Would you clone Jesus?

If the cloning is successful, I would like to see if Jesus really has so much magic like the Bible said :P

Yes. I’m not religious, but I’d definitely find it interesting to clone Jesus.

Which one? My old job had 4 guys named Jesus!

Okay, only 3; one went by his middle name because there were already 8 guys named José.

I’m curious as well. I agree with Mimishu.

As far as the last one to clone, I think that would fall in the neighborhood of Lavrenty Beria, or Nicolae Ceaușescu, or Ivan the Terrible, or Adolf Hitler… Jesus is way down that list. Since when is getting crucified a sin?

Clone a guy who never existed? Nah. I could think of more productive ways to use such hypothetical tech.

Nah, i’d do what Judas did & fuck him…err, over.

I would rather clone Captain Kirk.

We are more than our genetics. The social environment into which one is born will augment if not change their predispositions. While the DNA of Jesus may direct a superior intellect that can achieve a deeper understanding of the blessings and curses of human nature, the biases of culture will limit the quality of discovered truths and may have the potential for fallaciousness.

^^ I agree. But anyway… Let’s see. Da Vinci would be interesting, or Einstein. or Ghandi. The world could do with another Helen Keller (let her keep her sight and hearing this time), I don’t know if she’d make the world a better place, but I’d like to give Anne Frank another crack at it. I’d like to have a serious sitdown with Eleanor of Aquitaine. We could do a lot worse than bringing back Aphra Behn, Lady Blessington, Mary Wollstonecraft, Sarah Bernhardt, or the beautiful and talented Apollonie Sabatier. Yeah, Apollonie… Jesus who?

Might as well clone Ghengis Khan and set him up as a modern global corporatist.
Especially if TPP and TTIP get ratified we’re all doomed to endure that kind of abuse anyway.

That’s got to be an article from the onion.

^^Close

The article is written by Dr. Richter DasMeerungeheuer (which in English means “Doctor Richter The Sea Monster”), the author of such enlightening and informative articles as Christians Live Longer than Other Believers, Scientists Say, Liberalism Caused by Defective Gene, Astronomers Discover Alien Life, and of course First Scientific Proof of God Found (all earth shaking and, for many, urgent lifestyle-altering news, if true). As to Dr. Sea Monster: If you click on the name of the author, Dr. Richter DasMeerungeheuer, it takes you to a URL with the name BryanS, who appears to be a student at the University of Wyoming at Laramie (Go Cowboys!).

This was good:
“This DNA is unmistakably human, but does posses several small differences that have never before been seen. Several genes are present in the DNA extracted from the spear that do not exist in any other human, and their function is completely unknown.”

Even better was the statement in the “God Found” article which I found more incredible than the title: “Linguistic professors at Bob Jones University, long noted for its intellectual rigor…” Uh…

WIT, or the Wyoming Institute of Technology, doesn’t appear to exist anywhere on Earth except at WIT.org.

This is Satire like the Onion, for the reading pleasure of athiests, agnostics and pissy little theists who go out of their way to hunt and fume at sites such as WIT like good Christian Soldiers. BryanS and friends are having a good time with their extracurricular activity while padding their resumes for hopeful futures with the Onion, Saturday Night Live, etc.

Looking through the whole site it’s brilliant satire and appears to be the brainchild of matt stone according to “about wit page”

Hmm…if he could turn my water into beer, I sure as hell would.

Oh man. People already have trouble with the trinity – how are they going to deal with an analogy to a four-leaf clover?

Even if one were to clone Jesus (an actual, magical Jesus), I’m sure there would be some handy way to explain the lack of superpowers. Something in the cloning process would filter out the midichlorians or something.

I actually thought the satire on that site was of sub-par quality (and definitely well below the Onion’s standard)

Even if cloning were possible, it would be impossible to clone the perfect. I would never clone Jesus for to do so would leave us all doomed with no hope of any salvation.

Check out the Jobs section lmfao

”WIT requires custodian/ janitorial staff in our Cheyenne, New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles laboratories. Ideal Candidates: Must have 3+ years custodial experience and a valid driver’s license. Responsibilities: Cleaning lab facilities and equipment, removing trash from the property, and occasional groundskeeping. The job will include occasionally moving medical waste weighing anywhere from 100 lbs to 400 lbs, in black bags that can range from 4 ft. to 6.7 ft. in length. Occasionally these bags are disposed of in rivers (as a part of our environmentalism experiments, of course), so candidates should be able to think on their feet and improvise should these bags fail to sink properly, or should local law enforcement be confused as to which locations we’re dumping at. Compensation: $18,000 to $24,000 per year, based on experience. Includes health, dental, and visual insurance.”

No, he may look the same on the outside to perfection, BUT will his heart be as pure, and will he be the same on the inside i doubt it.

Craig Christ would be at the top of my clone list! Trust me, you won’t regret hearing this song and it’s only 3min

Why would we be doomed @Hypocrisy_Central? I mean, the belief IS that he WILL be coming back! It doesn’t say how.

My very own Personal Jesus ? Someone to hear my prayers? Someone who cares?

Hell yes!

@Safie If Jesus did exist, we have no clue what he looked like.

Why not?

Although, were it possible, I would clone The Jesus.

It would be interesting to find out what his IQ was.

However, Jesus wouldn’t become the Christ in a void. He was a product of his time. He was Jewish. His parents had a profound effect on him, too. He’d be missing all of that.

Remember the movie “The Boys from Brazil?”

If you yelled out “Hey Jesus!?!” He wouldn’t turn around, no one EVER called him “Jesus”.

@cheebdragon They didn’t? Yeah, that’s right, he had a middle name. What’s the H stand for?

Homo

Hallucination….hoax….?

He was a total hobo.

Watching an interesting show on CNN about James, the brother of Jesus. Somebody found a stone burial box that scientifically dates back to the time of Jesus. There is some writing on it that says,“James, brother of Jesus.”

It was probably Howard. After his ol’ man. Our father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name.

@Dutchess_III I mean, the belief IS that he WILL be coming back! It doesn’t say how.
In fact, it does have a very specific way the Lord will return.

It would be interesting to find out what his IQ was.
He is the one that gave wisdom to King Solomon, the whole universe was created through him, what would He not know?

that bats are not birds, for instance.

[never mind]

@Dutchess_III

Bearing in mind that neither of those were especially uncommon names for the time and place. Would be about like finding a grave marker from here marked Jim, brother of Bob.

Actually, it said, James, son of Joseph, brother of Jesus. They had a percentage of all of the ossuary that contained the name James (7%) Joseph (5%) and Jesus (2%) but the chance of all three names being on one ossuary were slim.

But, then again, the guy who had the ossuary wound up in court on counterfiet charges. Prosecutors claimed he added “Brother of Jesus” himself. But,then again, he was found not guilty.

All in all, it was a fairly interesting clip. From their take, Jesus just dumped his family to go a-preaching and they were really upset.

Here’s a 60 Minute thing on it, if you’re interested. It’s from 2008 so the trial was on-going at that time.