With the life and the lifestyle that you lead now, what would you most likely be on the front page of the newspaper for? In a perfect world, what would you like it to be for?

College girl with strangest lifestyle.

Or College girl with most bizzare imagination.

The last time I was in the local papers and on the local news channels it was for turning a notorious strip club into an auction house. We had our 15 minutes of fame, and I’m good with that.

Of course I planted the story and it was the best free advertising ever.

”celebrated fleet supreme commander exterminates humanity and claims planet for the empire.”

Upcoming Mathematician Develops Equation That Explains The Universe

Musical Maverick Performs Spine-Tingling Original Masterpiece

Nah. I prefer not to get the attention.

What would I be in the paper about? Probably nothing, I’m living like a spinster librarian these days. Maybe as, like, an innocent bystander to some newsworthy event.

I would LIKE to be in the paper because I got published! Either as a wine critic, or because I wrote an educational wine book.

@Haleth Hey, some of us spinster librarians lead pretty exciting lives! Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it. :-)

R&D Company receives grant to develop medical device.

Ideal world: R&D Company developed medical device purchased by Google for $100M.

Older woman lives alone in house on 20 acres in isolated area for 29 years without having locked any doors or had any break-ins.

14 killed in 83 car pile up. One woman still unidentified.
I don’t do anything noteworthy.
Ideal world, 13 people rescued from certain death in 83 car pile up. Unidentified woman pulled victims to safety and disappeared.

Now it would be…“Nice guy works his ass off and finishes first”

Perfect world is “Cruiser single handedly dismantles the Federal Government and re-writes the tax code for the betterment of all Americans.”

The last time I made the front page section, I was an anonymous witness to school kids carrying firearms. The kids were arrested before anything went down.
These days I live a very quiet life, so if I make the front page, it won’t be pretty.

@filmfann Thanks for not looking the other way!

This will sound Incredible but it is true. When I was in school we had Riflery and a Rifle Team that competed with other schools. If we were too small to use the school supplied rifles (read that phrase again) we were permitted to bring our own guns to school. We would take them on the school bus and kept them in our lockers until it was time for the activity. I had a Mossberg 144 LSA!

Local millionaire appoints himself town Sheriff, buys badge & gun as proof of intent

Local woman’s cousin wins $90 million powerball, buys boring car.

A headline i’d quite like to see, although unlikely, Wilson floats out to sea, having a ball

Local Bohemian country woman wins “Back at the ranch fashion award.”
From duck muck to dinner, a day in farmy fashion.

She begins her day of rural ranch chores in a cozy pair of blue plaid, flannel jammie bottoms, salmon colored jersey & dark brown and sheepskin fleece Marlboro man vest with spiffy brown and pink, cowboy boots with a lovely red manure rake and silver pitchfork as accessories.

After the morning chores and a well deserved shower she changes into a vibrant burnt orange silk skirt, charcoal wool sweater and casual vest with stylish Durango boots for a trip into town.

Late afternoon finds her sipping wine and prepping the evening meal in that same playful cowgirl outfit with a touch of bohemian beauty glinting from her beaded pigtail ties and glittering metallic leaf earrings.

After the chicken breasts have been rubbed down with grillin’ seasonings and the artichokes are peeled and ready to steam she changes back into a more casual look for the evening repertoire of chores.

A zippy hooded sweat jacket with deep pockets to hold multiple horse cookies, covers the versatile little charcoal sweater with a vintage pair of Levi 501 jeans, and blue rubber Croc clogs with green and blue “Sock guy” socks that exclaim….
Beer:30! add a touch of playfulness.

A couple of Alfalfa sprigs in her hair and a dusting of Alfalfa leaves in her cleavage lend a delightful ambiance to her overall look and her lightweight manure rake is the perfect pairing
for this classic, down on the farm look.
Her choice of fragrance a hint of Equine performance supplement tops off this delightful evening ensemble.
Don’t miss the full layout in todays fashion section.

I was in the local paper once. Hudson valley area of NY. I was in first grade and I wrote a poem about being sunflower. A reporter was in our class that day for some reason and she liked my poem. That was a nice thing to be in the paper for.

Right now I can’t think of one thing that would land me in the paper. A few years ago I’d have a short list, but now nothing. That’s sort of depressing.

I’d like to be in the paper for the grand opening of a karting track and club with my husband.

Homemaker vacuums ceiling

Local woman helps stranded travelers by welcoming them in to her home during blizzard

We’ve helped stranded travelers before and our neighbors opened their heated garage to several people stranded on the highway during our last blizzard. The police and area farmers transported the travelers by snowmobile to our neighbors home.

In a perfect world? My first example will do.

For being the most honest person in the world. (And I am!)

LOCAL WOMAN DOESN’T CARE ABOUT THE SUPER BOWL!

@kritiper In what way?

She’s funny, and sweet, and creative, and she can cook.

Ideal world: He loves her.

@Dutchess_III I don’t lie, cheat, steal, etc. I’m like a lifetime Boy Scout.

Are you honest in everything you say, even if it hurts people?

It is possible to be honest and be diplomatic at the same time, in most cases.

Imagined Life: LOCAL AUTHOR PRINTS YET ANOTHER BILLION DOLLAR PAGE-TURNER

Real Life: LOCAL RESIDENT SAYS CITY NEEDS MORE SIDEWALKS

*Sigh…

Homemaker insists that it’s ridiculous for the city to put side walks only on one side of the street and alternating them every block!

Alternating them every block?! WTH? It’s not uncommon for sidewalks to only be on one side, but to alternate them? So, people have to constantly cross back and forth? That’s just crazy talk.

Seriously, @JLeslie! Took a walk with Zoes last fall, and the side walk seemed to alternate. Now, this is an old town, and some folks just let the sidewalks disappear into grass, so that was probably most of it.
I just stayed in the street, walked along the curb.

Local Nut Well Known Local Eccentric Run Down Walking Baby in the Street

Gramma loses control of 18 month old twins in unfenced front yard! Learns lesson! About kilt herself!