Is life better with or without friends?

It depends on each individual. We all have a different need for human connection. If you are fine with having no friend then it’s OK. There are many loners out there. This question of yours cannot be answered in a define way since it’s subjective.

Like @Mimishu1995 said, it kind of depends on the individual. In life, there are introverts (internally focused thinkers), extroverts (externally focused thinkers) and people who fall somewhere in between on the spectrum. If you’re an introvert, you’ll probably be happiest with a few, really close friends – rather than a large group of acquaintances. I’m an introvert and I’m much happier with the very few friends I do have, because I feel like my relationships are much more rewarding and personal.

As you grow up, it also gets easier to determine what kind of friends you want, if you do decide you want some. A lot of younger people (though not always, of course) tend to be friends with anyone, and that’s when they start running into compatibility issues with people.

It’s okay to be discerning, even if it means you only end up with one or two friends, and even if it means you end up spending most of your time alone. A lot of extroverts I know couldn’t fathom why I spent so much time on my own, until I got kind of blunt with them and explained that sometimes I have a better time on my own than I do when I’m with other people. During those times, why wouldn’t I prefer to be alone?

Basically, do what feels right for you. But in the end, no matter what you decide, your decision should make you feel at peace, rather than sad. Go with your gut and good luck. :)

“It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company” – George Washington

The number of people I’ve met in my life who have been worth knowing in any great detail can be counted on my digits without removing my socks. I have gone entire years without any close personal relationships. My parents told me many years go that they don’t like me, and we’ve long since disowned each other and gone our separate ways. There have been times I’ve gone to long without talking to anyone that I’ve opened my mouth to speak to a cashier and had a bird-like croak come out as I suddenly realized it’s been months since I’ve spoken out loud.

My parents say they’d wish me a good-morning and I’d scowl at them and say, “I don’t do small-talk.” They said it was charming when I was six, not so charming when I was 16. When I find someone worth talking to, I’ll have conversations six or more hours in length; I once spent more than 24 hours in a row in a coffee shop talking to someone. I’m not anti-social, just picky.

My personal feeling is that you’re better off saving your time and energy for those people and situations which will reward your investment.

Life is better without crappy friends.
But way better with good ones.

Don’t settle.

I don’t think there’s really a good answer to this one. It’s a personal prefrence. I don’t need alot of friends to be happy. I’m a loner myself. Honestly, I like it that way. Too many friends is too much drama, in my opinion. The more friends, the more you have to keep up with everyone’s lives and who has time for all that nonsense? A significant other is plenty for me.

Studies show having a string support system makes us healthier and better able to cope with adversity. If you have that from family you might not need it from friends.

Being around bad friends isn’t worth it. Bad relationships, whether with friends, SO’s, or family are destructive to our mental and physical health. We tolerate it more with family members, which is understandable and more complicated, but for a friendship? No way.

Friendships should be almost completely trouble free in my opinion. Fun, supportive, very little stress, if any.

Sounds to me like you need different friends.

@JLeslie I don’t want “trouble free” friends. If I wanted unthinking, easy companionship, I’d buy a hamster. Friendship should be challenging. It should provoke. It should create the sort of creative friction which brings out the best in both parties. I think the reason people have such short, inconsequential relationships is because they’re built on sand. The smallest shift can send everything build atop it crashing down. A complex and difficult relationship is built on a bedrock of mutual benefit.

Friends exist only to eventually betray you.

@SmashTheState Why does trouble free mean ignorant and uninteresting? My friends have not had lobotomies.

I just don’t have to worry if I didn’t call one for three months, I can pick right up where we left off. We can hang out and talk for hours for days on end, or we can say almost nothing and just be with each other. If something bad happens they rush right in to help whether it be a phone call, or actually flying inti town, coming over if they live close by, etc.etc. they make me feel that they want to be with me and enjoy my company and I live being with them. We talk about everything from make-up, to health, science, politics, religion. We disagree and agree. We like the banter, just like my Fluther jellies.

