Is there anything like adversity to bring out the best/worst in people?

It’s true.

I’ve also gone through a lot of health things, and my most important friends hung on throughout. Many, many people came out of the woodwork to express their sympathy the first time I was sick – including people who are only mild acquaintances of mine. It was the people who were there for me the second time – after it was “old news” – who proved that they actually care.

And my own attitude in adversity told me a lot about myself as well. At first, I was very proud of how I handled things. As time wore on and being sick got very old – not so much. I was bitter and angry. After more time, I’ve healed – physically and mentally.

“Adversity introduces a man to himself.” -Albert Einstein

Definitely. It’s easy to be whoever you want while you go through the boring motions of life, but when something actually happens, that’s when you see how people really are.

That’s one (ultimately) good (but still bittersweet) thing about going through tough times. Shows you who’s really got your back.

Sorry you’re going through this. :(

Many people talk the talk but won’t walk the walk. It’s why, other than my husband, and a few family members, I don’t call people friends. Often their definition and mine don’t match.

Around 7 years ago I woke up and felt like death. I was living in a RV in my sisters backyard. I couldn’t stop vomiting all over her floor. Luckily it is hardwood.

Nobody was home during the vomitorium. My sister eventually did get home with her boyfriend. I was in a puddle of sweat and vomit was all over her floor and couch. I wasn’t concerned.

She was.. So her boyfriend dragged me into the car and they took me to the ER. Somehow I went through the triage thing quickly. Turns out my temperature was around 94º. That is apparently bad.

It was pretty funny. I got rushed passed a kid with a broken arm. In about five minutes I was surrounded by ten doctors. They started stacking steaming blankets on me to raise my body temp. It took a few hours to get moved to a normal hospital room. There was a Dairy Queen across from the hospital and my sister went to get me a cheeseburger and fries. I took two bites and vomited it back up.

So I was in the hospital for three days with a IV in my arm.

My sister pretty much was there 16 hours a day. And at the time she had a 13 year old boy and 7 year old twin girls.

My sister is The Strongest Person I know.

My wife and I have a saying: “When someone you love needs you, just be there.”

As such, over the years, we have spent countless hours in hospitals, emergency rooms, nursing homes, funeral homes, vetrinary hospitals, filling out paperwork, meeting with healthcare folks, etc. It got to the point where I had a doctor ask me if I was a doctor because I knew so much about an illness. “No, I’ve just done this a few times.”

Recently, the tables have turned a bit (my wife and I both were diagnosed with pretty big illnesses in the past two years) — so, you’d think all those people we helped would be ready, willing, and able to return the favor right?

Turns out, not so much. Actually, not at all. In fact, some are annoyed that our illnesses prevent us from helping them as much.

We are not happy at this turn of events.

In an early episode of Louie C.K. he mentions seeing an old woman with a walker, clearly in pain, needing help, and he thinks: “I’d like to help that woman and stop her suffering.” and then he thinks: “How much would I be willing to give to end her suffering.” “Would I be willing to give up drinking lemonade for a year?” After a thoughtful pause he says: “Nah. I might get thirsty in the summer.” And moves on.
I think many people don’t look beyond themselves.

Mine was just the opposite. I’ve hardly spoken to my sister in 12 years. I should say she has hardly spoken to me, since she’s the one who initiated it. She won’t tell me why. I love her and I miss her deeply but all attempts at reconciliation are met with a cold shoulder.
Then I got really sick in 2012 and was in the hospital for two weeks. I have little to no memories of my time spent there, but apparently my sister and brother in law where there every day. I spoke to her at the family reunion last summer, and for a couple of hours we set every thing aside and had a blast together, like we’ve always done, but that was the last time I spoke with her.

It’s like, why the hell don’t you show you love me while I’m ALIVE and can appreciate it?