrap my cat up. I’d be bleeding profusely!
I was amazed the cat stayed still too.
I don’t find it all that funny either. Cute, sure, but I didn’t laugh.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Jehovahs Witnessessessessessess
Fuck off ya stuttering bastards
I laugh every time I see the Wrapping-the-cat vidoe. And someone sends it to me every year.Milo finds it mean and cruel.
I don’t think anyone has been able to define or explicste humor. it is alleged that Aristotle tried (as the converse of his “Theory of Tragedy” and the manuscript was lost.(Read The Name of the Rose). Woody Allen tried also, I believe, but I cannot find it.
How not to wrap a cat or Christmas.
Did you mean “explicate”?
Heh! My two year old grand daughter played a “joke” on me. Her twin bro had the awfullest diaper ever. It was quite an ordeal, getting him cleaned up with no collateral damage. It didn’t help that sister decided to take that time to bring me presents and she also tried to hypnotize me. But I made it through, albeit dramatically.
About 5 minutes later she says, “Me poopy diaper!”
I said, “Are you serious?” I wasn’t recovered from the most recent poopy diaper.
She nodded that yes, she was serious.
I checked her then said, “You are not poopy, you booger! You’re not even wet!”
She just gave me a big old grin like, “Gotcha!”
Rick and I found a movie Jayden might like. It’s called Firehouse Dog. It’s full of juvenile “jokes” that I don’t find in the least bit funny, but my husband does, so Jayden may too.
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