I never feel I have to lie or make excuses with them. I don’t have to dress up for them. I don’t have to be happy or sad for them. I feel free to be me.

I have never had many friends either but those I have had and do have are good ones that make my life better.

Since my family is all spread out and I’m single, my friends mean the world to me. I vary between feeling introverted and extroverted, but like @JLeslie,‘s they stimulate and support me. I have a wide circle of friends that is ever-increasing and it adds so much to my life.

Looks like a german “Billy no mates” up there.
Maybe that should read “Wilhelm nein freunde”

I’m not one to crave company, and I find that the effort required to maintain friendships over time can feel more like a chore than a pleasure. But I realize that to give in to my reclusive tendencies would be really bad news. Insularity is comfortable to me in a dangerous way, and everything I’ve come to understand about living fully points to the importance of intimacy with others. I’m not good at it, which is why it feels like work, but I know that it’s something I can get better at, and that life will be richer for it.

The problem is that there are as many definitions for the word “friend” as there are candidates for the title. I mean there’s the gang at the poker game, and then there’s facebook. I know for a fact that my life has most certainly been enriched and made merry by my friends. Whenever the subject comes up, however, I always bring up the little skit made famous by the legendary “Pigmeat” Markham, who after a good day of winning at the race track, encounters a “friend” on the street who has heard of Pig’s good fortune. The “friend” immediately requests a loan from Pig, who replies “I just can’t do it.” “But pig”, pleads the chastened supplicant “ain’t I your friend?” It’s the cue for Pig’s immortal punchline “All my friends are in my wallet!”

“But now I have some friends and instead of being the amazing bliss I always imagined it was, I find that they stress me out more than they make me happy.”

Try spacing out your time with them more. You can still be a loner, but when you start to feel a little too lonely or get bored being alone, then go out with them, recharge your social battery, then go back to being a loner.

In everything, moderation. That includes time with people (friends or otherwise).

I have very close friends that I would take a bullet for that get on my nerves. Some alone time is good for everyone. I’d suggest not setting your mind toward either option. Just be yourself and the rest will fall into place.

Your sister is not alone. She still remains in contact with family. Family can be your friends. Most times they are our closest friends.
I’m a bit like you. Only I learned at an early age that a large group of friends mean having to compromise who you are. So I really don’t have friends except for my husband. Right now we only have one couple we consider friends because they are easy going and don’t believe they have to dictate your life to remain friends. I find that most people seem to think that they should be able to expect you to change but they think they are without flaws. I think most people are hypocrites. Which I can live with. What ever floats your boat. But it’s obnoxious when they have one set of rules for them and another for you. It’s too much work to trifle through the minutiae of turd they call friendship.

Better with friends, and it even has an effect on your health.

Life is better with good friends. It can certainly be worse with bad friends.

bad friends should be“former” friends.

The friends I made have slipped and strayed.
And who’s the one that cares
A trifling lot and best forgot -
And that’s my tale, and theirs.
Then if my friendships break and bend
There’s little need to cry
The while I know that every foe
Is faithful till I die.

- Dorothy Parker

Right now sometimes i just wanna stay alone and only mind my own business, while sometimes I wanna stay with people who I’m comfortable with. It’s all weird.

Hey guys, so yeah, about this whole friend thing. My friends have really been stressing me out because there’s a bunch of drama, and sometimes I feel like I’m only there to drive them off campus for lunch because neither of them have cars and they absolutely refuse to stay in school because one of the girls there they’re fighting with. Now that girl is pissed at me because I take these two girls off for lunch.

And prom is coming up and they’re talking about how they’re going to get so drunk and it makes me worry. I just hope that the one who is driving doesn’t drink. But they also smoke cigarettes and other stuff like that, which really makes me worry since we’re all 16 and they’re starting those bad habits early. They always take about how they do that stuff and I feel so awkward because I don’t and probably never will do any of those things. Also two of them are atheists and I’m not, and they’re so pretentious about it and basically act like anyone who is a theist is an idiot.

