Why do you answer a question without reading the details and responses from the OP?
It’s painfully obvious to the OP when this is done.
Is it laziness?
Are you only here for your own enjoyment/boredom and not the benefit of others?
Just curious.
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172 Answers
Why do you answer a question without reading the details and responses from the OP? Sometimes I don’t, because I think the questions are too obvious to read further details.
It’s painfully obvious to the OP when this is done. Yes, it truly is when the details are meant to explain the questions for better answers (it happens to me too), but sometimes the details don’t affect the questions much.
Is it laziness? Yes. I’m guilty of it sometimes.
Are you only here for your own enjoyment/boredom and not the benefit of others? For my own enjoyment, sure, but I help people when I can. That’s why I take time to read details and answer questions.
Just curious. Are you really curious? Or have someone here pissed you off because they didn’t read your details?
@prettypenny: This also annoys me, so I mostly ask my questions in General, but even there it doesn’t help. Sometimes adding “Please see details” in the main Q helps, mostly not.
Good luck with this.
And to answer your Q, mostly I try to answer the actual question, as defined by the details. Sometimes I miss.
@Mimishu1995: Look at the OPs “hometown” Q. The “Why” was stated in the main part of the Q.
First off, I did a little digging to figure out what the kerfluffle was, and I think I see the problem.
You seemed to get a little huffy with someone simply because you didn’t understand their answer. You asked why, they gave a reason, and you thought it was a location instead. It was much like the classic Who’s on first skit.
So what may seem to you like “not reading the details” may in fact be something else. It may be a misunderstanding… and it may be the person reading the response who is doing the misinterpreting.
Of course, human nature is such that it’s easier to accuse someone else of being lazy/stupid/evil/immoral than it is to admit fault.
Sometimes the range of answers shows people have interpreted the OP’s question differently. Sometimes we might just be lazy and not read the details or posts before ours. Sometimes I might read a question and choose not to read the answers that follow because I don’t want my own answer to be influenced by other people’s perspectives.
I will always read the OP’s full post before considering an answer. I will sometimes click on “follow” if I don’t have time to read all the other responses before answering (like if I’m in a rush and want to return to the question later on). Depending on how many responses there have been when I’m ready to compose an answer, and depending on the nature of the question, I may or may not read all the responses before answering. Like @Earthbound_Misfit said, I will sometimes not want previous responses to sway what I write.
I have not yet seen the “hometown question” so I have no idea what happened but will look at it as soon as I can.
Am I being lazy by doing that? I don’t think so, as detailed above.
Am I here solely for my own enjoyment and not to help others? I admit the first reason I am here is for my own enjoyment. If I were not enjoying myself here and it were solely sacrificial, then it would be more like a job. Since I’m not getting paid to be here, my enjoyment is paramount, since this is my free time. So yes, I use Fluther how I see fit, not necessarily in a way that pleases others.
My time is valuable. And I have a life outside of fluther. I don’t have the time to read everything and my answer was all that was really wanted, wasn’t it???
I’ve done this and I’ve paid the price, believe me. I pay more attention to the details section now.
But I also hang in Social because that’s where free-flowing discussion will take flight and that is where people are going to reveal their colors. This is a social site, after all. I have never seen a question or answer on this site of such importance that it could change the world.
Often, in social, I’ll arrive late, long after every possible answer to the question has been given and I will fill free take it beyond and do a little musing. I sometimes take hits for that, but I don’t concern myself with people who just can’t loosen up. They pay a price for that as well, regardless of what I think.
Yes, I’d love a cheese sandwich.
I am nowhere near being pissed and angry. Haha. Some of you read way more into these questions than you need to.
I was here for the beer. Where is it?
This is a two part question.
“Why” is a question that mankind has pondered since the dawn of time.
We have all wondered whether the madness of world events, or isolated incidents, had reason or planning. Is this the design of God, or His children left to deal with the ravages of sin and evil. We must focus our efforts to improving the lives of ourselves, and our companions, and I say companions as those others who occupy this small planet, through the wreckage of history and the carelessness of those who once held power, or a level of power that they may or may not have recognized they had, to change the landscape, and the future of civilization, if indeed we have a future. Otherwise, we will remain on the path of fear, and need, and the thousand longings we face every day through the course of our lives.
