Why do people see death as a scary thing?

It is the unknown from which you will not return. If you’re like me, then you believe that when you die, there is nothing else. I wouldn’t say that I fear it. Death is inevitable and it may occur at any given moment.

“To fear death, gentlemen, is no other than to think oneself wise when one is not, to think one knows what one does not know. No one knows whether death may not be the greatest of all blessings for a man, yet men fear it as if they knew that it is the greatest of evils.”
-Socrates

Because we don’t know what happens next, and whatever it is, it lasts forever.

Death = liberation

When I was at a very bad place in my life a few years ago, I said to a friend, “If things don’t improve within five years, I’ll think of killing myself.” As has been said by others, “Death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”

My life now is not a bed of roses but I have it pretty damned good. If I had not given it time to change and worked on changing it, I wouldn’t be here now to enjoy my friends, painting, Unitarianism, travel and work.

You need to focus on making things better before you opt out. You sound very young. Saying you tried therapy and it did’t work sounds like saying, “I tried an apple and I don’t like fruit.” Find someone you can talk to. Stay away from your cousin. Find what makes you feel good and do more if it..

My whole life was torn away from me three years ago and I made myself a new and better one. The new one was torn away last year and I am now making a stronger and better one again.

Death means that nothing good or bad will ever happen again. Is that really what you want? Really?

Because you will miss ,people and your death will leave a big hole in the lives of others.

I’ve been waiting all my life for something to happen and it’s just not happening. I’m so tired. I will wait a bit more but i would rather leave space for other people.

The situation with my cousin hurts, double edge sword cause she’s like my sister and best friend, the only person I hang out with.

Im 22 years old. How old are you if i may ask @janbb ? I just don’t get why some people are happy and their life is all good for them and good things keep happening to them and others just suffer. Some people are maybe not meant for this and mAybe its their karma to suffer the life time its so unfortunate.

I will try to make the most of my time now by helping others. I will also try to draw more and find my passion. I don’t know if drawing is my passion i don’t think so but I’m good at it

Everyone has their life in their heads they will eventually move on and i will explain them before.

I’m 64 and believe me, I have had bad things happen in my life. As I said, it has not been a bed of roses but there are times when you can only see the bad and times when you can appreciate the good. If you think other people are swimming through their lives, you are probably only seeing the externals.

Still young :)

I always try to remind myself its only appearances maybe they struggle too at times @janbb

@Inconito101 Still young in mind for sure! :-)

Suicide is the course of the coward. Our lives, our existence is a rarity in a volatile universe that is primarily hostile to life. The fact that we’re sitting here conversing is an unfathomable miracle. To take such an opportunity and throw it away is shortsighted, to say the least.

@Mariah ”Because we don’t know what happens next, and whatever it is, it lasts forever.”

But if we don’t know what happens next, then we cannot know it lasts forever.

@Inconito101 Everybody has “a thing.”
Look out the window. See that guy over there? His mother is dying of cancer and he can’t afford nursing care. See that girl? She’s got an infection that might be HPV. That woman to her right just left her husband and discovered the guy she was dating is already married. That guy’s girlfriend is pregnant and wants to keep the baby. He lost his job. She had credit card debt that is increasing faster than her salary. He has life threatening food allergies. She has night terrors. He wants more. She wants less. She is a closet alcoholic. He just tested positive for Hep C. His young son needs a liver transplant.

Look at them. They all are wearing clothes, are smiling, eating, sleeping, showering, watching TV, reading, etc., every day. Like you, they all are experiencing the journey of life.

And every one of them, ...every…, single…, one…, has “a thing”.

^^What I learned yesterday (after I finally got out without the huskies):

My post-mistress’s mother has stage four lung cancer
My insurance agent has severe fibromyalgia
My close friend has several small new tumors on her hip, also from stage four lung cancer and will have to have inpatient surgery for the biopsy…asap
My investment advisor’s mother-in-law is being treated for pancreatic cancer.
My friend, the new bride, lost all the heat in her house yesterday, and the plumber got sick so couldn’t comet repair the pipes.

Many people aren’t scared of death but of a bad dying.

I absolutely agree with @SloanFaunus, suicide is the ultimate cowardly act, pseudo-intellects will argue the opposite, but that’s bullshit.
I’m also going to agree with those who said death is so feared because of it’s finality.

