How many Flutherite women over 40 color/dye their hair to some color other than the natural grey that would be otherwise appearing?

Grey is a trend right now. I think a bad trend. I say dye your hair at least through the age of 70.

Most women in America dye their hair to hide the grey, there are statistics if you google.

I worry more about my hair loss, which is pretty upsetting. I’m glad I don’t have a ton of grey, but it slowly is getting more and more grey. I still look brunette unless you are right up next to me in my personal space.

Many women dye their hair before they ever get grey. Some of them don’t even realize how grey they are because they have been dying so long.

I’ve been dying my hair for quite a while; it’s a color quite close to what my normal color was. As @JLeslie says, I’m not sure how much gray there is now although I know it’s there. At some point I’ll stop but for now, I think it looks better.

I don’t dye my hair. Why not? Let me preface the response with this: I do not judge anyone who chooses to do so. If it makes a person feel better about themselves, why not do it?

The main reason is that grey hair just doesn’t bother me. Nor does it bother the SO. The second reason is that salon services fall under luxury expenses vs. a necessity except for haircuts. I would rather put the money towards other treats. The third reason is that hair-dying (and other cosmetic services) creates more waste. Giving them up is one way to reduce my carbon footprint.

No. No grays yet.

I love my salt and pepper hair and have never colored it. My hairdresser calls it “virgin hair.” I am over forty.

I go to a colorist at a salon and I am one that has no clue how much, if any, gray there is. I get it done every five weeks, at about 50 bucks a pop plus a 10 dollar tip.

To answer the question “why” it’s because I think I look better now with my dyed color than what is my natural color.

I have highlights put through my hair. It’s pretty much my natural colour with a bit of a lift. The process helps to hide any greys.

I do it because I want to look my best. At some point in the future, my hair might be totally grey and that might suit me or it might not. While it’s just a few greys, I’d rather camouflage them.

I’d also say women are judged more harshly as they age. There is truth to the idea that women can become more invisible.

I have never seen my gray. Apparently it started coming in about the same time I started losing my eyesight. You can’t see the top of your head with bifocals.
I’ve tried to go back to my natural mousy brunette, tried auburn, but the truth is, I am always happier blonde.

Not me. I got good genes in this regard. I am 63 and have very little gray hair. My mother was not completely gray until her late 80s.

My two younger sisters are both gray and in their 50s; one colors her hair. the other one doesn’t.

I started going grey around age 19. I’ve never dyed my hair and never will.

Why not?

Partly because I think it looks amazing. It comes through my original colour in natural streaks of silver.

Partly because fuck that noise. Why should I pay a regular fee to hide my own hair colour, worrying in between treatments that someone might catch a glimpse of undyed roots?

Partly because the same colour in men is traditionally said to look distinguished. The double standard is appalling, and I won’t support it.

Early grey runs in the family. I started colouring my hair quite a while ago. The grey doesn’t match my outlook on life. I like a bit more colour, so I’ve been going with a bit of a red undertone. I colour and cut my own hair, so it doesn’t fall into the ‘luxury’ category of my budget.

@Pachy My grandmother had salt and pepper hair and she always looked great. I’ll never have salt and pepper, because I’m naturally medium brown. Also, my grey seems to be coming in a little heavier at the temples. I still have only minor amounts of grey. My parents didn’t look grey until their 60’s, even though they had some strands way before that.

My point is, people grey differently. Some times it’s very even, and you still see the old color very obviously, and the greeting process seems to agree with the stages of life the person feels mentally. Sometimes it’s all out of whack.

I have some friends who dye their hair brown, and so it’s very obvious when you see solid white roots. When I imagine what those same women would look like with solid white hair, it really would make them look totally different (probably very old). With their hair dyed brown, they look more the age they are (50’s and 60’s) and probably feel. I think more people probably dye their hair then we realize.

One of my friends recently suffered some trauma and has now gone off the deep end, mentally. She is growing out her gray hair, which has previously been dyed brown. Half of her head is gray (the top) and the bottom is brown. It looks horrible and makes her look crazy.

I don’t dye my hair, I have some grey, wish it was all grey (unlikely to happen, my mother is 90 and isn’t all grey). I’m A) lazy and B) don’t care.

Greying process, not greeting process.

My sister, in her late sixties, has a wild and wonderful mop of curly Russian hair, undyed. Her original color is brown and the white hairs give it a wonderful streaky look.