The second part of the question is “Do I answer a question without reading the details?”.
The answer is “Yes.”
apologies to Dr. Irwin Corey
Asking for clarification is now considered being huffy? Amazing. <shakes head>
Well I’m getting huffy. I want my beer!
Your question sounds like you are huffy. It’s not the asking itself, it’s how you word your question. And I didn’t mean to attack you. When I crafted that response, I didn’t know anything about the “hometown” question or any background story, so I was curious if there was something that bothered you and led to the wording of the question.
I’ve just taken a look at the hometown question. It seems to me that ⅔ of the answerers have understood and answered your question. There was only one particular jelly who didn’t seem to understand what you meant and refused to give the right answer. But when I read their responses, I had a feeling they were just being sarcastic, or was just giving you a “cryptic” response. I could kind of get what they meant in their answer to you. So is your problem no one here bothers to read the details in general, or just that jelly didn’t give you the straighforward answer in one question?
Come on! Don’t start a flame war please!
I love @Earthbound_Misfit‘s answer! I think the way people see a question isn’t always the same as the OP.
Even me talking now about what I’m talking about here could technically be off-topic because I am not answering why I specifically answer a question without reading the details, etc., and I haven’t talked about whether or not I’m lazy or here for my own enjoyment/boredom. I don’t event think I could answer this question because I’m not under the impression that I answer questions without reading the details. But I feel that the general theme is still relevant and worthy of discussion. I want you to understand that not all questions are simply black and white! (Sorry if the bold looks too harsh; I was just trying to stress it.) Is your mind open to other ideas or do you think your premise is infallible?
It’s annoying as hell when a question receives answers that the OP clearly tried to forestall in the details.
Even worse when that is the first answer and defines the question.
Like none of these people have ever been huffy before!
I usually try to read all the details before answering a question. But sometimes I don’t, either because the details are written in a rambling way that discourages me from continuing, or because they appear to be complete within the first sentence or two, and I anticipate repetition and redundancy. I’m not often sorry that I didn’t continue.
And, like @Earthbound_Misfit, sometimes I avoid reading answers if I want to give my answer without being influenced by others’ answers. Frequently, however, I do read all the answers.
And sometimes, I half-read the details, decide it’s not worth answering, then I read all the responses, and am stirred to respond to something someone other than the OP said. Some people seem to dislike this, but that’s how I Fluther, and I see others do it as well.
We all come to Fluther for different reasons, and we all have our interest captured by different kinds of things. It takes a certain spark to lead one to leave a comment – that’s not always going to come from the recipe of (1) Read the question. (2) Read the details thoroughly. (3) Read all the responses. That’s the risk you take when you leave a question on a public forum. You have to relinquish your ownership of the question – other people are going to respond as they wish.
And, as @Earthbound_Misfit also mentioned, sometimes the OP states a question + details in a way that appears perfectly clear to themselves, and yet is full of ambiguities for the readers to interpret in their own ways. I’ve seen this happen an awful lot here, and seeing the OP come back and complain indignantly is, well, kind of funny and kind of sad. The asker has to be able to let these things go.
Sometimes I am too lazy to read the details in full and, more often than not, if the details are really long winded, I’ll skip the question altogether (unless it’s a subject I’m really passionate about). Other times I will read enough to get the general gist and answer but ultimately, yes, not reading the details in full is down to my own laziness.
If I do help others in my answers that’s great but like @jca said, I am mostly here because for my own enjoyment.
Hmmm.
I always thought that the Social section was where you “relinquish your ownership of the question – other people are going to respond as they wish” and General was where you retained ownership?
It’s ‘kind of funny and kind of sad’ that Fluther has dropped all pretense toward being a Q&A site. Become a place where an asker can be belittled for expecting answers that are helpful and on-topic.
Although I really enjoy the social aspect, I, for one, still enjoy researching the occasional question and sharing the results.
@ibstubro I am not talking about the difference between General and Social. I am talking about letting go of the expectation that everyone who reads the question will understand exactly what the asker meant, and respond in exactly the way the asker expects.
