Can you describe a time that you had a turning point in something you've struggled with for a long time?

When I came back from a trip in January, I found myself lighter and able to give up a lot of the pain around my Ex’s remarriage and the ending of a close friendship. Part of it was having to do with the New Year and a birthday and part of it had to do with realizing how fortunate I am in other ways.

When I was 14 I had a major turning point with my sexuality that I had been struggling with at the time. I started to envision myself living a lie, getting married to a woman, and never telling anyone I was gay. I even considered that ending my life might be an option because I could say I was quitting while I was ahead, as things would only get worse from then on. Wow. I am glad I did not think like that for long—when I realized I was thinking like that, it functioned as a turning point where I realized that no, in fact, it did not have to get worse and there was no way that I was going to live a lie. It took a little longer for me to finally “come out”, but I’ll always remember how I felt at the time and how it changed my life. I never “struggled” with it after that.

@DominicY I remember some of that, actually. Crazy to think we knew each other back then. I am so glad that you got to a place where you can be yourself.

I am subscribed to multiple Facebook pages for people with inflammatory bowel disease. Yesterday one of them posted a CDC anti-smoking ad and asked for our opinions.

The ad showed a woman who had smoked for many years and she told her story. She had developed colon cancer and ended up with a colostomy. She spent a good chunk of time talking about how insecure she felt about having an ostomy and how it hindered her life.

The ad did not bother me. Yes they portrayed ostomies in a negative light and yes they catered to your average person’s visceral “gross” reaction to ostomies, but I get that most healthy people do consider needing an ostomy to be one of the most horrible prospects they can imagine, so it makes sense that it gets used in these “scare tactic” type ads. I stated my opinion in the comments.

I read the other comments and was shocked to find that everybody else was OUTRAGED. “How DARE they portray this life-saving surgery as something so negative!” I learned that there is even a petition going around trying to ban this commercial.

I was happy to find that I couldn’t identify with this outrage. I have spent so much of my life being outraged about everything related to this topic. In that sense I can understand their reactions. I can. I’ve been there. But……maybe I’m not there anymore, and that’s actually huge for me.

I went back to the comments on the video today and found that my comment had been removed by the group admins. Apparently we’re not supposed to have an opinion other than outrage.

I think stewing in the anger associated my disease was one of the hardest parts of it for me and was hindering my emotional healing process. The physical stuff was rough and then the mental side of it hung on for much longer even after I got back to being physically well. I think I’m only just recently starting to fully come out on the other side of the whole thing and I feel great.

I keep having them on a daily basis since I quit smoking 4 weeks ago today. Triggers blind side me!

Oh wow, congratulations! You can do this, keep it up.

Thank you Mariah. Some of my triggers were taking me completely by surprise. Rick picked the 18 month old that I babysit up, and I instantly wanted a cigarette. He’s usually upstairs working so if he took a break and came down stairs he would watch her for me while I went outside.
Hell, the first time I saw my son after I quit was a trigger!

I struggled for more than a year after my mom died. I only found that I was coming out of it in January. It was only afterward that I could look back and see how depressed I had been and how that had affected my life.

Yes. The big question was when is killing justified. It seemed like it was hard to tell when it was justified. Until I was put in a position that somebody was trying to kill me. Then it made a whole lot of sense.

Who was trying to kill you @josie? What is the story here?

@Dutchess_III
My history is all over this site. If it matters to you, check it out.

When I finally got out of high school and found Fluther. Before that I thought I was just a piece of **** in the society and wasn’t worth living. No one listened to me because I thought so differently. I was excluded from my classmates. My family thought I was a total failure. One teacher even called me “the shame of the class”. Fluther has taught me that being different isn’t a crime, as I saw many of the “rules” being put onto me dramatically broken here. Now my view to life has changed a lot, and I see myself change too, for the better.

When I was in school studying to be a medical lab tech I struggled with the art of blood drawing (phlebotomy). I followed the instructions on how to do it exactly but it was hit and miss and mostly miss. When I got my first job working in a hospital lab my first assignment was “the bleeding room”. I was pretty scared of messing up. And I did. I could only get blood from about every other person for a few days and I wasn’t improving. I just felt so clumsy. Then a highly skilled phlebotomist told me to forget all that I learned in school and to draw blood exactly like he did it. It clicked for me and suddenly I was among the best phlebotomists. Of course soon after that I was transferred to the chemistry lab. HA!

@Mimishu1995 Congratulations! Good luck on that!
As to me, came out, I guess.
I’ve got several points

My dad left my mom in 2009 and now is dating someone almost 30 years younger than he is. His girlfriend recently moved in to his house with her baby (it’s her ex’s, not my dad’s) and they’re in the room next to me, and she always does stuff with my siblings, my dad and I. We never get any alone time with him anymore.

I had been struggling with it for years because I used to always have these hopes of the family getting back together and being how things were back before, especially since my parents never fought. One day my dad just decided things were over. My parents still talk and are still friends and sometimes we even go on vacation together, we’re even going on one in August. But those actions confused me because it seemed like they were saying my parents had a chance of getting back together.

My turning point was about two months ago when I was talking to my counselor she flat out told me, “I really hate telling my clients this, but there comes a point when you have to let things go. I know you’re still sad about the divorce but your dad has another life in mind in which your mother is not apart of. Being angry about it isn’t doing anything except for hurting you and ruining your relationship with your father. I think it’s time you let go of that idea that they will get back together, it’s time you accept the fact that this is how things are now.”

After she told me that I thought about it for a long time and realized she was right. The divorce was tearing me apart and my relationship with my dad was so strained, which was really sad because I used to be daddy’s little girl. So I realized that they were never getting back together and I have to accept that he’s with another girl now.