And then one of my friends constantly bashes on a show that is very important to me because it has helped me get through some really tough times. She always makes fun of it but then expects me to listen to her go on and on about the stuff she loves. It feels very one-sided.

And now one of my really close friendships is falling apart because turns out he really likes me but I already have a boyfriend. He knows that, but he’s always telling me how much he loves me and how I’m a one-in-a-lifetime girl and if there’s anything he can do to change my mind. Which is really stressing me out because he is one of my closest friends and I don’t want to lose that friendship, but I love my boyfriend so much and I’m not just gonna give him up because someone else is practically begging me to break up with him.

Honestly, not speaking of family, but my relationship with my boyfriend is the only one that doesn’t feel extremely strained. Like I said, we’re all 16 so I don’t know if it’s just because we’re teenagers and we’ll grow out of it? And I don’t know if it’s just me that’s causing all my relationships to fall apart. Am I too picky? I find that I’m so much happier alone than I am with any of my friends. Next year I just want to spend the school year alone. In college I don’t want to stay in a dorm for these very reasons. Do you think things will get better once I’m out of college?

@Misspegasister28 Things will get better once you’re in college and do stay in a dorm. Pick a college that’s a good match for what you are like and you will find better friends there than in high school. It sounds like you’re outgrowing a lot of friends all at once which is hard but not uncommon. Maybe there’s one or two that you can salvage and enjoy next year but do plan on looking for a few good friends in college. When you find the right friends, it can add immeasurably to life.

Are you in college now? I’m confused. If you aren’t then just know college is usually much more fabulous than high school. Stay in a dorm at least the first year. I loved living in the dorms, I wish I still lived in one.

@JLeslie Sorry I didn’t clarify, I’m in high school. Next year I will be a senior.

@janbb Okay, thank you :) I’ll think about staying in a dorm. It sounds kind of stressful.

Another vote for staying in the dorms! You’d be missing out on a large part of your college experience otherwise!

Now that I know this is a question about teenage friends in high school, my answer is you can’t base anything on k-12 compared to adulthood. People become much better people usually as they mature. Adults are more selfless than young people, more aware of others, more aware of consequences, more appreciative of people’s life experiences and differences.

Is your college far from home? Please stay in the dorms and get the full college experience. For most people it is one of the best times in their lives, and it is because of the friendships, freedom, and still having very little responsibilities for the chores of daily life like cooking and cleaning. I was in a dorm with the bathrooms down the hall, and a lot of people think that sounds awful, but we had daily janitorial service, so the bathrooms were always very clean. We didn’t have to lift a finger. Most people I know share a bathroom with three other people. Many people prefer that. My cafeteria happen to be very good.

My nephew chose to live in an apartment with friends and one of the roommates was awful and he was stuck. He had signed a lease. If he had stated in a dorms he probably could have been moved to another dorm room eventually if he has a bad roommate.

@JLeslie Yeah, that’s what my family has been saying. I just don’t feel like I connect with any of the kids my age because they’re all interested in things I’m not.

My college is only about a half hour, my sister doesn’t stay in a dorm and lives at home. She commutes every day and she seems happy.

Oh, you can change your dorm once you get it? So if I’m stuck with a bad room mate I can change? That’s nice to know!

If you can afford to stay in a dorm, it’s worth trying. That’s half the fun of college!

You can’t go by your sister, because she doesn’t have the experience of living in the dorms. As I get older I realize more and more how difficult it is to guess what something will be like. It’s true about college, parenthood, illness, marriage, the list goes on and on. Seize the opportunity to try living in the dorms. You can always change your mind later and live back at home again, but give it a chance for a semester or two.

Maybe it’s the type of friends you have. I think everyone should have friends because without them we are more prone to being lonely and making mistakes without the helpful advice of someone else.