How to handle it when your two year olds act up in public every time you go out?

What I would try is to give them something to do. Have them “write” a shopping list beforehand, ask them to help choose one item over the other, discuss what they think you need at home, ask them to sort the items you buy into shopping bags.

Yes, this would take some time and planning. It’s worked for me before, though.

I would try to avoid bringing them out, if possible, until this stage is over (6 months?). I would try to have you or someone else babysit and go shopping solo, if I were her.

First example, they’re probably protesting the fact that they’re at Walmart.~

Second example, we always have a busy pack and snacks when we go out to restaurants. A little notepad, some markers and stickers. Usually does the trick.

Sometimes we combo the snack and activity. Jam a coffee stir stick into a Fruit Loops box and have them work on their motor skills while they munch.

Hm. These were some good ideas. Oh, you gave me a wonderful idea for their birthday next Saturday! I’ll buy a big pack of stickers and some crayons and other stuff, and get a 2 little back packs or boxes or something, and and call it an emergency pack!

Poor daughter. The evil girl twin slung some mac n cheese and it landed in some lady’s hair. My daughter turned around to apologize and the lady snarled, “You need to control your kids better.” My daughter was seriously almost in tears, because she is a good mother.
But as she was leaving another lady came up and said, “I had twins. I know what it’s like. Don’t pay any attention to the clueless.”

I guess they just feed off of each other. It has to be so much more difficult with two.

I know plenty of good parents who have crazy ass kids. And some less than excellent parents that won the kid lottery. Parenting doesn’t always correlate to kids’ behavior. Just gives you a better edge to deal with what you’re dealt.

And twins are a whole different ballgame.
Whenever I see parents of twins out in public, I just want to give them a high five.

More tips for eating out. Try going during off hours when it’s less crowded. Or to a place that’s already pretty loud. We usually try to find a corner booth or table. And put the kids on the side that doesn’t share a seat with another diner. We’ve had some close calls with the flying Mac and cheese. Luckily my husband has good reflexes. ;)

Good luck!

Always have a plan B and be ready to abandon Plan A if and when the kiddies break bad. It sucks to have to not get done what you set out to do because of belligerent tired, hungry bratty kids but it beats having to participate in a spectacle in public. We used to have a stash of toys and snacks to use in these moments of crisis that normally would defuse the situation….but if all was lost by their outburst….back in the car and head home for some serious time outs.

Many moons ago (he’s 19 now) my normally level grandson went into melt down because we didn’t have the money to rent a Barny movie. The other kids were still in the store so I took my grandson out side and we set on a bench in front of the store so he could get it all out. He was just crying “Barney! Barney!” He’d reach his arms out to complete strangers and with beseeching eyes he’d cry “Barney!” to them.
They were looking at me strangely, which made no sense. I wasn’t out there crying “Val Kilmer! Val Kilmer!”

If having some things with her to occupy them doesn’t work, I’d go with @jca‘s suggestion and only take them out when it’s essential. Just until they get beyond this stage. My son was a shocker for a period of time. He would escape from his stroller and take off as fast as his little legs could carry him. I’d have to leave my shopping, bags and race after him. I stopped taking him out for a few weeks and then he was past that silliness and things settled down.

I feel for your daughter.

I often feel like one big problem is that people have unrealilstic expectations of kids. Little kids, toddlers, are not going to sit for an hour in a restaurant while everyone eats. Little kids don’t want to be strapped in a shopping cart while mom shops. They want to get out and run. Another idea is have someone along for the shopping, so that one person (your daughter) can shop while the other person takes the kid(s) walking around the store, exploring, looking at stuff. Or in a restaurant, one person takes the kid(s) and walks around with them for a bit, or if it’s not too cold, that person can take them into the lobby or something for a little diversion.

I see kids in stores, strapped in carts, screaming ,and the parents get all nutty, and it’s like of course the kid doesn’t want to do this. They’re kids, they’re full of energy and this is not realistic for them.

^ GA.

Well, I agree @jca, but there are times when it can’t be helped. They’re forced to sit in car seats for long periods of times. The whole thing is a training process. Kids can’t always have what they want. But I do agree about keeping it to a minimum.

@jca I think it depends on the kid—and the activity. Whenever we go to my kid’s favourite lunch spot, he’s an angel. Grins as soon as we pull into the parking lot. Walks up to his favourite table and climbs into the highchair himself. Uses a fork, napkin and straw ever so politely.

Other times, (before we figured out to bring our activity pack) when we try out a new restaurant where he’s not as interested in the food, he can be that crazy, mac and cheese slinging kid.

Like any kid, he likes to run around. But he also enjoys his stroller and asks to climb in when he’s tired.
I wish some giant would push me around when I’m tired!

I think the key is not to just strap them down and hope they let you do your adult activities without making a fuss. Besides knowing your kid’s cues about being tired, hungry and/or bored; you just have to make them feel more included and not just dragged along. They don’t want to be strapped in a shopping cart while mom shops. But they’ll probably be super excited to be her little helper during a trip to the store.

@Dutchess_III: I agree and I understand. I am not sure why kids want to run around stores but will sit in car seats for long periods. Maybe it’s because in a car everyone is facing straight ahead and they’re in a confined space, whereas in a store everyone else is walking around but the kid is strapped into the cart, and the kid sees a lot of stimulating stuff on shelves. Plus they see other kids walking around and they want to do the same thing. Maybe – just a guess.

When my daughter was a baby in the carrier, it was nirvana, because although is was a hassle to deal with the big, bulky, heavy carrier, she was content. Once she started walking all bets were off. She wanted to go, she didn’t want to sit in restaurants for more than a half hour and when we went visiting, it was like “keep her away from the steps,” “watch her and make sure she doesn’t go where she’s not supposed to.” Fortunately, that stage passed relatively quickly, but while she was in it, I didn’t take her to stores and if we went to a restaurant it had to be with another person who could walk her around for a bit once she ate.

We wild and crazy grand parents took 3 of the kids, ages 14 months, 3 and 7, out to breakfast one morning. As long as she was eating the baby was fine, but boy, once she was done….. It just happens the cafe was connected to this post store that sells furniture and high end lamps, paintings and stuff. So the baby and I walked around in there while everyone else finished up. She stumps along with such purpose all the time.
Of course, it was a bit nerve wracking because there were some valuable smaller items in there so I was no further than a foot behind her!

When my daughter was about 2 I had her in the cart. She wanted to get down and walk. I said, “No.”
She said, “But I can’t hear my feet!”
She had these hard soled little black shoes that she just loved. She’d tap around and tap around. I found them at Goodwill because she loved to do the dancing on the roof tops in the movie Mary Poppins. She’d tap and dance on the table and then JUMP down when the chimney sweep jumped.