Do you believe you have the power to change what you dream about? If so, how do you control it?

Your dreams are made from your thought, emotion and experience during the time you are awake, so if you want to end those dream you have to stop your negative thought. It sounds like you had too much bad experience with him that you refuse to believe the current situation is true. Why don’t you just give it another try? Say to yourself that things can get better between you two, that your boyfriend is treating you better and you can trust him. And enjoy his company and try to forget all the bad ecperience.

Or you can just go and see a therapist if you can’t stop them yourself. It may be more than just your anxiety.

If he actually is a good guy for a long time, months and years, then the dreams will stop most likely. His words will not take them away. He wasn’t trustworthy in the past, and now all that counts is his actions going forward, not his promises.

You could go to therapy to talk through your feelings in the matter, that might help.

Also, feeling less dependent on him for happiness will likely help. Having happiness and self confidence in general. Maintain your friendships, family ties, your own interests and hobbies.

How old are you and your boyfriend?

You will ruin the relationship if you keep seeking reassurance from him and telling him about your negative dreams. You will drive him away. Don’t let your dreams have so much power over you. They are probably expressions of your anxieties but they don’t dictate or predict reality. Enjoy the healthy relationship you have and eventually your dreams will relax too.

Your dreams are karmic, meaning they are the hand you are dealt. What can change is the person you are in your dream—how you respond to the circumstances presented to you.

I used to have dreams about situations that induced anxiety (not being able to get where I was supposed to go, for example). I started “asking” for better dreams before I fell asleep. What happened is that I had the same dreams, but I responded more peacefully within them.

@JLeslie , I am 22 and he is 31.
I don’t depend on him for happiness, but he does bring me a lot of happiness.
I have been estranged from my mother for four years now, but am in close contact with siblings and extended family. Not for lack of trying, I don’t have a lot of close friends. My boyfriends and I invite people over a couple of times a week, but it is rare that anyone shows up. It was that way for both of us before we were together, too. I’ve heard other people in my area complain about the same issue…I think it may be a regional problem – most Alaskans are homebodies.

There may be something your sub conscious knows that you don’t know.

Not long after I met my now-husband, about 2 weeks into the relationship, he was so charming and loving. Then I had a dream. He was a beautiful cat, smiling, then suddenly he turned on me with a demonic snarl, and his beautiful cat face had turned into something from hell. It wasn’t about a month after that that he became enraged with me over absolutely nothing for the first time.
It was shocking, however I learned to deal with it, and he has actually mellowed. He hasn’t turned on me like that in several years. We’ve been together for 13 years now.
My subconscious knew before I did.

Does your BF have a history of going out on you? That’s what your dreams seem to indicate.

@Dutchess_III About a year after we started seeing each other I found out he had another girl friend, who was pregnant. Long story short – we broke up, then ended up back together shortly after her baby was born. She drowned in a boating accident last summer and I am now raising the baby.

None of this was the situation I ever anticipated getting myself into. You always think – if I get cheated on I’ll just leave and be done with it, but it’s not always that easy.
We havent had any problems since getting back together. And like I said, he is very open about everything with me now. I’m not worried about it happening again.

Then the dreams should subside. And I agree with @janbb. Don’t keep bringing your insecurities up to him. It gets old, real fast.

But being a mother to the baby puts this relationship on a whole new level. Do you guys live together?

@Dutchess_III , yes we do.

The new information you provided to us about his unfaithfulness, his new baby, the death of the baby’s mother and your enormous new responsibilities would overload anyone’s unconscious.

Anger (rage?), shock, resentment, compromise, sadness, regret. Your dreams are not surprising and may act as a safety valve. Or they may be suggesting that you have more to talk about with the boyfriend. Calling it a “rocky road” is a huge understatement.

“I am now raising the baby.” What’s his contribution?

@gailcalled, I guess I should have said that we are raising the baby together. I have a lot of experience with kids and fall into it naturally.
He maintains the house, watches the baby and works from home while I am working two jobs during the day. He is definitely contributing, though I have at times felt that the balance was off, it’s not an issue currently.

@lillyanne Well, I would now say don’t try to change your dreams but listen to your anxieties and what they may be telling you. I still wouldn’t advise running to him with every single negative thought but do think about what you are getting from this situation and where it might go. It’s a lot of baggage at the very least that you’ve taken on.

He was in his late twenties and juggling two women? My advice would be listen to your subconscious. He will not be faithful to you in the long run. Not to mention you were very young when he pursued you. It all adds up to a lot of red flags.