I don’t believe in “belittling the asker” in any context. I don’t know where you got that from. Or perhaps that was not in response to my comment, though the rest appears to be.
Here’s the beer.- http://images.teamsugar.com/files/users/1/17470/22_2007/4749b_lg.jpg
I think I’ll have one too then sit back and continue to hear about how upset I am. lol
I’ve been a member of q&a’s for nearly a decade and I’ve asked a question very similar to this before. I actually thought of this question after my very first question that I asked here a few weeks ago, but I didn’t bother asking then. I just needed to know about pawn shops at the time. It happened to pop back in my head last night so that’s why I asked. It had nothing to do with my hometown question, but I sure do appreciate the advertisement here. ;)
Now that’s what I came for! That looks really really good right now.
I myself read every word in the details & each & every post, then, only after careful consideration, I take the piss & pour a large portion of sarcasm over the entire thread XD
How am I trying to flame @Mimishu1995? I think the people making assumptions about why I asked this question are the ones who are lighting the fire. I’ve seen this happen many times in the past. A new person asks questions about the habits of a community and everyone comes in and beats on their chest. How is one going to learn about a community if their questions are scrutinized? It’s not welcoming at all.
Am I wrong to assume that this question would have taken a different tone if a veteran had asked?
@prettypenny I think it’s just the way you phrased the details. All the options you list as possibilities places the fault in the answers and not on the OP.
I think most miscommunications are probably a little bit of both.
I’m confused. Why is it the responsibility of the OP to make sure the people answering the question read the details? It seems like a pretty straightforward question that should not be easily misunderstood.
@prettypenny Yeah I know. You may not try to flame, but how you worded the question rubbed people the wrong way. Read your details again:
Is it laziness?
Are you only here for your own enjoyment/boredom and not the benefit of others?
You used some really harsh words here. Imagine you are not the OP, but an answerer, how do you feel to read that? Won’t you be offended?
Also the fact that this question came out after the hometown question didn’t help…
And when I said no flame war, it was meant for everyone, not just you.
This is too much drama for me. Good lord people. You have too much time on your hands.
I asked a pretty simple question. One that has to do with courtesy. READ what people write before you answer. jeesh
Re: I’m confused. Why is it…
Was this addressed to my response?
I agree with @Mimishu1995 that the wording in the details seems a bit hostile. That was my first impression, anyway.
Okay, in which case…
@prettypenny I’m not saying it’s the OP’s responsibility to make sure people are reading the details. I do think it’s in their best interest to write details that won’t be easily read as being accusatory. People aren’t too keen when they feel like they are being accused of being lazy and only out for their own interest. Doesn’t exactly cultivate much of a discussion, you know what I mean?
The word lazy is hostile?
@prettypenny so what do think if I call you lazy?
“You are lazy @prettypenny! You only care for yourself! You come only to enjoy yourself!”
How will you take that?
btw- I never called anyone lazy. I asked it it was laziness. I should mention you all are a bit touchy too. jeesh
@prettypenny: The wording of all of it plus the tone. It’s my opinion. Apparently I’m not alone.
It could have been written in a less negative manner. “Do you read all of the OP’s details before composing an answer to a question? Why or why not? Please explain. ”
@prettypenny Even your question by itself puts the reader on the defensive.
Better options:
Do you answer a question without reading the details and responses from the OP?
Why do people answer a question without reading the details and responses from the OP?
Omit:
Are you only here for your own enjoyment/boredom and not the benefit of others?
In that context, laziness probably wouldn’t be read as hostile by itself.
It’s the Internet, tone matters. Or you could just add a lot of ridiculous smiley emoticons.~
Also @prettypenny, although you may not find being called lazy to be insulting, most people will not take too kindly to it. It’s not seen as a compliment.
@prettypenny I think you are being touchy too. In the hometown question the first answerer was clearly being sarcastic, yet you took it personally and bashed them for being unhelpful (although many other answerers gave you the right answer afterward). And then this question with all the wording. Why didn’t you just take it easy?
The wording of all of it plus the tone. It’s my opinion. Apparently I’m not alone.
