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Heather13's avatar

How do I deal with this teen?

Asked by Heather13 (495points) January 9th, 2015

I just turned 31. There is a young man in my volunteer group that I’ve known since his birth. I knew his parents when I was about 13. I am 13 years older than this young man. I have not seen them for 7 years until over a year ago. He is about 17 or 18 now. Anyway, since I’ve returned, he has been staring at me (with a serious look) and behaving rather strange around me. Without looking too much into it, he acts like a person with a crush. Everytime I am around, he’s distracted from whats going on by keeping his eyes fixed on me. But of course, I have no interest in this child. And he speaks down to me as though he thinks I am one of his peers. (I am told I look aroundage 22). A couple nights ago, he had the opportunity to arrange the microphone for me to give my presentation in our volunteer Group. Low and behold, my microphone sound was turned off, and I was completely humiliated in front if the group. Especially so after he handed me another one that was also not working. Afterwards, he said sorry while laughing and asked me if not hearing my voice in the microphone made me nervous. When I responded yes, he said sorry while laughing. A few people said he sabotaged the sound system. What do you make of this situation? And how can I handle it maturely?

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9 Answers

zenvelo's avatar

I don;t think the error with the microphone is related to his crush. And his reaction to the error sounds like common crush type nervousness at messing up.

As for dealing with the crush, it may go on for a while, but don’t confront him and don’t encourage it. Be as neutral yet polite as possible with him.

Are you seeing anyone? Even if you aren’t, a few side comments in a larger group referring to “a boyfriend” may discourage him. Or it may not. Worth a try though.

zenvelo (39545points)“Great Answer” (3points) Flag as…
Heather13's avatar

@zenvelo unfortunitely, he is aware that I am single. I do try to keep my distance. He’s making me uncomfortable. I do not feel comfortable speaking with his parents, especially his mother about it. She’s not a nice person, and turns up her nose at me.

Heather13 (495points)“Great Answer” (1points) Flag as…
susanc's avatar

I agree with @zenvelo – you’re in charge of the boundary, he’s not capable. He can’t help
the inopportune crush, and he doesn’t know what to do, but he’ll get over it. I don’t think you
can help him with it. Hard to watch, but just do that, kindly.

susanc (16144points)“Great Answer” (3points) Flag as…
Heather13's avatar

@susanc sounds practical. Thank you

Heather13 (495points)“Great Answer” (0points) Flag as…
johnpowell's avatar

I would just find a friend (either gender should work) and have them give you a kiss and toss in some hand-holding when you know he can see it.Being taken might be enough for him to back off.

And I was his age and your body is a total mess. I wouldn’t be that mad. Boys are just stupid.

johnpowell (17881points)“Great Answer” (4points) Flag as…
Buttonstc's avatar

17–18 yr. old boys are basically hormones with feet.

Just continue to be nothing but polite and professional toward him.

The ruse suggested might work. It’s worth a try at least.

But you’re the adult here and you just have to keep acting like one. Not much else to do.

Buttonstc (27605points)“Great Answer” (1points) Flag as…
ucme's avatar

Stick out your little finger & wiggle it in his direction, the only crush he’ll feel after that is devastation.

ucme (50047points)“Great Answer” (0points) Flag as…
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