Which is more harmful to children: Parents that are neglectful/do not care, or parents that are abusive, like neonazis or religious fundamentalists?

Do you mean abusive because their beliefs are anathema to you or do you mean they are abusive to the children in other ways?

There are parents out there who beat their kids in the name of Jesus. But they’d do it even without Jesus. I have to say I think that would yield the worst outcome.

@janbb
Parents that teach their children hatred. That teach their children lies. That isolate their children from society, program them with behaviour that will cripple them emotionally and intellectually later in life. That is abuse.

My parents were a little of Column A, a little of Column B. So, naturally, I turned out to be a very well-balanced individual.

@ragingloli Yes, I see what you mean now. I don’t know that there is an either/or about it; I think depending on the amount of isolation and severity of the indoctrination or neglect, both are potentially traumatic.

The latter.

Why is this is a competition? Again and again people bring up the “this parent was worse than that one” game when very often the “bad” was simply bad.
The parent that kills or hurts the child, whether psychically or physically, is the worse parent. Parents can be bad in so many ways, ranking them by your own attitudes seems pointless and silly.
You yourself have so many hatreds, @ragingloli, that I’m guessing you were raised by the latter sort.

Both are damaging but, it also depends of the childs personality and temperament style.
Some people are more resilient than others which is why some can survive neglect and abuse and are smart enough and independent enough to transcend their backgrounds, while others are less so and suffer more long lasting effects. I had a less than stellar childhood, no major abuse, but alcoholism and varying degrees of neglect and I always knew I would do things differently when I became a parent and I did. Dysfunctional cycles can be broken but not everyone will have the insight and fortitude to do so, sadly.

Astonishingly, I concur with everything @canidmajor wrote.

I agree with @canidmajor and it also has a lot to do with the child’s personality and how much they’re able to utilize their personal resources to overcome the abuse/neglect.

I think that either case can have serious repercussions in the adult they result in. It can affect relationships, self-esteem. I probably think actual emotional or physical or sexual abuse is worse than simple neglect.

Theres no winner do they can’t be compared.

I would think that Neonazis are different from the other 2.

It’s not one or the other necessarily. Both can be harmfull, to the same degree. It is on case by case basis.

@ragingloli I hope you’re around to respond.

I had 1 of each. I am perfectly normal.~

I think being ignored is better than being abused. But that’s just me.

I think both are bad but having a parent who doesn’t care at all seems pretty awful to me.

I also agree with @canidmajor

You cannot measure one person’s pain against another’s. It doesn’t work like that. You cannot compare the effects of one abusive experience against another. The effects will be different based on the individual children as well as how the culture itself views said behavior (remember that what one culture labels as “abusive” is viewed as “normal” in the next one).

I hope what I just said makes sense.

I’m a mix between @trailsillustrated and @Coloma. My first inclination is to say the latter, but some children are so damaged beyond repair when parents are apathetic that there are exceptions to the rule. If the hate leads to harming others then that is never ok, but neglect can lead to harming others also. If we look at the individual child, and later those same children as adults, and if they feel adjusted and happy, many of the hateful people around my country probably feel happy and just done in their convictions.

I think eventually both parenting methods in the extreme can easily lead to self esteem issues, heightened anger, sadness, and other difficulties in life.

I still lean towards teaching hate as being worse, but they both aren’t good.

@ragingloli Is it true that some theists say that atheists abuse their children by bringing them up godless, lying to them? Are they right?

They probably do. People are haters. Simply raising your child to not believe in God is not abusive.

Similarly, some religious fundamentalist just bring up their children to be religious, not hate the ones who don’t.

And some atheists are abusive too (some more so than others). Nobody has a corner on abuse.

@snowberry That’s it exacty,
Also are all Neonazis theists and it means nothing anyway.

^^^
This is in general and not the place to start the ‘don’t blame poor religious people’ and ‘atheists are bastards too’ debate.

Nobody was stating abuse is an exclusive to religious people.

@whitenoise the original posting says” abusive like… religious fundamentalists…” It doesn’t have to say it is exclusive the logical conclusion seems to be If one is the opposite of religious fundamentalist then they get a free pass, no need to invesatigate them.
My first reponse

@whitenoise It’s always appropriate to put things in perspective. I certainly never had any such intention to start “the ‘don’t blame poor religious people’ and ‘atheists are bastards too’ debate’, so kindly don’t make assumptions.