Apparently I’m not alone in my sentiments. I received quite a few great questions.
Why all the defensiveness? With some of these responses you would think I asked why you had an abortion, not why someone wouldn’t read the details of a question being asked.
I was playful the entire time on my other question @Mimishu1995. I was not upset or touchy at all. Again, why is asking questions being considered touchy? I am shaking my head. This is unbelievable.
@prettypenny I don’t think people are being touchy. They’re just trying to explain how your question is being read.
The cliff notes version:
Why do you answer a question without reading the details and responses from the OP? It’s painfully obvious to the OP when this is done. Is it laziness? Are you only here for your own enjoyment/boredom and not the benefit of others? Just curious.
Why are you a lazy asshole? :P
I usually read the details and the OP’s responses, but sometimes it’s a case of a WOT being TL, so I DR it.
Then why did you ask this in the first place?
Only people who are selfish and lazy should be offended by my question. Just saying. So if you are, good luck with that kind of life.
It’s no big deal. Being misunderstood on the Internet happens to everyone.
I can feel the heat now. I’m out of here! I don’t want war.
Someone’s going to lose their membership in the 19YOC next month. ;-)
That’s all Mr. Acronyms has to say for now.
@Mimishu1995 Why did I ask? I thought Fluther was a site to get helpful answers to questions. That’s what I read at least. I would think it would be helpful to read the details to give an informative answer. I noticed that many people don’t read the details and give answers that aren’t truly answering the question that is asked. That’s why I asked this question. Sorry I did.
@prettypenny, all of the options you provided suggested there was a problem with the responder. Yet there are other reasons people might not answer a question in the way the questioner expected. For instance, as I suggested, the question might be poorly worded or ambiguous. The responder might choose not to read the previous posts deliberately. All the available options in your question present as quite accusatory and have consequently led to the negative responses above.
Response moderated (Personal Attack)
No, I have not had an abortion.
Just to say, I was in no way bothered or offended by the question, its details or its tone.
I shall leave that to the “experts”, I only had fun with it, only a question after all.
My favorite was the time that a moderator told me my question was too question was too long, and that part of it was best placed in details. I argued that doing so would change the basic intent of the questions. My options were do as I was told, or drop the question.
Of course, no one read the details, so I received answers that were not relevant to the OP. When I noted that, the moderator was quick to tell me that there was no way insure that the details were read, or included in a response.
Look at the question here:
“Why do you answer a question without reading the details and responses from the OP?”
If this question was posted in General, I would have no response because it’s not directed at me. Simply put, ‘I don’t answer questions without reading the details.and at least the initial discussion.’
Since it’s a social question, I have to admit that I’ve wondered the exact same thing many, many times.
I think there are some jellies getting their Irish up on this on this thread that could very honestly answer, “I don’t, as a rule, answer questions without considering the details.” and be done with it.
I think everyone, OP included, is taking things a bit too seriously.
Scroll to the top and read @Espiritus_Corvus‘s response.
Japanese whisky is getting all sorts of awards.
If you put whiskey in an aquarium would the fish get hammered?
Only the hammerhead shark.
Pretty sure that was not a new member.
Talking Heads…“same as it ever was…”
If it wasn’t a new member, then that’s just ass sad. They mentioned on here, or that other question about where peeps live, that we all have too much time on our hands.
LOL
That’s a pity. She asked a lot of questions. I don’t see anything above that warrants taking your bat and ball and going home.
I don’t understand why these new people feel like it’s an immediate ‘all or nothing’ call. Stop logging on for a while…no need to delete the account.
@ibstubro Not all people are sane or rational.
@ibstubro I don’t think it’s just ‘these new people’ who decide they’ve had enough and close their accounts. Plenty of long-term members have done the same. It’s her choice to close her account if she doesn’t feel Fluther is right for her now or for the forseeable future.
Plus, the site is rather cliquey. Many people have been here for a long time and are friends. That can be hard for someone new (or someone returning who experiences the site as a new member) to take or understand. I think it was @prettypenny who noticed she’d provided an answer on a thread and received no great answers but a long-term member then posted almost exactly the same thing and received a host of GAs. Sure it’s only an online site, but there are people behind the words here and sometimes such unfair treatment, whether meted out on purpose or not, can feel pretty harsh. Or maybe she’s having a hard time in her real life and decided Fluther wasn’t helping. I’m sorry she’s gone. Whatever her reasons are.
