Dog experts help! We have really spoiled our little dog rotten. Is her behavior reversible?

Yep, she can learn new stuff, but first YOU have to be able to tolerate her “upset”. She’ll calm down fast enough when she learns the new way life’s going to be for her. Best bet is to call a dog trainer (people trainer). You could start by watching dog training videos.

It is reversible. You simply have to stick to your guns and training and make sure that everyone in the family does the same.
Go to youtube and type in How to train your dog. You will get a list of free training tricks. I’ve actually did some with my dog and it worked. I also got her from a shelter.
Your dog may resist a few time and do crap like pee in the house or whine, or get really pushy at first. Mine was hard headed for about 3 weeks before she started to get the idea that she wasn’t going to get her way. You need show that humans are her alpha. Don’t think of it as being mean. It actually gives her a better sense of security and will prevent her from being aggressive down the road, because she feels insecure. She needs to know that her humans will take care of everything.

She is now in control! So now you must be hard as steel in changing her bad habits. It may hurt your feelings to do so, but it won’t hurt the dog, really. Be firm. Be decisive! But most important, be unyielding!!! Don’t let her get her way even once! It’ll be hard but you can do it!

@kritiper exactly she is in control. The moment we try to take control she hops up on a chair or the sofa and barks at us! I hope we manage to put her back in place!

It’s reversible, but please don’t try to get there with force. It sounds like your dog has not learned how much fun doing what you say can be. There is no need to get mean, forceful, or even tough. If you teach her a couple of “tricks” which she can perform on cue to get a lovely treat, she will be easier to manage. A dog who happily listens to “come”, “stay”, “leave it” and “give” is pretty easy to get along with.

You don’t need to pretend to be an “alpha” – that is an old-fashioned way of looking at the complex relationship between dogs and their humans. Instead, aim for a more parental relationship: Because you are the distributor of food, play and walks, your dog is already dependent on you. It’s your responsibility to not give in to rude demands – if your daugter screamed for an ice cream cone, you’d be careful not to reinforce that behaviour.

Please don’t listen to anything Cesar Millan says. Have a look at any book by Patricia McConnell or Suzanne Clothier. Mc Connell also has a website which is free and very helpful.

I totally agree with @snowberry. With patience and consistency, you can get new dog behavior. But you will need to be kind and firm. I think your best bet is to learn from a dog trainer (who is, in fact, a people trainer).

@longgone What? Cesar not reliable!?

I have had some excellent successes when I’ve taken “used” dogs to basic obedience/manners classes. It really helps them (and you) learn to deal with distractions and training.
Like anything else, Cesar Milan’s methods are not all bad. He’s currently out of favor with modern trends, but not all of his advice or his methodology is that awful.
The main thing to remember is that anything cruel or mean or harsh or inconsistent won’t work in the long run. As cliched as it sounds, firm and fair and consistent are the ways to go.
You will likely never know the whole story behind a shelter dog, so be especially observant of even the smallest of the dog’s behaviors when you implement the new training, as certain things may be triggers that promote a fright reaction, like biting or urinating.
A trainer for all of you is an excellent idea, as @marinelife suggests.

Good luck with this, it can be a lot frustrating effort to retrain, but it’s worth it.

Thanks all for eye opening answers. You CAN teach an “old“dog new tricks.

Reliably abusive, maybe. There is a good article on his methods here.

In Germany, there is a movement dedicated to banning Cesar Millan’s shows – his methods are deemed as cruel by many. He tried to go on a tour in Germany, recently, and was made to take the test all owners of large dogs have to take around here. The test is ridiculously easy, but he still failed it.

Change your responses to her bad behaviour.
Either move the dog to a quiet place by itself when it does bad behaviour . It will son learn that it gets rewards by good behaviour.
I liked some of Ceasaer Milans gentle approaches but others I did not like.
He did use firmness but not abusive tactics, which worked, which was better than what some pet owners subjected thier dogs too.

I would recommend finding some positive training classes to take your dog to so you can both learn about clicker training. I find dogs that learn to work for reward rather than getting it for free all the time are generally the happiest dogs and it can help with your bond. There is no need for force when teaching basic obedience, it is simply a case of finding the reward that your dog is most likely to work for and making sure you mark (with a click or a “good”) and reward any desirable behaviour and ignore (where possible) undesirable behaviour. Training classes are often more useful than DIY training via books or YouTube as there is someone on hand that can answer questions and help if you are struggling with exercises (timing is the most important thing with positive dog training and I often find in the classes I teach that people need help with this initially), you will also meet other people and their dogs who will make you realise you are not alone in your quest for a stable, grounded and happy dog.