Are 3 nights a fortnight too much for a 3 year old with non custodial parent?

Is there a custody agreement that specifies visitation or is it casual? I ask because if there’s an agreement, I would follow what’s been agreed upon.

I don’t think it’s necessarily too much; I doubt there is an objective, arbitrary amount of time that is ideal in each case. I also think it is unlikely that your three old will note the difference between two and three nights if she feels secure and happy with her Dad. You say you don’t trust her Dad to let you know how it went but I would imagine you will be able to tell by how she is when she comes back. If your Ex is reasonable, can you suggest a trial period of two visits say and a renegotiation after that when you see how she does? Or would that just open up a can of worms? My kids were adults when we got divorced so I don’t have any direct experience of this. You might want to look at your own motivation and see whether you are coming at this from her needs or yours.

If things are going well for the child, a child of under five, I would keep to the current plan. What is to be gained by changing it? Is the child asking for more time with her father? Is she distraught having to leave him?
Also, consistency is very good for young children, and the fact that two nights will be the schedule in the fall is another reason to keep it as it is now.
If her relationship with her father is a good one, as it seems it is now, when she is older there will be plenty of time for more time with him. The goal is not time spent, as long as she does have time with him, it is the development of a secure and happy child. It seems from your description (aside from the “tricky” acclimating times) that the schedule you have now is working toward this goal.

Sounds ok to me, but im no expert. School changes her routine anyway, so why worry about that? My neice and nephew used to visit their dad for 5 weeks in the summer and 10 days over Chrismtas. I’m not saying its ideal, but if your child is happy and adjusts to the change easily I dont see any real negative.

In the states it is not unusual for parents to have 3 day 4 day custody agreements even during the school year. That’s a little strange to me, but people make it work if the parents live close to each other.

The child must not feel like they have no home and only ‘visit’ each. One of the places MUST be ‘home’ and the other a place they visit. The child deserves a home, not to be treated like a bouncing ball. Keep that in mind for when school starts, but keeping a good relationship with Dad is important. If he can do 3 nights for the time being, it is a strong start.

This is a new agreement as old one has finished. Things are going well but as crazies says and I think this is my biggest concern, I want my daughter to feel safe and as though she has a home not two different homes.
As an adult we don’t want that so I’d never want that for my child. It is only till she’s 5 though he’s now disputing that and wants it to continue through school. I definitely disagree to that!

@cazzie sorry!!’

@tan253 I would guess when the child is in both places frequently both places are home. It’s when they only visit the other parent infrequently they feel one is home and one isn’t.

Some kids in the every two weeks set up might feel one is home and one is being at dad’s, if dad is the less frequented place.

The kids I know who grew up in the 50/50 type custody don’t seem to differentiate one house as home and one not. I’d have to ask them if they felt one was more home than the other? I don’t know for sure how they felt.