I, for one, had sent an encouraging word to both @prettypenny and @prarierose, two ostensibly new members that showed promise and had a hard time making the leap from Fluther’s stated purpose to Fluther’s current reality. I’m always in hopes that a lifeline will keep some of these people around long enough to form Fluther friendships of their own.
I re-joined Fluther in earnest about 18 months ago, so I’m relatively new. I had joined a couple of years before and found Fluther so inhospitable that I just stopped using it (but didn’t delete my account). When Askville slammed the door, I came back to Fluther and, against much resistance, led an influx of new members. Even then, having brought my own support group, there are times I wouldn’t have made it without the friendship and support of @Dutchess_III and @coloma.
“Fluther is not a social site.” Bullshit. Fluther has been a social site first and foremost as long as I’ve been here. Maybe more of the members that don’t have an agenda shoved up their butt need to make a point of offsetting the influence of those that do.
Above all Fluther values opinionated people, but it seems to have reached the point where only existing opinions can exist, much less thrive. New members need a little welcome, and a little grace.
^^ Bravissimo! Grazie mille!
I’ve been guilty of this on occasion, especially if the question is one giant, run on sentence with no paragraph breaks. Most of the time I pay attention but, occasionally a critical detail will be missed in a speed reading moment. Easily enough corrected once it is brought to ones attention. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
People are saying it isn’t always the reader’s fault. It is possible the OP didn’t word the details in a way that was clear and easy to understand. It is possible the OP was ambiguous. The OP knew what he or she were trying to say, and made the mistake of thinking everyone could get inside his / her head and understand as well.
You didn’t see your details as being hostile. Everyone else does. That is a good example.
I agree that we need to be nicer to newbies. I’ve said this on here before. But in two questions, this user just busted up in this bitch accusing us of shit we haven’t done, and then is the first to insult users. Fuck that.
Let me see if I’ve got this right. Usually when a user complains about another user being rude because they’ve used the words lazy and bored everyone will tell that user to lighten up. It’s just the internet after all.
Now I’m seeing many of these same users who tell others to lighten up get all hostile because someone used the words lazy and bored. Such awful words.
Double standard?
@nutallergy I prefer to use the words ” overlooked” or “misread.”
Prettypenny did no such thing symbeline. That was playful banter in the other question. She only became defensive here when SHE was accused of things she didn’t do. Reread the thread and quit taking her comments personal.
So you joined up just to talk about this?
I signed up to answer a question about television.
A little odd that you know everything about Prettypenny’s intentions. If you’re that perceptive, and not a sock puppet, you should be able to do the same with every member here.
Not sure why the hostility. Prettypenny was not hostile and I wanted to point that out. I also wanted to point out the double standard I noticed.
@nutallergy There was probably a lot of unnecessary hostility from both sides. @prettypenny wasn’t exactly an exception. Sarcasm is just passive-aggressive hostility.
You are right fluthernutter, but can you blame prettypenny when all she was doing was defending herself? She was called a troll and insane and irrational. For what? There are at least five other users on this thread that are not using their original account.
I’m sure it’s not a shocker that I am her. I deleted my account because I had no intention of coming back. Then my curiosity got the best of me and I took a look at this thread. I came back to defend myself.
My dog was called Penny & she was very pretty…that is all.
Well, you seem drawn to the site, @prettynutpennyallergy.
I hope you can get past the brouhaha and stay a productive member.
Did you read my last above post? You have to understand that Fluther is different things to different people. It was started as a strict Q&A site. Any socializing was kept to Meta. Eventually, the questions were divided into General and Social to allow for gaming and strictly opinion questions. Eventually, Social became dominant and Fluther became largely a social site. To a large extent a member’s expectations depend on when in this evolution they joined.
^I like the nickname.
Am I right to assume that this thread would have turned out differently if a veteran of the site had asked?
So…how’d the TV question turn out?
Fun! Lots of good memories of crappy television viewing.
