Difference between a pompous boy and a pretentious boy?

Pompous is someone who takes themselves seriously, and has a puffed-up and overbearing attitude. Their arrogance is about themselves and their sense of importance. Pretentious is someone who is affects an air of culture and sophistication. They go to great lengths to make it seem like they’re smarter and more worldly than you are.

I consider them synonyms and therefore interchangeable.

You are pretentious if you try to show you have more talent or knowledge or intelligence than you actually have.
You are pompous if you appear overbearing and self-important.
They are both signs of pride but I think you have to do or say something to be pretentious whereas your manner alone is enough to make you pompous.

One can be pompous (or pretentious) without being very intelligent.

@gailcalled, Yes.

Dictionaries do list them as synonyms, but I would say that the apparent arrogance of the pompous person is based on what he really is, while that of the pretentious person is based on affectation.

Imagine the society of Downton Abbey. An aristocrat who treats commoners with open contempt is pompous. A nouveau riche businessman who puts on airs in the same way is pretentious (since, despite his money, he is still a commoner too).

An academic who insists on being addressed as “Dr.” outside of professional contexts is pompous. Some who has read a little bit more about a topic than you have but tries to pass himself off as an expert on the topic is pretentious.

I see a difference between pomposity and pretentiousness although the dictionary (or some dictionaries?) may disagree. To me, pomposity relates to style or manner; it is a fulsome and overbearing way of speaking that is indicative of self-importance but not necessarily knowledge. I see pretentiousness as the belief that one knows more than one really does so the manner of speaking may be brief or expansive – it is the content of it that indicates the pretension.

(Was that reply pompous or was it pretentious? :-))

@janbb: Perspicacious? ;-)

I think pretentiousness is a way to be pompous. You can be pompous in other ways and you’re not always pretentious when you’re pompous. You can be grandiose and overbearing when you are being pompous. Does that make sense?

When you are pretentious, you’re always pompous, but when you’re pompous, you’re not necessarily being pretentious.

Given the convincing arguments presented, I am modifying my original opinion.

“Some(sic) who has read a little bit more about a topic than you have but tries to pass himself off as an expert on the topic is pretentious.”—

“I see pretentiousness as the belief that one knows more than one really does…”

We’ve certainly seen examples of this here recently.

The etymology arguably lends some support to janbb’s answer: pomp vs. pretense. But I’m not sure pretentiousness is limited to matters of knowledge. How about this: the pompous person really has some authority or prestige (possibly but not necessarily based on knowledge), but displays it in a vainglorious manner, while the pretentious person merely acts like he has it or wants others to think that he has it.

I don’t use the terms interchangeably. To me, pompousness implies a high self-esteem. Pretentiousness implies the longing for high self esteem.

David Cameron & Nick Clegg

@CugelTheClueless I would agree with you in the main distinction except I don’t think that the pompous person has to have any actual authority to be pompous. I still think pomposity is largely a style or manner. One can indicate pretentiousness by style or manner too but it is mainly the content of what is being conveyed. You’re right that it doesn’t have to be knowledge only; one could be pretentious about class or neighborhood.