I don’t know how much grey is there. I have naturally light hair, I colour it myself two shades lighter, I think it looks better. @JLeslie try biotin and silica. ( it’s gross but it works, I think).

@gailcalled I think that’s right. Brown looks streaky. It can look ok. It just depends. I have a girlfriend who is getting streaky and I want her to dye it. She is in her 40’s like me, and her hair is still mostly brunette.

Out of curiosity, @JLeslie , why do you want your friend to dye her hair? This is not a criticism, I am honestly curious. One of my friends really wants me to dye the grey out of my hair, but never quite tells me why and I’d love to know.
Is it something to do with how she wants to look younger but won’t admit it out loud? You probably know her in a more objective way than she knows herself, you may know that she would feel better without grey. I have no idea, I am simply curious as I run across this in my own life and no one will tell why they feel that I should dye my hair.

@canidmajor It mostly has to do with me seeing a minor tweak for her that would make a vast difference in how she looks. I realize it partly is how we are conditioned in society, but I think there is some sort of innate thing to it also. They have done studies with very young children and how they react to photos of “pretty” people vs. not as pretty and even at a very young age we react.

Dying her hair would take 20 minutes every two months. That’s what I do. She is still brunette mostly, so some growth or fading will hardly matter. I still use temporary dye most of the time. Her hair is way more fantastic than mine. She has more of it and it holds it’s shape throughout the day. Her greys age her and dull her entire face and first impression.

I love her. I wish I could see her every day. She could be bald, grey, 100 pounds overweight, I don’t care. I love being with her, talking with her, she is one of my favorite people. I just think for herself she would benefit from dying her hair. The change would be quite significant I think. I’ve felt this way several years. Now, she is looking for a new job and I think it matters even more.

Can I answer for my wife?
She’s an inactive Jelly.

My wife is 44 with no grey hair yet. She dyes her hair about every 6-months just to add a bit of red to her brunette color.

She has to go to a salon that only uses Aveda products due to a medical condition, but it’s crazy expensive. Which is probably why she goes so infrequently.

@JLeslie : Thanks for your answer.

I have been dying my hair for near 30 years. My natural color is light brown. I usually dye it a red of some sort, becuz I love that color on me. Grey has been sprouting up for the past few years. It’s getting more difficult to cover unless I have it pro done.

Think about professional women that we all know, for example Hilary Clinton. I am sure she dyes her hair. Think how she would look with all gray hair – probably not as good as she looks now (whatever your opinion of her politics are, I am referring to her look as a mature professional woman).

@jca, Hillary joked about it.

Coincidentally, I am process of letting my hair grow out right now. I am a natural blonde and at 55 have very little grey. I have been using a semi-permanent 24 shampoo color called ” Sunflower” which is a medium golden blonde shade for about 15 years now. Just brightens up and accents my natural color.

I have a little frosting at my temples and a few strands through my bangs, but I have let it all grow out about 5 inches now and have just a few strands of grey on top of my head. I am curious to see what I look like in an au natural state again and can always resume coloring if I so choose. I wear my hair a little below shoulder length and sometimes wear bangs or sweep them to the side and still wear my signature pigtails on occasion.
I have had several people tell me lately that they can hardly even tell I have quit coloring. We shall see.

@jca I am also a professional woman. My work is entirely about what goes on inside my head, not about what colour decorates it. I know that. My colleagues know that. If it were otherwise, that would impact my ability to get a job and do the job.

@dappled_leaves Well yeas and no. Some dye jobs look phoney but I have always been told how natural my hair looks because I keep it within about a half shade of it’s naturally natural color. haha
Here ( in my avatar ) is a pic of me a few years ago at 50–51, I think my hair looks great. lol

@dappled_leaves: That’s great. Unfortunately a lot of women are judged on their appearances (as may be the same situation for people of all genders). Not that appearance is the only thing people are judged on, but I know in many jobs, having a certain appearance is helpful. If that were not the case, someone like my example of Hilary Clinton would let herself go gray or whatever color is her real color.

So help me to understand this. Women are judged by whether or not they have grey hair? While there may be some truth in that, the people doing the judging need to grow up. Those that are experiencing grey hair, even at a young age, are only perpetuating this stereotype by covering it up with dye.

We really don’t need to fight about this. Some women prefer the way they look with their hair colored; some women prefer to go gray. Surely feminism is about the ability to make individual choices? This is not a big deal.