They fear it because they don’t understand it. If they thought about it more at length, they would understand, but then there’s that fear factor again. It’s a scary thought, a catch-22.

@ucme I might argue that suicide is an ultimate act of pure sanity.

@kritiper You may argue all you wish, as is your right, but my view will remain unaltered.

@kritiper why would you say so!?

It is not to anyone to label the act of another. Anyways after death there nothing to say to the one involve cause they’re not here anymore. People love judging but are your hands clean

@Inconito101 Something you said stands out…that you have been “waiting” for something to happen, for your life to get better. Waiting is not empowering, you must take some sort of ACTION. Otherwise you will still be “waiting” until you are 75 with cobwebs growing on your head. I do not fear death and do think there are things worse than death, absolutely.

Existing is not truly living, but, you know what, re-read what @LuckyGuy said.
At 22 your future is wide open, that is not a luxury I have any more at age 55.
I lost everything in the economic down turn and have experienced a highly stressful and unhappy last several years. I am now, as of 6 months ago, in a better space than I was, and while I am not feeling the extreme highs and joys of my past, I am comfortable, fed, clothed, sheltered and living in a peaceful place again after years of independence and financial solvency.

Life, does indeed, go on.

The older we get the harder it is to start over and you still are enjoying the extreme luxury of youth and time on your side. While I believe everyone has the right to end their lives if they so choose, it would be premature on your behalf at this time.
You need to figure out a course of ACTION to bring more happiness into your life, because there is no empowerment in waiting for fate to deliver anything more than, more of the same.
If you want flowers you need to plan a garden and take the steps needed to encourage growth.

To parrot the lyrics of an old song…
If you plant ice you’re going to harvest wind.
Nothing will change for you if you don’t amend yourself.

To

@Inconito101 I’m not trying to label it, only understand it.

What we fear is a literal interpretation of the biblical phrase, “Dust to dust, ashes to ashes” You will be returned atom by atom back to the Earth from which you originated, recycled to form parts of plants and animals, but you as an individual are gone. How can that not be scary?

Because dying hurts and is uncomfortable. I can’t even take dental surgery.

@SloanFaunus not a coward’s course, on the contrary it takes guts and immense courage!

@LostInParadise The reason I do not find that possibility scary was best stated by Epicurus:

“That most frightful of evils, death, is nothing to us, seeing that when we exist death is not present, and when death is present we do not exist. Thus it is nothing to either the living or the dead, seeing that the former do not have it and the latter no longer exist.”

Just the ones left behind suffer not the deceased.

Death seems scary as long as you have unfinished business. But it will be no worse than those years before you were born.

@ZEPHYRA Suicide is not a representation of bravery, it is merely the illusion of courage. I wouldn’t mistake apathy and a complete disregard for one’s own safety as bravery.

@SloanFaunus Why does the choice of suicide even have to be labeled as “brave, selfish, courageous, on and on?
Bottom line, I believe it is perfectly possible for some people to make a conscious choice to be done with their life in the absence of depression or other mental health issues. Or…if they are old, infirm. facing insurmountable hardships or are just plain freaking tired! haha
Conscious choice is also a viable factor that should not be overlooked.

Our bodies our choices and this includes the choice to exit this realm if we so choose.

@kritiper no i wasnt saying that to you lol , i was more talking to @sloanflotus and @ucme

But kritiper, what do you mean by “It’s a scary thought, a catch-22.” ?

@talljasperman how do you know it hurts!?

@otherfluther what do you mean by :” But it will be no worse than those years before you were born.” !?

@flutherother ***

@Inconito101 Now we’ve established you hit the wrong name, i’ll respond.
I say so because it’s my opinion.
I’m not putting a label on anything, it’s my opinion.
I didn’t judge anyone, it’s my opinion.
My hands are spotlessly clean, moisturised too.

@coloma you are right. We should just stop labeling everything period.

Cool
@ucmd

@ucme **

@Inconito101 That’s right, I am :)
ucmd sounds more like industrial solvent.

@SloanFaunus why an illusion of courage? If I have my house in order, leave no responsibilities behind or unfinished business that someone else wiould have ti take over, then why not choose to get off at an earlier bus stop? I DO agree it may be selfish not to think about one’s parents and siblings etc, but if you carry it out responsibly why is it an act of cowardice. Just a matter of timing.

