Why am I obsessed with boys?

You seem to have nothing else in your life to focus on. You should try to find hobbies, sports, a part time job, a club such a drama club in your area to shift your focus. Once you find something else that you love to do, you will find that you will be thinking less and less about boys and more on the things that you are interested in.

@chyna Yeah good idea… I have so many other interests and so many dreams but boys just destroy everything.

How comfortable are you with yourself? Are you ok with being alone? You might want to practice being alone for an extended period of time.

Also, boys are horrible creatures.

@hominid Oh boy don’t I know. I seek idiot-boys too, boys who don’t really care much or that make me feel like Im not good enough. So I try to keep them interested constantly and it wastes my energy. I go home and crash! Its that bad.

Because you are young? You’ll bore of them eventually. Hopefully, your own life will become much more interesting than all this fake drama.

Not trying to be mean but, based on your other posts, I think you have a self-esteem issue that you need to address. It is like your entire self-worth is based on whether or not boys are interested in sex with you.

@rojo They’re almost always interested in having sex with me, but nothing else unless i trick them and thats where destruction takes place.

@rojo I have self-esteem issues not because of shallow reasons but because I doubt all the time. I am very confident. See, its weird.

I don’t believe in good and bad, or right and wrong. I have understandings of whats a good behavior and whats not, and whats the best way to act in circumstances, but my mind is pretty much a blur. All I know is that I don’t know anything. So although Im very confident in my values and passions, I dive into humans (boys specifically) and can’t find a way out once I do. I desire living this wonder called life with them, experiencing another’s body and mind, growing with/learning and also sharing/teaching.

I can relate, sort of. I used to get overly excited about girl prospects that tied up all my energy and then never panned out.

It’s not the most efficient way, maybe, but one thing that worked for me was to just observe myself as I went through each event. Eventually, I could catch myself before I got too wrapped around the axle. I learned to treat the whole thing as “window shopping,” so I started getting less agitated by a new prospect and had a progressively easier time letting go. It also helps to observe the balance of energy going in. How much effort are you putting out vs how much they are putting out. If you’re doing too much heavy lifting, then you need to pull back and see if they respond.

There’s also an option to dive into yourself, not in a selfish way, but to understand who is the one who needs all this attention or who is somehow incomplete without a guy. It’s a seductive thought—that a guy is going to rescue you somehow from yourself. I used to feel the same way about women, but once you realize who you are and once you turn that level of interest to yourself, you are bound to realize at some point just how limited that kind of thinking is.

Despite your beliefs at the moment, you are whole and free right now. You don’t need anything extra to be complete, because you already are complete. You don’t even have to learn a new way of thinking. All that’s needed is to drop false beliefs, such as the one you are holding onto in this question.

It is doubtful that this ‘obsession’ stems from nature but from nurture. If your family and/or community places strong emphasis on the value of a relationship (at a young age), this could be the reason. Others are peer pressure, raging hormones, immaturity, not believing in oneself, and the list goes on.

Please take comfort in that you are not the only one to feel this way. What many of us have discovered is that finding a partner that lives by most, if not all, of our personal ethics is the right fit. In reality, the success of a relationship boils down to the amount of mutual respect. Without that, it eventually dies out or ends quickly.

I have that same problem with girls! Guess we’re just normal!

@dopeguru The vast majority of boys are always interested in sex and many are not too particular with whom or what.

I think part of your psyche is broken and you don’t remember why. I recommend doing personal work to heal this. Until you do, you’ll probably continue to have strange attractions to unhealthy sexual encounters and drama.

i.e. Find a really good therapist (psychiatrist or relationship counselor).

Because you’re a kid and you don’t know better.

My theory is that it’s probably a side effect of being born in the 90s…...nothing good came out of that decade.

@cheebdragon and nothing good will come out of the 00 decade either!

Relevant: @dopeguru: How old are you?

I think she said before that she was in her early 20s.