Did your parents offer you the same support as your siblings?

Yes, ALWAYS never felt differently treated. They actually went out of their way to ensure that the support and treatment generally was the same.

Nope. They seem to be sweeter to my brother than to me, showing him more support and cutting him more slacks for his faults. But then again I’m older than how am I to complain?

Though I still a bit jealous sometimes and wish I had that much support.

Yes, for the most part. I almost always felt treated fairly, and as a result, both my sisters are wonderful friends to me.

I believe that while my parents took wonderful care of both me and my brother I, the older son, got somewhat more attention growing up—and I’m sure my brother would agree. My mother apparently felt some guilt about this in later years because she periodically talked about it with me (and I’m sure my brother, too), and, as perhaps a way of assuaging it, silly as it may sound, she always made it a point to give each of us the exact same gifts.

No. My parents were my financial support, and my brother was (some of) my emotional support.

There were five of us and while our parents cared for and supported all of us, they definitely treated us differently. As the oldest I had the hardest road plowing new ground when I moved in with a boyfriend without benefit of wedlock, etc. When my younger sisters did that, it went without comment.

No, my younger twin sisters always had better financial support from my parents. I suppose I never really needed it from them and I never complained or even asked about it either. They had three kids in college at the same time. They just had to make things work even if one of their kids needed more help than the rest.

Looking back, I’m fairly certain that support was based pretty much on perceived need or requirement. We were really lucky kids. In fact all 4 of us had it so good, that to a large extent ALL of us still resist growing up.

No. We were in different generations, so although I was offered some support, it was quantitatively and qualitatively different. I left home perhaps 5 years younger than my other sisters, but my parents contributed to my rent for a time. There were other differences in terms of lump sums offered to certain siblings when they were in difficulty but not others – I had a short-term loan once, but never a gift of that nature. We are not particularly competitive by nature, so this has never created any tensions within the family.

The thing is, my parents were in the mold of “have a stable job your whole life, buy a house, raise children, and retire”, so their financial situation was stable although they had no wealth per se. My parents had more to offer when their first children needed it – by the time the sixth child needs help, it isn’t so easy to give. All of my parents’ financial planning was based on their children being self-sufficient the moment they left home. That was reasonable in those days. None of my siblings went to university; I’m the first, and I’m doing it on my own dime.

Their children’s needs (our needs) varied a lot throughout our lives, because the working paradigm has shifted so much, and also because we fanned out to different parts of the country, so our risks and costs differed between us.

As to emotional support… well. We don’t generally tend to offer it or ask for it in my family. That’s just how we are. I mean, if one of my siblings asked me for anything, I would give it if it were at all possible. I’m there for that person, because they are family. But it is an exceedingly rare thing to be asked.

No, because I am an only child.
I am also the mother to an only child so I have zero input on this one. haha

I got more support, but I was fighting very different problems as a teenager than my sister was.

I got less support simply because I didn’t need it. My brother was a juvenile delinquent and is now serving an 18-year prison sentence. My sister has been addicted to narcotics for eight years and up until she recently checked herself into rehab (again), she lived with my parents along with her daughter, who my parents have pretty much raised. When my siblings were asking for support, emotional or financial, I was finding my own way without their help and slowly distancing myself from their dysfunction.

That being said, I’m the favorite for the same reasons. I’m the only one they trust and the only one they don’t have to worry about. If I asked for support, I’d get it in a second. However, I don’t see myself ever doing that.

My sister and I were born when my folks were in their late 20s. Our half siblings were born when my dad and his second wife were in their 40s. The kids have had smartphones from the age of like… 9–10, and in the last year, they’ve been to Disneyworld, on a ski trip, and on a Caribbean cruise. I still have a dumb clamshell phone, kind of out of stubbornness and also because it’s cheaper.

I think a lot of it is generational, because, like… who is better equipped to raise a bunch of kids? Someone in their 20s, or someone in their 40s? But a lot of the difference was also from my dad’s terrible second wife. When I left for college, she turned my bedroom into a storage room. After I dropped out, I stayed there for a couple weeks on an air mattress in the basement. (My sister and I were supposed to pay for college with cash from our mom’s life insurance policy, but it didn’t last.)

At that age, I had no clue how to get a student loan on my own. Being around my stepmom was so tense and uncomfortable; I felt harassed and beleagured pretty much all the time. Have you ever, like, involuntarily hunched over with tension, just from hearing someone’s footsteps on another floor? There was no way they would be co-signors for me, and I didn’t have any credit. So I started working retail and moved out right away. When my sister dropped out, they strongly encouraged her to join the military, where she still is today.

Things are a lot better nowadays. My sister and I are semi-successful young adults, and the kids are sweet, smart, and well-adjusted in spite of everything.

@Haleth Sorry, that sounds very painful.