Why do we have to act like we're okay or perfect?

I’m not sure if we were clear in your other questions or not. You are not on a quest to discover the nature of others’ expectations of you. You are tasked with discovering who you are. Not the you in relation to others – the you and your relationship to yourself.

Once you have done the required work of learning about yourself, there may be legitimate work to be done in analysis of the environment you find yourself (others). But for now… there are no expectations. Learn what/who is there when you refer to “I” or “me”.

If we heard every honest thought that came to our minds there would be very few people who would get along. My honesty has kept me from making really close friends over the years and I am female. People only want to hear things that are uplifting and positive. Very few people ever want the real honest truth.
I also think it is rare that people try to be perfect. They just try to be superior to the people they know.
See why I don’t make friends. LOL

It would help if you gave a specific example. There are times when complete honesty is not called for.

If I ask someone how they are doing, I mean that as a rhetorical question. The expected answer is “fine”. Unless I am speaking to a relative or close friend, I would be most surprised to hear a laundry list of problems.

If you are on a date and you want desperately for the other person to like you, it is not a good idea to say so. It makes people uncomfortable. They think that if you are giving yourself away so cheaply then you must not be worth very much. You are setting yourself up for being taken advantage of. Is it right? Is it fair? Who knows, that is just the way things are.

If someone does something to offend you, they do not want to hear a graphic description of how you felt. It is sufficient to say that you were hurt by what the person did.

I’m sorry to say this, but your characterization of people is so cliched, so generalized that it sounds like a FaceBook meme.

To address why people follow a level of social convention and don’t blurt out every thought at any time:
1. Unless someone specifically asks, they are not interested in your stream of consciousness.
2. Being polite and considerate, which may seem like vapid dissembling to you, is part of the basic social contract we employ to keep the community together. We, as humans, created communities in order to survive. Manners make community living possible.

Introspection can be a good thing. As @hominid says, learning about yourself should be a priority at this point in your life, instead of being upset with how the general populous behaves.

Perhaps people around you “seek being uptight and shy away from being vulnerable and honest” because they sense the judgement in you and don’t want to expose themselves to that. You may be presenting as too intense for comfort.

You may not actually be thinking more deeply and honestly than those around you, they may just not be sharing. Take comfort that there are more people like you than you can see, all of us wrestle with the great questions, all of us feel isolated and different at times. You will find your niche. :-)

@dopeguru
Because we are all hard wired to protect ourselves. Displays of weakness mean you’re prey much like a limping gazelle to a lion. Humans can be despicable and downright horrid at times and our brains know that.. it is subtly programmed into us biologically and via our current social construct.

People put themselves in boxes because boxes have walls and a flap at the top if things get really sketchy.

It’s worse for men, which is why we kill ourselves more than women.

I don’t act like I am OK or perfect. I am weird, and I’m OK with that. My oldest daughter feels the same way. Still working on the younger one.

@Blackberry Males are just better at getting the job done. There are actually higher rates of female attempted suicide.

Just because someone doesn’t feel like sharing their troubles with you, doesn’t mean that they don’t have any.

I could care less about acting A-ok or perfect. I’m neither. I think it is partially the maturity level and insecurities of the people around you. The rest is your mind.

Perfect in the Platonic sense is not attainable.

In the Aristotelian sense, perfect simply means the best it can be in the context of the moment.

What better goal could a human being aspire to than that?

In normal circumstances, anything short of that goal is, in my opinion, being a wienie.

Screw honest emotions! I want results! HA!
The following are what I think about while working on a goal:
If you can fake it well enough then you’ve got it made.
What you think about comes about.
As you think so shall you be.

1. One does not “have to” act OK and perfect.
2. Emotions have a way at getting people down.
3. Some peole are struggling everyday and don’t need to be reminded of the fragility of humankind.
4. People might feel that they have to stop what they are doing to placate or comfort another .
5. There is an appropriate time and place to confront issues that require our compassionate responses.
6, Suggest a time to get together in a calm area to console.
7. Realize that it is a normal occurrance and not to feel shame or embarrrassment.
8. Try to be a more understanding individual.