Is there anything more selfless than adoption?

So, you are asking about people giving up their baby for adoption right? Not the people doing the adopting?

I think it is almost always extremely difficult to give up a baby. I think sometimes it is completely selfless, but also sometimes the woman or girl or parents see the baby as an obstacle to their own desires in their own future.

I don’t think every time a 16 year old gives up a baby it’s wholly because she wants a better life for the baby. It’s a mixture of reasons and emotions.

I don’t know how people do it. I can’t imagine it. It has to be heart wrenching in a way hard to imagine unless you have been through it. I would go insane not knowing how my child is every day.

Perhaps foster parents. People who take children, often who are exhibiting emotional, physical or other challenges, and look after them for either a short or long period of time. Any financial reward in terms of a payment from the government is minimal and my understanding is foster parents may have to negotiate interaction with the child’s birth family as well as looking after the child.

I don’t think I’d be able to make the commitment and sacrifice foster parents do.

I’m not sure if giving a baby away is always selfless. It depends on the reason behind it. “I don’t want a kid tying me down” vs. “I want my baby to have a better life than I can give it.” I don’t think either is completely selfless, even if it’s the best decision.

I honestly believe that there’s no such thing as a completely selfless act.

All I can think about is when a girl or woman turns up pregnant and she regrets it and wishes she wasn’t, the first thoughts are about how it is going to change her own life, not the baby’s. I think the parents of pregnant teens also are worried about their own teen baby initially.

There is no question in my mind that some people are conditioned to consider giving up their child if they become mistakenly pregnant. Growing up that was a Catholic thing, and I perceived it as the girls being forced to do it without much choice.

there’s no such thing as a completely selfless act. great point @livelaughlove21
I’ve heard people agree to donate part of their bodies to those who are sick and need them. That’s the first thing coming to mind.

Perhaps giving of one’s life to save another.

As someone who was raped at 15 and gave birth (as a result) at 16… I think it was pretty selfless for me to keep my baby and become the parent who could provide for him. Sure, I relied on the support and help of my parents for a few years while I was working and going to school. But by the time I was 21, I was living on my own (in a house I purchased), had completed my bachelor’s degree and was working. I also ate vegetables and conquered my depression/PTSD so that I could be a better example to my son… and practically gave up my adolescence (and money). And since there are no tax breaks or college tuition assistance for former single, teen parents who didn’t rely on public money and have educated/worked their way into middle class but have never been able to put money into savings, I’m now figuring out how to pay my son’s college tuition as well.

I thought long and hard about adoption… but for me, the better (and more selfless) choice was to raise my son myself.

My kid (now adult) is a pretty damn good human being too.

@Cupcake You are an amazing mother. I respect you.
Making a decision about letting the baby come to this world and nurturing it is always a brave choice under all circumstances.
So amazing to manage to purchase your own house at 21..WOW. I’m 21 and I can’t even imagine,

@wsxwh111 It was a mess of a house and not in the best neighborhood… but it did us well.

I think most people make choices based on a multiplicity of reasons which cannot necessarily be evaluated from the outside.

@janbb You bet.