Why is he talking to me if he rejected me?
Asked by
dopeguru (
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)
January 26th, 2015
So I was dating a guy last year who rejected me quite brutally and unexpectedly. I hit him up and we met, had lunch and stuff. We continued to meet a few times the same week and he’d be available each time I asked. We just talk, eat and watch tv shows together. Its interesting because his reason for dumping me was because he didn’t find me interesting enough for him, and he just said last week that he likes having conversations like we do with other girls he likes. He heard through a mutual friend that I found him ‘simple’ and ‘just like any other normal man’, and he did not appreciate that at all. So it seems to me that he is trying to prove himself to me this time around, as friends, that he is in fact unique.
Now here is my problem: I am in love with him. I am being more careful this time around and trying not to create any conflicts as I did before. We get along much better and we got to know each other better too this time around. Though we are friends, and he had told a mutual friend that he didn’t like me much (as the reason for dumping me). So I am concerned! I can’t comprehend what he wants out of this either. It doesn’t seem to be just friendship honestly, especially when there is intense romantic tension between us each time we see one another.
Another question is this: Can one like another after they tried and it didn’t work out for them? I’m wondering if he ever would want to be with me.
I know my path is dangerous, but I’m enjoying being with him even platonically than never talking to him in my life. It keeps my life grounded! I was miserable without him.
Thank you!
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12 Answers
Sounds like he got dumped and is rebuilding old bridges.
@talljasperman Wait but he dumped me!
My friend said a part of him wants to be with me, but his mind is resisting because he knows I am too wild to settle and do what he wants, which is marriage and kids.
@dopeguru Maybe you should focus on your career/schooling and let this play out in its own time. It is too complicated right now. Both of you don’t know what they/you want. It seems very complicated. Play things by ear. Don’t make any rash choices. Don’t let him knock you up by “accident”.
@talljasperman What do you mean don’t let him knock me up by accident?
He means don’t let him get you pregnant.
I could not finish reading the question. When I read that you love him, my only thought was, “Take a right turn off of Dumb Ave., and don’t go back. Love him? He finds you less interesting than tv. (He has a tv, right? But he dumped you.) Move on, for gosh sakes. The two of you are playing mind games, and there is no value to it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj6L_kHLQLc
Seriously, you need to walk away from any such situation.
http://youtu.be/08DjMT-qR9g
You deserve better. Sounds like you made up your mind and want to justify it because your instincts tell you to run.
You are the fall back comfortable girl… Proving he still got it. Regardless of sexual tension he will never give you what you want. You are too emotionally attached to use him to boost your ego and keep your eye out for someone better. He is literally feeding off your emotions. It is not symbiotic relationship.
He’s playing the field, keeping his options open. He doesn’t want to settle for you while there are still potential others (at least, in his head, it would seem.) He probably made the excuse that something you supposedly said hurt his feelings so that you feel like it was your fault that he acted the way he did. This story seems very convoluted.
Honestly, it sounds like you depend on the idea of this person too much which is apparent when you say that you need it to “keep your life grounded.” It’s very unhealthy to love someone who doesn’t love you, especially if that person is cold enough to use you. I’d stay out of any relationships and just focus on being content with myself first, if I were you.
You like being with him? Great. Maintain the friendship, but date other guys. Otherwise you are setting yourself up for a lot of pain.
Continue the friendship but don’t allow him take advantage of you. Since you are falling in love maybe he will turn around and become the love of your life. Go with caution all the same.
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