If you have lost a sibling, how do you answer this question?

I had a sister, for six weeks, she died at that age born with a hole in her little heart.
I was only 3yrs old myself & had no recollection of the tragic event until I was old enough to have it explained to me properly.
Although I often think of what it would have been like to have a sister, I have two brothers, whenever i’m asked how many siblings, I answer with the facts…two.

It generally depends with me how comfortable I feel with the person or how much feel like revealing myself in that setting. Sometimes I’ll say, I have three but one of them died when we were children. Most of the time now though, I’ll just say that I have two and possibly talk about Aaron in a subsequent conversation if we get close.

I say both depending on the circumstances. Sometimes I might want to expand on my sister being deceased and at other times, I may not. Be guided by your instincts. There isn’t a ‘right’ answer.

My MIL answers differently in different circumstances. I’ve known her since she was in her 50’s and it was not unusual for her to say she has 4 living sisters. Then she often would continue talking about how many she had total (although she states it including her saying we were ten children rather than saying she had 9 brothers and sisters. That might be a language thing) and then additionally sometimes she launches into how some of them died. However, keep in mind when I am with her she is usually talking to family members or very close friends.

I brought up her age only because as people get older it is less odd for someone to mention a sibling had died. Although, certainly young people lose siblings too.

My FIL always answers with how many sisters and brothers he had total. I never hear him say who has died and who is alive or how many have passed away unless he is specifically asked.

My grandmother always said she had two brothers and didn’t elaborate unless there was specific reason to. They both died fairly young. In their 30’s and 40’s.

I think it partly might also depend on whether the sibling died when you were so young you don’t remember them or didn’t know them. That’s not the case for you though. I’m sorry to hear you list your brother.

While I haven’t lost a sibling I did lose my only grandchild to Sudden Infant Death When anyone asks me if I have grandchildren I say yes but he died as a baby. I know how strange that question can be, I find my answer is always very conscious and there is always a hesitation before answering.,

I would probably give the number of living siblings. That way, follow-up questions will be less uncomfortable. I would not want to hear, “And what does your third sibling do?”

I am not speaking from experience.

I do have trouble with questions about my “parents”, since one is deceased. I never seem to choose the right phrasing to avoid follow-ups.

I don’t have a go-to answer for this. I find this question always catches me a little off guard. Maybe because it’s only been a few years since my brother died.

I think I usually answer in past tense. I had three siblings. Further explanation depends on the situation.

I’m sorry you lost a sibling. :(

I would say that ‘I have 2 brothers’ and, depending on the circumstances, I might add ’...and I had another brother who died’.

If asked about my parents I would say ‘It’s just my dad now’. I suppose you could say that phrase for your siblings: ‘it’s just my two brothers now’ but you would be inviting further questions I think

I say, “there were six of us but we lost my baby brother. I hate drugs.”

I usually say that I am one of eight children. If asked for more details, I will name names, starting with my oldest brother (who passed in 2000), his twin (who passed shortly after birth in 1936) and my older sister, my younger brother and my younger sisters.

I’m with @janbb. If it is a casual or new acquaintance I say two sisters and one brother. If I get to know the person better, I can tell them about my sister who died before she reached 50.

I am so sorry for your loss, @chyna. Losing a sibling is very hard. It took me almost four years to really get to a comfortable place with my sister’s loss.

If asked how many siblings I have, I say “there are 7 of us”
(my brother died a year and a half ago, my oldest brother, but there always were 7 and until a certain point, in my mind there always just is).
Or I’ll say 4 girls and 3 boys. He lived till his mid 60s, he will always be part of my life. I would only say more if it’s someone I am closer to.

chyna -I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve recently lost your brother. I can’t imagine the pain of losing a sibling because it hasn’t happened to me yet. I have only one brother and even though I say I have never lost a sibling, it isn’t exactly true. I lost a sibling before I was born. My brother before me was a stillborn. Nothing was wrong with him but he got tangled in the umbilical cord and it choked him. It was very traumatic for my mother so she didn’t talk about it much but all 7 of us survivors knew about it. I always felt a little sad that I lost my big brother before he even had a chance at life. I used to think of him sometimes even though I never knew him. His name was Michael.

I think I will say in future if asked, that I was one of 7 (sorry Michael) but there are only….of us left now.

My brother passed away when I was 6, he was 21, I had 5 siblings and I still do, 3 sisters, 2 brothers, through and through it will always be that way.He is in my heart. I will pray for you and your brother, I am so sorry for your misfortune.