Which situation would you prefer with a friend (see below)?
A) that he be terse with you, not speaking much, but maybe letting you know he’s having a bad day (being honest about stuff)
OR
B) that he be really nice to you, but seem distracted and not talk much (when usually he’s an avid talker), to the point that you can sense something’s wrong, but you don’t know what
Incidentally, you find out (but not until after you’ve both gone your separate ways), that he was having a really bad day, and was apparently rather grouchy with pretty much everyone else he came across that day.
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16 Answers
I would prefer A. I would want to know why he is grumpy and go from there.
Definitely A all the way!
@SQUEEKY2 and @anniereborn…that was my first thought, but then I was somewhat touched that while he was grouchy with a lot of others, he made an effort to be nice to me. I think when he gets really stressed, it is hard for him to hold it in, and he sometimes lashes out (verbally) at others, and then feels really horrible about it after the fact. For that reason, it was nice that he made an extra effort to not do so with me, although I wish he had talked to me about what was wrong…
I would prefer B. He’s nice but a bit quiet and then explains he had a tough day.
@jca…except he never actually explained it. I found out from a third party the next day. I would have preferred that it worked out the way you say, but, like I said above, I think he gets to a place where he’s too stressed/upset to talk…and I respect that.
When something bothers me, I usually don’t tell anybody for a few days. Then I may tell one person. I’m often not even into discussing it until it works itself out.
I think he does that sometimes, @jca.
C. None of the above, just stay away until your bad mood passes. haha
@Coloma…funny! But we’re at work, so that’s kind of hard, if not impossible some days. ..
A. Honesty is always the best policy.
@kritiper…I don’t think he was being dishonest…just trying to curb his foul mood around me.
@yankeetooter Haha..oh, I see. Yes, it would be nice if everyone could just be honest and say ” I’m not in a great frame of mind today so if I seem off it’s not personal.”
I have done this with friends, family, told them I was going on a “check out” and it wasn’t personal.
For a close friend, I prefer A.
For a normal friend, I prefer B.
Because when we are close we are more likely to show sympathy to each other and accept every comfort or advice, however absurb/useless it may be. A normal friend can risk being misunderstood for being a drama queen and may expect a more practical advice.
I learned it the hard way that I can only be honest about my bad feeling around close friends. But then again that’s where I live.
I prefer A. Even if it isn’t a close friend, when people are honest it shows they care about your opinion and are willing to open up and potentially become close. A all the way.
If I listen to everyone on here, it seems my friend isn’t as close as I thought…
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