Would you like to teach me something that could save my life?

Remember – it’s pants then shoes.

Wear cotton clothing that fits. Just in case you need to run or fight also you will be comfortable in any weather.

Red touch yellow, kills a fellow. Red touch black, friend of Jack. (Coral snake vs. non-venomous mimics such as the king snake or milk snake.)

@janbb and @talljasperman Thank you!

@syz Context, please!

Do not set a waffle iron on the side of your tub thinking you can multi-task breakfast and bathing.

When using electric hedge trimmers make sure the extension cord is not tangled in the bush you are cutting.

When a dog growls, a horse pins its ears or a rattlesnake rattles, pay attention, your likely to get bitten or kicked.

Never, ever, challenge a gander, you will lose.

Cherry red mucous membranes and fingernail beds can be an indicator of carbon monoxide poisoning.

Avoid political or religious questions.

Thanks, @syz, and all!

Don’t wear cotton clothing when it is cold (<40 degrees F), it retains moisture and can cool you to the point of hypothermia just by absorbing your sweat.

“Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom’s. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own.” – Nelson Algren

Never fight a land war in Asia. (And we see how well that was followed!)

If you find yourself in the big blue wobbly thing, thrash your arms & legs around real fast.

Edit: you’re…pffft…haha

Don’t eat the yellow snow.

If you ever fly Air China do not eat the yellow sausages.

I don’t know if you drive, but in case you do or ever will:
If you apply the brakes and they fail, gradually apply the parking brake instead.

I don’t know if you’ve ever gone mountaineering in the snow, but always approach a cornice on your stomach, using an ice axe or your outstretched hand to check for support.

if you get caught in a rip tide in the ocean, swim parallel to the shore not directly into it until you can get past the rip tide.

Trust your instincts.

Make sure you put down the iron before answering the phone.

Never fire a bear banger at a bear. Fire it upward, so the bear will run away from you, not toward you (which it will if the banger goes off behind the bear when you miss).

Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.

^^I was trying to remember that line too but couldn’t.

If you think something’s seriously wrong with you, consult a doctor, not Fluther.

Right tightly lefty loosey

Always know where the exits are.

When you’re in a sketchy neighborhood, never hang out or spend too much time in front of a house…..that’s how people get shot.

Taking selfies and photos of food for Facebook can be addictive, and can lead to mental problems.

-All grass is edible.
-In the event of a heart attack, in addition to calling 911, chew and swallow a full dose aspirin tablet.
-old cellphones can still call 911
-If your being pulled over by police, put your hazard lights on, drive to a well lit place (populated is a plus) park, turn the interior lights on, crack the window, and put your hands on the steering wheel until the officer asks for papers.

Be careful how you store batteries. You could cause a fire

If you encounter a bear in the wild, make yourself apear big, put your arms in the air and yell at it. Don’t look at it in the eyes, but slowly back away.

Only run if it is charging you. Drop all of your belongings before running, it may stall the bear. Play dead if you are being attacked.

Shuffle your feet randomly to avoid sand worms. They are attracted to the rhythm of natural steps.

@Silence04 Ditto for mountain lions minus the running part. Never run from a big cat that can leap 18 feet in one bound. haha

When puttingon/removing horse blankets from horses in breezy weather with a lot of static electricity action beware of the sudden zap and following buck fest. I am getting the evil eye this morning and may end up crushed in a stall today. haha

Don’t stick your wet fingers into an empty light socket.

@Uasal Between this answer and your other answer to the walking barefoot question, I’m totally picturing you doing a random barefoot shuffle on a farm.

Hey, can never be too careful when Shai Hulud is around.

Thanks, everyone! I love this thread! :]

It is very helpful to remember that pot holders are our friends. The pot is always hotter than you think it is and being in a burn unit sucks. lol