Why can't I express myself?

If you have trouble composing yourself in person you might try distilling your thoughts in a note. That way you can sort out what you want to say without a live audience. Preparation can take alot of the anxiety out of that sort of thing. If you don’t trust yourself to express yourself in person but want to change that you should let her know in a less direct medium, like a letter or email. Chances are she’ll be understanding of your difficulty and having it out in the open could help both of you dispell it.

Great idea I will try this, thank you for the advise, so appreciated!
Love <3 @fundevogel

No problem, hope it helps.

I was going to say maybe it’s because you’re young. When I was young, I had trouble in the way you are describing. As I got older and had more experiences of all kinds, plus through my work, I gained confidence with discussing difficult things with people.

Still, in my personal life, it can be difficult with certain people to discuss things that might cause conflict or animosity. I have asked questions here recently about a good friend who is going through a hard time and is angry and seeming to look for an argument, and how to handle that.

There is often a fine line between when to discuss things and when to leave them alone. No matter what you do, distancing yourself from this person is always an option. You have to do what you have to do for yourself, and if this person causes you constant stress, maybe being with them is not worth the effort and anxiety that it causes you.

@jca yes maybe! Im 22.
In your second paragh, before with all that happened, I used to think maybe I’m just so angry at everything because I work my ass off for everything and just to live and she dont do shit. The door is always open for her she just doesnt know how to stay in the room. And we come from the same place I thought it was so unfair. And now Working and working on myself im trying to change my perspective and see beyond the fact that 80% of the population in 2015 are shallow. Im trying to stay in my lane and focus on the good. But we I see that she does what she want for her and dont care about other people ( well only if she think or notice a reaction) she will try to talk it out. And thats what pisses me off. Why do you just act right. People do their shit and only say ‘my bad’ when you’re mad and Im sick of theses fake sorry.

And after a fews days I’m asking myself if I should tell her that I was mad for this or just move on, is it worth it or no?..

@Inconito101: First, stop comparing yourself to this person. She is who she is and you are who you are and it doesn’t have to be “she is this, I am this, she is that, I am that.”

As far as discussing what was upsetting to you, maybe take a step back and think about all of the issues. If you are going to have a discussion, don’t make it about one incident. Make it about the whole relationship – all the issues. In general, what is upsetting to you about her or about the relationship? Discuss that, not necessarily one incident, which she might say (as her defense) was so petty and she can’t believe you are making a big deal about that one tiny thing. It’s not really just about that thing, it’s about more than that, so discuss it as more than that.

@jca yes Im trying everyday to stop! Its better than before. Thank you for taking the time to answer i will keep your advise its very good! Wondering why eye contact puts me under pressure _ ! Have a good night!