I’m sure it’s not a shocker that I am her.
It was, indeed, painfully obvious.
There are at least five other users on this thread that are not using their original account.
Well I don’t know who you were/are before prettypenny. I’m going to assume you’re another member, because otherwise I don’t know how you would even know that as a newbie. I’ve been here for years and I have no clue who has secondary accounts and which ones they are, save for one.
I’m not a mod but I’m going to permit myself some slight advice. While it’s not against the rules to have more than one account, how you use them is what counts. I’m not sure if creating several accounts to backup another one of your own is thin ice, but it’s getting there. I would consider that deception if you hadn’t admitted it. Secondary accounts for deception is against site rules.
Now I know you’re probably going to jump down my throat telling me it isn’t deception or that I’m trying to rob you of your right to defend yourself, but like it or not, it IS a rule.
Am I right to assume that this thread would have turned out differently if a veteran of the site had asked?
If they had asked it the same way you did, I can assure you that most people wouldn’t have given them special treatment just because they’re vets.
Yeah. OK. I disagree, but whatever.
I don’t jump down throats, unlike some of you. Have fun.
I am confident that if I or any “old timer” came to Meta and asked a question that was worded the way this one was, asking if people are lazy, etc., I (and any others who asked it this way) would be receiving the same treatment that the OP received here. I would expect it in my case. I wouldn’t expect any fans if I worded things this way.
Thing is, vets have asked questions that gave them this same type of treatment, it’s not like we’re making shit up here.
I resent being called a “vet” no, no, I much prefer “experienced bastard”
I can be lazy and I’m not afraid to admit it. The only reason I can think of for not reading details is laziness. I’ve been guilty of it. Why is this word so damn offensive to some of you?
@Symbeline People put up with so much shit here from veterans. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. I disagree.
I mean experienced bastards. Sorry. :)
@nutallergy Here’s a bag of peanuts. Either munch out or mellow out. Life’s too short for this stuff.
@nutallergy Nobody puts up with shit from veterans here,but most long term members are valued within the community. We are much less likely to put up with shit from newcomers that blow into fluther town and stir up trouble and appoint themselves mayor and sheriff all on their 1st day in Dodge. lol
People can have a tiff and get over it and move on without needing to resort to histrionic reincarnations.
I’ve taken some lumps on occasion and have not felt the need to stomp off in a huff and then re-invent myself again. It is possible to disagree and move on without feeling the need to adopt a fictitious new identity.
You know what? I can be an indecisive person. I get fed up with all of the internet in general and I delete all of my accounts wherever I have them. Then I miss the internet so I return. I’m not the first to do this. It’s easier to create a new account than go through other channels.
I did not appoint myself as sheriff and make demands. I asked a question.
I’m here to enjoy myself and there was nothing rude about my question. Only some were offended by the word lazy. Many others were not offended. It was just a question that had nothing to do with any other question I asked.
I’m not a troll and I’m not irate. I am not the one who needs to chill.
Okay, fair enough. We chill, you chill and we’ll take it day by day. We’ll see how the road runs it’s course.
@nutallergy Indecisive is just a nice way of saying easily bored, wishy washy flake haha
Um, not its not. I’m not easily bored and I’m not wishy washy and I don’t flake. I have anxiety that causes problems for me, especially when it comes to making decisions. If you want to poke fun at a person with an anxiety disorder that’s on you. Ha. Haha haha ha. Lololo
I thought this whole pointless debate was over…
I don’t know about the others, but I was just trying to point out to @prettypenny where their question went wrong (and settled the issue which might have been the cause of this question). And @prettypenny still stuck to their thought that they had done nothing wrong and we were the villians. I left this thread because things were getting nowhere and only the heat showed up. Now I want to do the same thing as @Adirondackwannabe said: chill, all of us.
It’s just a question. Why beat someone up over a question?
It’s just an answer. Why beat someone up over an answer?
Intended as a companion, not competition answer with @chyna.
@ibstubro Because beating someone up over a question makes a newbie leave.
@Mimishu1995 You started the heat with the very first response by assuming that I was pissed. You started this pointless debate. All I did was ask a question that has been asked many times before. Search if you don’t believe me. Leave if you want, I don’t care, but I’m going to defend myself when you accuse me of something I did not do.
