This is for the ladies, does it bother you to be addressed as Mam by a stranger?

Can be a store clerk , a waiter, basically anyone.

I have become more used to ma’am having lived in the south in America. It’s still a little odd to be called ma’am. Not that it makes me feel old, it’s just unusual to me or very formal or feels too hierarchical and usually unnecessary. If someone wants my attention they can just say, “excuse me…”

If they know my name I prefer my name than the generic ma’am or miss. Usually my first name, but Ms. Lastname is ok too in certain situations. I don’t mind Mrs. Lastname either in social situations if they know I’m married. Usually, I’ll let the person know they can just call me J. I really don’t like Miss Firstname, but I deal with it when parents insist their kids use it.

It makes me feel old. I prefer Miss.

Thanks Ladies, and was wondering if I spelled Ms, an Ma’am wrong, but you know my spell check said nothing.

Yes M’am does make me feel a little old! I dislike Miss too, but neither really bothers me. It makes me think that the callers are being exceedingly polite.

Where I’m from, people sometimes call young ladies ”小妹” which is “little sister” in Chinese. Even worse is being called ”美女” (“Beauty”) by creeperiffic uncles.

It’s not common for people to call women Ma’am here. It has happened once and it made me feel old! I’d prefer they just said thank you or excuse me or whatever unless they know my name. Then I’d prefer Dr or Ms.

Also be reminded that those of us who spent too much time in the military say Sir/Ma’am as a reflex. I’ve called 30 year olds sir or ma’am on accident.

I think it is actually “Ma’am”; an abbreviated form of madam. Down here in our part of Texas it is kind of the standard way to address women of any age if you are not on familial terms.

Not any worse than being called “Hun” or “Sweetie” by a waitress at the Kettle.

@blackberry That’s the hierarchical thing. When I meet someone who uses ma’am I think southern or military. In the south it feels hierarchical too. Like you better use the proper address or you’re in trouble and/or showing horrible disrespect.

@All just to add to what I said to @blackberry, the absence of ma’am is seen as disrespectful and uneducated in what is expected and proper when you live in the south. A friend of mine from Mississippi who taught high school, when she move to the St. Louis area she at first thought her students in the Midwest were rude and going to go the way of being hooligans. I mean, when she called on a student they did not respond “yes ma’am” just “yes”. Blasphemy! Then after a few months she realized the kids were great, and they were respectful, just didn’t use ma’am.

One man I knew who led a Boy Scout troop said if those boys don’t use ma’am and sir when responding to or asking an adult they are in serious trouble. Serious trouble.

I don’t mind it. It’s hard to feel old at 25, and sir and ma’am are pretty standard here in the south. “Miss” wouldn’t necessarily bother me, but I think it sounds weird and I don’t necessarily prefer it over ma’am. I’m pretty sure no one has ever called me “Miss.”

What someone calls me is really the least of my worries. As long as it’s not rude or insulting, they can call me whatever the want.

I’ve never minded it, I have always preferred to be addressed somehow. If strangers talk to me briefly (as in a store, restaurant, whatever) it seems a bit abrupt to me if there is no address.
I prefer “Ma’am” to “Hey, Lady”.

From time to time, here in the NE US, I have been addressed as “Excuse me.” I don’t mind. Another alternative is “Good morning.”

When I was in my 20’s it kind of threw me, but not any more. I don’t hear it much though. It’s associated with good manners, which seem to have gone by the wayside.

@JLeslie And it does flow better to speak without saying it.

@Blackberry Just to bring up race for a minute it especially makes me uncomfortable when a black person with a southern accent calls me ma’am or Miss J. It just feels like such a throw back to the good ol’ days of the Gone With The Wind south. ~

Lol yea I can understand that. And depending in their tone, it can sound like they’re being sarcastic.

This only happens to me when I am in the States but I don’t mind at all. Over here I am more likely to be called Love, Sweetheart or Darling. I don’t mind those either. I’m all for terms of endearment and can’t remember the last time they were used in a condescending tone towards me.

I wouldn’t like it and have never had anyone address me that way too young to be called mam, it’s always Miss. Mam sounds old in my opinion.