The thing that prompted this question was the fact that a co-worker brought in some chocolate cupcakes with 4 inch thick neon pink and blue butter-cream frosting yesterday. Everybody squealed with delight when they saw them and scarfed them down. I can’t stand chocolate cake, for starters. It’s too sweet and slightly bitter to me. If that’s not bad enough, butter-cream frosting is downright disgusting. It’s way too sweet and slightly crunchy because of all that sugar, and it has a weird chemical “off” taste to me. I’ve never liked it, even since I was a kid. I’ve always preferred whipped cream frosting, or cream cheese frosting on cakes.
Actually I’m not that big on cake, in general, either. I’d much prefer to eat pie than cake, any day of the week. But if I’m going to eat pie, I would prefer not to eat apple pie, which apparently is one of American’s favorite kinds of pie. I’ve never liked it, although I do love fresh raw apples. I don’t like them cooked, they’re mushy and the flavor is weird. I prefer boysenberry or pumpkin pie.
Pringles “potato chips” are foul.
Most sports, save for figure skating and gymnastics, are more boring than watching paint dry. At least when the paint is dry, you’ve got a lovely new wall color, an interior design blank canvas to do what you will with. Also, drying paint tends not to be violent.
Going to bars is a colossal waste of time, in my opinion. I don’t drink. I don’t care to be hit on, or to hit upon strangers. Bars are loud, impersonal places usually full of drunk people (which I don’t enjoy being around) and not conducive to having a nice chat with someone (without having to worry/assume that someone is looking to score). Grocery store checkout lines are better places to make friends and have a nice chat with someone.
Celebrating one’s birthday month. Really??? Everybody has a birthday and it’s one day out of 365, not 30 days of celebration. I don’t like the idea of huge birthday bashes either, ones that have 50 plus guests. I think birthday celebrations, past the age of 10 or 11 should be subtle and private and shared only amongst small numbers of close friends and family. Anything bigger than that (except maybe for your 50th or 80th or 100th birthday) seems like grandstanding and show-offy to me.
McDonald’s. I simply shudder at the thought of McDonald’s.
Velveeta. It’s not even cheese! Why would anyone use Velveeta to make macaroni and cheese when there is perfectly good real cheese in every grocery store and even 7–11?
Soda. There is nothing good about soda. It’s empty calories, it’s full of sugar, and it tastes terrible. I’d much rather drink un-sweetened freshly brewed iced tea, or a glass of cranberry juice, or fresh squeezed orange juice, or an ice cold glass of milk. If I were going to consume that many empty calories and sugar, I’d sure want that item to be a big glazed donut, or a cinnamon roll, or a bear claw.
Ben Stiller, Will Ferrell, and Adam Sandler. Not funny. Bad acting (over acting in the case of Ben Stiller). I just don’t get it. They’re like the Tom Cruises of the comedy world. It’s too bad, because Ben Stiller’s parents, Jerry Stiller and Ann Meara are fantastic and funny.
OK I’m done with my rant. Now it’s your turn.