Thank you @chyna
Edit: Oh forget what I said. I started the heat. Sorry. Happy now?
@prettypenny Mimishu’s response was mature, and in no way aggressive. Don’t go blaming her for all this, she didn’t start nothing. Seems to me all you want to do is fight.
Just defending myself. I was never pissed.
@Symbeline How would you like it if you asked a question and some users automatically assumed you were pissed and started referencing a previous question that you had asked and assumed you were pissed on that question too? If I had asked this question and the other with my original account that I created many years ago I would not have the same answers that I received with this one. Everyone would have been cool (with the exception of a jerk or two.) I’m flabbergasted. Not pissed.
* pulls up seat *
Who has the popcorn?
I do! I also have a bucket of beer. Enjoy. :)
Are you the sheriff now? lololololo
Continue with the bullying. I’ve done nothing wrong.
How about we all just ditch this thread and move on? Someone ask a question about favorite kinds of beers or popcorn or something.
You can all move on @dxs but I don’t feel welcome here.
There are plenty of Jellies in the sea—this is not everyone.
@Coloma Needs more beating; there’s still lumpy bits.
@nutallergy First impressions mean a lot, and you’re first impression was “looking for a fight”. That may not be accurate, but it’s how you first came across. At least you have a sense of humor though; I wasn’t sure if you did or not, and it’s an essential trait here.
I don’t exactly fit into any cliques, yet I seem to be generally respected even if I’m not universally liked. Whether one is liked or not and whether one is accepted or not are two separate things.
@nutallergy: you accuse @ Coloma of making fun of you because you have anxiety. I don’t see anything that she said has anything to do with anxiety. As for beating up a newbie and making them leave, as was stated previously, it’s no different than anybody else posting on here in a way that others might take issue with.
It’s okay for some of you to be offended by the word lazy but I can’t defend myself when Coloma calls me wishy washy and a flake because my anxiety causes me to be indecisive? There’s that double standard again. (you were the one to accuse me of being a troll jca)
Nobody said you can’t defend yourself. But accusing @Coloma of making fun of you because you have anxiety is inaccurate.
You are putting words in my mouth. I explained that my anxiety causes my indecisiveness after Coloma stated that indecisive is a nice way of saying easily bored, wishy easy, flake. Lol
Telling a person with an anxiety disorder that they are wishy washy and a flake is kind of hurtful. Just saying.
Coloma has a habit of not being understanding of those with mental illness so I’m not out of line with my comments.
@nutallergy I think it’s really unfair to use your anxiety disorder against anyone here, @Coloma didn’t deserve that. I also have an anxiety disorder (as do a number of people here) so I understand what you are saying about making decisions and then regretting them, I do the same but I really don’t think @Coloma meant to make fun of your mental health in her answer. Also, you’re saying that we shouldn’t be offended by the word “lazy” and yet you are offended when someone suggests that you might be “easily bored”. How is that more offensive than lazy.
In your defence, I didn’t find your initial question offensive, I’m not worried about being called out for my laziness. I think what started this debate was your hostility to @Mimishu1995 for asking if you were pissed off. The sarcastic tone of your answers (for example: Asking for clarification is now considered being huffy? Amazing. <shakes head>) came across as a bit hostile especially as none of the first few answers to this question where rude to you, simply asking if you are pissed off or explaining what gave someone the impression that you were “huffy” like @jerv did.
All this thread proves is how important tone is. You may not have been pissed off but the tone of your answers was very defensive which then caused others to be on the defensive right back. I have seen many experienced bastards (!) on Fluther get called out for similar things that you are being called out for on this thread.
I hope you don’t feel like I am being hostile towards you, that is certainly not my intention, I’m just trying to explain to you how I see it. That doesn’t mean I am right, it’s just another insight. I hope you stick around.
@prettypenny: “It’s painfully obvious to the OP when this is done.”
I try to read the full details of each question. Often, the details are required to understand the real question. The question’s title is often just an advertisement – a way to get people to read the real question, as many questions are complex enough to not work well in the title field.
