If your teenager was drinking regularly and doing very dangerous behavior would you stop drinking?

“Do as I say, not as I do” never works.

I would say that the connection between parental drinking and children drinking is tenuous at best. In fact, a parent who doesn’t drink may in fact be encouraging the child to rebel (do the opposite as the parent) as a rebellion thing.

That’s why, in many households (primarily Baptist, but not necessarily), the children do just the opposite of what they were taught in the home. In a household where there was no tobacco, no alcohol, and no discussion of sex, the younger generation sees the forbidden things as stimuli or targets to achieve, precisely because they were forbidden.

The bottom line in the Dr. Phil show is that any parent who drinks should teach (by example) to drink responsibly.

The problem is not the 20 year old; it’s the parent who didn’t properly raise her kid.

If the kid was already drinking it might be a good idea for everyone in the house to stop. It’s like diets or quitting smoking. It’s easier to quit when everyone quits at once and goes on the same “diet.”

What @keobooks said.

I don’t know the answer but if I could give this question 100 Great Question marks I would. It’s probably one of the most thought provoking questions I’ve ever read on here.
I will say I grew up with an entire family who drank beer and smoked cigarettes and I happily did the same until I was a twenty year old newlywed and my husband said, “nobody is going to do that stuff in my home.” Of course, he never smoked or drank his entire life.

Dr.Phil. Heavy sigh.
Next up!: Civil Rights activist Reverend Al Sharpton.

Um, they say alcoholism is a “disease.” I don’t agree or disagree. However, I drank a couple of drinks before bed, and my kids don’t drink. Or if they do, it’s only rarely.
On the other hand, my Mom drank, but in such a way that it caused problems. I used to dread getting off the bus after school, no knowing if I was going to find Mom passed out on the floor. I have two sisters. Two of us drink in moderation, the third turned into a flaming drug and alcohol addict.
What I regret is picking up smoking again, after quitting for 8 years. All three of my kids smoke.

Oh, and the case you specified, it’s too late now.

If the teen was living in my house, and not in control of her own drinking, then I wouldn’t have alcohol in the house. If the teen tends to get out of control when drinking with her friends at parties, or if the kid wasn’t living in the house at all, I probably wouldn’t change my own behaviour.

This is not a case of “do as I say, not as I do”. I would expect the teen be responsible around alcohol. I don’t believe in treating alcohol as a powerful, mystical force that absolves the user of all responsibility. It’s just alcohol. The kid needs to learn how to put it into normal perspective and act like an adult.

But also… I think that removing all alcohol from the house is not enough action for a teen who is regularly driving drunk and ending up in the hospital multiple times. Yes, you remove the alcohol, but the highest priority is finding out why she isn’t taking the consequences seriously, and why they would put other lives at risk. This is a kid who doesn’t have any respect for herself or others. “Should I throw away the booze?” is not nearly the most important question in my mind.