Lol yea @ucme thank you for participating in the convo :) hopefully no one think im using a tone or anything in my answer we are just exchanging, didnt take your opinion personally.

@ZEPHYRA George Eastman (the founder of Kodak and a gazillionaire) never married and had no children. In his late 70’s he began suffering limited mobility and extreme pain from a degenerative disease affecting his spine.
He left a suicide note: “My work is done – Why wait? GE.”
He was a pretty organized guy. I’m guessing his work really was done.

I couldn’t do it.I’d be too embarrassed to have people look in my garage, basement, and barn!

Suicide is essentially opting out. It is a conscious resignation, a retreat. I don’t say this callously, my own father took his own life and I respected and loved him very much. I’m not slandering anyone, I’m speaking from a perspective that has held witness to suicide and the implications behind it as well as having seriously considered the option.

Possessing the ability to logically make the conclusion to surrender doesn’t change the terms of surrender. And before everyone attempts to be politically correct for the sake of diplomacy, it is a surrender. Relinquish, surrender, give up, retreat, whatever word doesn’t offend your overly sensitive sensibility. A coward doesn’t have to be constantly shivering in fear to be a coward, oftentimes cowards are rather obstinate and indignant, actually.

Suicide is selfish. If you can’t think of a single good purpose for your life, then you must only be considering the happiness that alludes you, which is selfish. EVERY human being is selfish, it’s a part of our very nature so I don’t see why that’s so offensive unless you can’t think outside of your own hubris. Suicide doesn’t serve anyone, except for you so how can it not be selfish? Just think about it logically. It’s not that difficult.

Suicide may seem brave, to be able to face death unblinking. However (unless under extremely extenuating circumstances) the reason for suicide is self serving. It isn’t brave to do what you want to do. Why would anyone think that?

If a homophobe is sodomized by ten guys in a row and can face the experience unflinching, then I’d call him brave. If a male homosexual nymphomaniac does the same thing, while it may be impressive, I wouldn’t call it bravery.

@Coloma What is this about not labelling anything? Words are labels for objects and concepts, every time you speak, you label. Honestly, it just seems like the same new age, watered down, everyone wins persona that people have adopted lately. People are afraid of saying something that isn’t agreeable, I’m not. If I say something that isn’t agreeable and someone proves me wrong, then I will concur. Until then I’ll just use the same recycled and inane phrase “my body, my choice.” It’s my choice to label things because I am a sentient being capable of judging. If you consider yourself less, than by all means, just agree with whatever is agreeable.

@LuckyGuy fair, one could tidy up, get rid of everything, sell, donate, bequeathe whatever and move on! Scared yes, embarrassed? That could be dealt with.

@Inconito101 If you know what it is, then you shouldn’t fear it. But you fear it anyway.

@Inconito101 I’ve been injured before and it hurts… depending on the manner of death would only be worse.

@SloanFaunus What’s truly selfish are others that believe they have a right to determine what anothers quality of life should be and proceed to make determinations about their character based on said choices of a highly personal nature.
I believe that humans are no more of less “special” than any other life form. Be that a turtle or a rose bush we are just another organism period.
I stand by ones right to choose without judgement.

If suicide was less stigmatized and seen as a personal right/choice, there would be much less sadness for those left behind because the subject would feel free to be honest about their desire to expire.
Most of the pain survivors experience is the shock of their loved one making the choice to take their own lives. It would not come as such a shock to those left behind if it could be openly discussed and even celebrated for those that are ready to be done with their mortal spin on this rock. The real “selfishness” comes from others that want their loved ones to remain alive, at all costs, because they are unable to let go and allow the suffering person their choices.

I am exercising my right to say something disagreeable as well.
Touche ey?

I’d also add that at times suicide does “serve” the greater good and therefore can also be seen as very unselfish in not wanting to be a burden on family, society and institutions.
Caring for a severely unwell, disabled and dependent adult human is a huge burden to family, state and the medical system, especially if said person is destitute and cannot afford long term care. I know I’d rather be dead than end up burdening my only child with my long term care needs.

“I believe that humans are no more of less “special” than any other life form.”

I’m not sure exactly what you mean by “no more of less.” I believe what you meant to imply is that human beings are not inferior to other creatures. You’d be correct in your assumption. However you are wrong when you say that a human is equal to a rose.

“Be that a turtle or a rose bush we are just another organism period.”