@prettypenny: “Is it laziness?”
I know people do this, but I don’t know if I could attribute this to laziness. My guess would be that people are busy or prefer the title version of the question.
@prettypenny: “Are you only here for your own enjoyment/boredom and not the benefit of others?”
This brings up the complex issue of altruism and whether we do anything for others if we derive pleasure in doing so. For me, however, I think I am here for a host of reasons that even I am not aware of.
@Coloma‘s comment was written before you mentioned anxiety, so it was in no way written with any knowledge of your anxiety.
@nutallergy My definition of “indecisive” was just that, a definition, there was nothing personal about it. Where did I say “you” were a wishy washy flake? Do not assign meaning where there is none and try to have a sense of humor, that is all I intended.
Secondly, I have no freaking idea WHO YOU ARE, so I know nothing about your anxiety issues.
As far as this “history” of mine of not being understanding of those with mental illness. well….while I feel bad for those with issues my number one priorty is protecting myself from the fallout of others issues. Your carrying on here shows your level of immaturity, making a mountain out of a mole hill and now insisting on dragging this ridiculous argument on and on.
Your behavior is not conducive to making you the poster child for why we should have tolerance for unstable personalities. Let-it-go, can you do it?
I double dog dare you to not-post-one-more-word.
Wow…
We may not be lazy, but it seems we all have a whole lot of time in our hands.
@nutallergy…
I hope you stay around.
… And word your questions a little less provocative, or realize the consequence of attracting heat if you don’t.
It’s called tl;dr duh we get it.
Double dog dare Coloma? Thanks for the middle school flashback of the days I was bullied. Who is being immature? Leave the question if it bothers you but quit telling me (or daring me) to leave my own question. K, sheriff?
There is a point there ^^, @Coloma.
just saying, no offense
@nutallergy I was being straight to the point and humorous, no bullying, I thought “double dog dare” was quite funny, and it worked for a little while anyway.
@whitenoise Point taken, I am happily riding off into the sunset and abandoning this ghost town. ( lurve to you ) lol
Lurve you too, @Coloma.
I truly do!
I TRIPLE DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU!!! So there. (I happen to agree with your post, @Coloma.)
Also, she never called you a wishy washy flake. I know because I double checked. Those words only appear on your comments @nutallergy.
Me- You know what? I can be an indecisive person. I get fed up with all of the internet in general and I delete all of my accounts wherever I have them. Then I miss the internet so I return. I’m not the first to do this. It’s easier to create a new account than go through other channels.
Coloma- Indecisive is just a nice way of saying easily bored, wishy washy flake haha
hmm
Don’t give yourself so much credit @Coloma. I deliberately avoided this question for a day or two and did not see any of the responses since my previous post until this morning. I also don’t peruse this site 24/7. Nothing you said “worked.”
@Coloma Hey! What happened to happily riding off into the sunset and abandoning this ghost town?
It is snowing right now. April 8th.
Southern NY feels like winter.
We’re supposed to have a storm, but I can’t find it! Where is my storm??!
@fluthernutter Coloma, Hey! What happened to happily riding off into the sunset and abandoning this ghost town?
It looks like I’m not the only one who is indecisive easily bored, wishy washy flake haha.
ooh, pretty. look at the lightning
I’ve had enough of this bickering. I’m abandoning this threat until my next post! ;-(
Bickering? It’s funny banter. Haha lolo
Sometimes I think I do but then someone else will give an answer that makes me doubt myself and when I go back an re-read the original question I find I have misinterpreted or glossed over some of the details, sometimes mis-comprehending them, sometimes not even seeing them at all; it is like reading a new question.
@nutallergy Agreed, nothing like funny banter to get my juices flowing. Here, have some peanuts, after a few convulsions I’ll give you some epinephrine. ;-)
Is it always this slow on a Friday evening? Do Coloma and I need to liven it up?
^^^ What? haha
Party at my place, making Pistachio toffee bars. Epinephrine on standby.
An epipen party! Cool I’m in.
I have an urge to mess with @Coloma!
^^^ Haha…well ya know, we wouldn’t want @Nutallergy to die, maybe just torment her a little. ;-p
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