@janbb Exactly!

and btw, my post above was not about fishing for compliments, just an illustration that some hair color does look quite “natural” indeed.

I, personally, like dark haired women with gray, my neighbor is 75 and she has Cherokee blood in her and looks fabulous with her long black and gray hair she wears in one long braid or free.
She rides and breeds show horses and she is a great example of an “older” women who defies stereotypes. Not only is she strikingly handsome she is very active and athletic for an “older” women. Myself and two other good friends are fair skinned blondes and redheads and a little zing of color tends to perk up that washed out look. lol

@jca My point is that I doubt very much that Hillary Clinton dyes her hair because she’s afraid people will judge her on her looks. I think she does it because, in her own estimation, it makes her look and feel good. Which is the only reason any of us should make such choices.

If I suspected that Hillary Clinton dyed her hair for professional reasons, I would have no respect for her as a professional.

@janbb If the latest post was directed at me, the intent is not to fight about this. I’m not bothered by women who choose to dye their hair because it makes them feel better. This was stated in my first post.

What does bother me is when females feel the need to dye their hair in order to cover grey because they are being judged by others. It’s one thing to ask a friend’s opinion about a hair color or style. It’s another when unsolicited advice, or worse, discrimination occurs solely based upon one’s hair color.

The reason why I wear certain clothes, makeup, hair color, or whatever, is partly because I want to look good and feel confident and proud, and it’s also because people do judge, and I’m not single handedly going to change that. Often people who do the judging will not ever say a word about it to those they judge, so nobody is aware of opinions being slung about. I think it’s no coincidence that when I lost over 100 lbs, I was given (offered) a great job that I did not apply for, was not seeking, did not even know existed. Would I have this job if I were still rotund and had trouble walking up a flight of stairs? I am guessing not. Does the job want someone like that as their representative? It seems not, as the job had been vacant for almost a year before it was offered to me (a few months out of weight loss surgery when I got the offer).

I also agree with @janbb, that people choose to dye or not dye for whatever reasons are suitable to them, and it’s nothing that’s “right or wrong” either way, whatever the reasons are for their choices.

I don’t fault someone who is a professional in the public eye for coloring their hair or doing whatever to maintain a nice appearance. I am much more against cosmetic surgeries for reasons of vanity and fear of aging but understand that for some, being in a cut throat business like a news anchor, politician, movie star that they may feel a lot of pressure to keep up appearances.

@dappled_leaves That is naive. I’m sure even men in politics dye their hair. Look how people talk about how the Presidents go grey while in office, or discuss the age and health of Presidential candidates. Hillary very well might keep her hair dyed whether in political office or not, I don’t know, but to hold it against a politician for doing it for political reasons makes no sense. We live in a visual time. People have always been judged partly on looks and now everyone has access to seeing what candidates look like. Dyed hair gives a more youthful, healthy look, generally speaking. I’d be pretty sure Reagan was dying his hair. Same with almost all of them I would assume. Off the top if my head I think the only one who didn’t was McCain in recent years. I don’t know if Obama did while running? Probably.

This question was posted in General, and it won’t be surprising if some of our responses aren’t moderated. This is a very interesting topic, so please give me a moment to post a question in Social.

Is this the first question that mentioned Fluther that was not relegated to the Meta section?

I’m a 44 year old female and I haven’t colored my hair since I was in high school. My profile pic was taken today. That’s my true color.

I have boring colorless hair, in the sense that there was never a name for this color, sort of a flabby unbrown. So when I was about 25 I dyed it a very brilliant unnatural red and I enjoyed it but that turned into a bitter kind of orange because the dye was cheap and the sun got to it. Then it was too late to quit so it’s hardly ever been left to its own devices. Now I have a lot of white, especially in front. I home-bleach streaks of the rest of it with crappy grocery-store dyes and it looks wonderful: pale and uneven. I’ve never looked beautiful before but now I do. So they say. On a slightly different note, a good hairdresser explained to me years ago that as white people age, their skin loses pigment along with their hair, so if they try to pep up their looks with bright hair, their skin looks like death by comparison. You know how this looks, right? Kind of desperate and scarey.

p.s. I am a professional painter so messing with my hair comes naturally.

I dye my hair because I like to play with hair color! I think it’s fun. Over the last ten years or so, I have had it done by a professional because I can afford to. It looks much better than when I did it myself. I only do it a couple of times a year, so my gray does get to come back in over time. It doesn’t bother me, and often looks like a sparkly highlight in my hair. :)