What do I do now that he said he feels he can do better than me?

Move on.

He has been polite about it, but essentially he told you to take a hike. Don’t stick around pining for him to come back – he made his choice.

Stop seeing him – totally. End it. Avoid him. Don’t sleep with him. It is prolonging the issue.

Like I said, he made his choice. Let him live with it. He’s not coming back. Move forward, not backward.

You can do better than someone that would say such a thing to you.

You said you don’t want lasting relationships and that you mainly enjoy the beginning flirtation. Sounds like you each are on the same page. Why be hurt?

What @janbb said, plus, it’s not that weird that he feels there are better girls out there. First of all, there’s only one person that’s the “best”, so there is only one person that would not hold true for. Furthermore, when you look around on the street, it’s only reasonable that many other girls look better, since you only get a superficial view, and you fill in what you can’t see with positive characteristics.

It just sounds like this guy has to come to terms with that some day – which will come as he grows up. Until then, as long as you’re both on the same page regarding how you treat each other, why not enjoy it?

What exactly do you want from this relationship? There are mixed messages in the details.

It’s impolite of him to say that, but in a way he’s right. In the beginning stages of a relationship there is always the potential that there is someone better out there for both of you. You only become the perfect people for each other after you have developed as a couple, and grown closer over time.

@Vincentt Yes, in many ways he seems immature. I don’t want to feel glorified by a man who is seeking delusionally something perfect to complete their ideal lives with. That shows insecurity and immaturity to me.

@Pied_Pfeffer I don’t want to be serious with him, but i also don’t think the way he does – meaning I’m not searching for a perfect man and i don’t go thirsty and melancholic when i see a hot guy on the street. So I would only keep seeing him if he wasn’t that way either, because to me thats him settling for less than he wishes and that hurts my integrity.

@BlackSwanEffect I agree with that but don’t know if he does

Guys, what if he is using the NEGGING tactics on me lol

What is negging?

“Low-grade insults meant to undermine the self-confidence of a woman so she might be more vulnerable to your advances.” @chyna

@dopeguru Well since you are already sleeping with him, that seems unlikely.

=

@janbb Hmm true. But I told him I didn’t want to be serious (when we started to be boyfriend and girlfriend) and said we should just have sex, no strings attached.

It sounds as if this relationship isn’t working for either of you. Since you asked what should you do, my advice is to end it.

@Pied_Pfeffer True. I will.

I used to date a girl that was terribly insecure and used to try to convince herself she was popular and a hottie.

She once tried to goad me by saying “You know, I’ve dated some attractive guys.”

I said nothing but thought to myself “well, DUH!”

@SecondHandStoke Haha thats awful. This guy tells people who insult him that they should “google” him. Lol.

Are you kidding? How could you even conceive of staying around a guy who said something so very hurtful to you? He’s looking around and he sees gorgeous girls? Tell him not to let the door hit him on the way out to find one of those.

” He said when he is out and looks around on the streets he sees gorgeous girls, and because he is a perfectionist feels there are better than me.” HELLO??? Kick him in the crotch and never speak to him again as long as you live. What a major, rude jerk.

I would dump him. But to be totally honest, assuming that is what you want in an answer in General, neither of you seem to have both feet on the ground.

Is this the same guy you’ve evidently had so many issues with the past few months? At any rate, it sounds from your opening post that you already know what you want to do so why are you asking us?

@Aster “HELLO??? Kick him in the crotch”

I don’t think that physical assault is really warranted in this case.

@aster, I don’t think that a swift kick is really called for at all. I think that @dopeguru sounds about as screwed up as the guy is. So if anything, mutual ass-kicking is appropriate.

Well, the way you wrote that he expressed it seems like a pretty crude thing to say to someone you’re involved with. However, I don’t see that it’s all that much different in essence from your own idea of what you want in a relationship. You do express your version politely instead of rudely/insensitively. At least he’s probably being honest about it. It seems to me that temporary relationships are much easier to take when one gets to be the one who decides when it ends and under what terms. Though if they decide to leave you, you can comfort yourself in blaming the other person. As always, it depends on how the other person takes what you say, and how it gibes or clashes with what they want to give and receive.

This has me wonder how you present to the person you’re with your honest version of how the other person is temporary to you.

He’s an ass.

You possibly attract people, or seek people, who look at the superficial, because you like the initial lust and mystery ride of a relationship. He sounds like he is always on the hunt. You are too in a way. You get bored or nervous as relationships get comfortable and then on to the next. Sounds like you two are similar, and trying to protect yourselves from hurt or commitment, so you get what you give.

He crossed a line though. He was incredibly rude and hurtful.

From what I see I cannot see where the problem lays, you are enjoying what he does for you as him you, neither bother to want to get serious, so what he thinks is irrelevant. You are not planning to grow old with him, and he is not planning to grow old with you. Just rent each other’s body until something else better do come along, and enjoy it without no emotional thought clouding the road.

Re-read the second answer to your Other Question. There’s not much more to say than that.

Oh wait, re-read my answer too: I think it’s time that you made an appointment with a therapist. You seem to have a lot of problems that revolve around men, relationships and your self esteem, or lack thereof. Because you lack self esteem and don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like, you choose to pursue men that have no interest in you, or men that are abusive. You need to find out why. You need to figure out a way to change your old patterns and find new, healthy ways to relate to people in general, not just men. If you don’t do something soon, you will end up living a very painful life. Best of luck to you, dear.

Run. That’s what you should do. Away from him.

Did you think that having casual sex with him was going to leave him with a good impression of you?

^ judgey much? Casual sex is not what the q is about. It’s about managing expectations; don’t get how you go from that to there.

^^ Maybe it was because of this phrase, ” I also recently told him after we started to get serious that I didn’t want to get serious, but that we can just sleep together.” It kind of is about casual sex, and its consequences.

Casual sex is fine if both people are mature enough to handle it.
Based on her other questions, she seems somewhat mentally unstable (I’m just being honest), casual sex clearly hasn’t been working out for her in the past, why she keeps trying it is beyond me.

I don’t often agree with @cheebdragon, but I think she’s makes a fair point in this case.

^^ Based on her other questions, she seems somewhat mentally unstable (I’m just being honest), casual sex clearly hasn’t been working out for her in the past, why she keeps trying it is beyond me.
Casual sex when you strip off all of the chaffing paint and bull is about self, and self-satisfaction. It is like dope, booze, and gambling, so long as it feels good and enjoyable to the person that is doing it, they don’t care how many times they end up on their knees with their face in the toilet, how many cars they wrecked or had towed, or how many times the lights and cable got cut off because they spent all of the money trying to be wealthy, they will do it again and again because it felt good at the time regardless of the terrible outcomes.

He sounds like a narcissist. Move on.