I don’t know what you are trying to imply with this argument, but humans and roses are definitely different. If I kill a rose, no one bats an eye. If I kill a man, then I will go to prison. Roses can’t speak, they can’t move, and they haven’t been known to advocate their rights very well. Turtles have also remained silent, those damned cowards.

I’m not interested in debating whether or not we should create a social program that encourages the clinically depressed to “serve the greater good.” The question is “why do people fear death?” Granted, the conversation switched to fear of death relative to suicide once it became clear that suicide was the underlying topic. Either way, I don’t see what human rights (or the rights of turtles and roses) has to do with fear and death. You haven’t even made an argument for bravery, you just switched to a different tangent once I logically disproved the last nonsensical assertion.

Because it’s just another thing for free floating anxiety to attach itself to.

@SloanFaunus What I am saying is that a human, a rose bush or a turtle are all equal life forms in terms of the one life. Meaning, ALL life forms arose from the same primordial mud and therefore none has a monopoly over another, including humans. We all evolved into what species we are via the randomness of the roll of the DNA dice, hence, human life is just not that important from an evolutionary standpoint.
Obviously a rose bush or a turtle is unable to advocate for any rights pertaining to it’s existence or lack thereof but this does not cancel out the fact that all life forms originated equally and none is any more or less special or worthy than another contrary to humans enormous egos that claim we are the “superior” species. haha

Bravery? I think I showcased courage, bravery and altruism when I spoke of choosing to not burden others, society, the state, with our organisms failing health and limited or non-existent independence. If we’d throw ourselves under a bus to save our child why wouldn’t we opt out if we were to become a huge emotional, physical and financial burden on that same child?
You have not logically disproved anything and your “tangent” is just another form of opinion not ultimate truth.

Why do people fear death?
Simple.
Because we are the only species to possess an ego and human ego, our sense of supremacy and our bloated self importance cringe at the thought or no longer existing even though we were already “dead” for billions of years before we were born. Go figure, fearing something that has already happened minus the consciousness to remember. haha

I just stomped on a rose.

@SloanFaunus Oookay, lol

Ok please people dont take things personally its just exchange here dont change your mood for this. Stay happy!

@Inconito101 No worries, I’m an old timer, I could never be scared off my a little sarcasm and sparring. Humorous retort is part of this pod. Keeps us sharp and in good form. ;-)

Have you ever watched someone die it’s not a pleasant thing to see .

@fredTOG It is natural though, and helping another pass is the greatest gift we can ever give as humans.

@fredTOG
I understand why people are afraid of dying. But being afraid of death is something (admittedly related, but) different.

@fluthernuter how so?

Maybe what @fluthernutter is saying is related to a line by Woody Allen that he was not afraid of death, but would prefer not to be around when it happened.

There is definitely a difference between fear of the process of dying, which is often painful etc, versus fear of being dead, which we know nothing about.

@fluthernutter please explain

For a long time, death was my biggest fear. Raised devoid of religion, I eventually came to view life in mechanical terms. The body was the chassis. The brain, the processor; and so on… A computer serves as the best analogy for the mind in that train of thought. So as I imagined death, I would consider the destruction of hardware within a computer. Snap the mother board in half or smash the hard drive, and the flow of information stops. I pictured consciousness ceasing with the destruction of facilitating hardware, just as a program can’t transcend the confines of closed circuits within a destroyed computer.

Eventually, I sat down to try to imagine death within that perspective of nothingness my views held. After a few attempts, I quickly realized that “nothingness” is an incomprehensible thought. So I searched instead for something close that might serve as a bridge to the concept. I eventually arrived, as many above have mentioned, at the idea of pre-birth. We have all, at one point, not been alive. And so the nothingness of before became what I was to expect after. It all seemed like a very succinct and logically symmetrical cycle.
| Nothingness —> Life —> Nothingness |
That was my truth for so many years; and fear of it came from the fact that I truly love existing. All the amazing things that might come to pass! The possibility of space travel and contact with other lifeforms. Expanded consciousness; maybe even immortality and real answers to the greatest mysteries of life and the universe… Whatever might come to pass, I was going to miss all of it. That was the saddest realization of my life… And with it, the realization that I actually don’t fear death; I’m just sad for the loss of life and a future I’ll never be part of.

@Esedess Brilliantly expressed, I’m right there with ya. :-)