Is this a life you could ever imagine?

I grew up with three older siblings; 14, 13 and 6 years older than me. They influenced my life almost as much as the parents did. They still do, even the eldest who died 10 years ago. So no, I can’t imagine what life would have been like without them.

In our family, there were 4 boys and 4 girls. Boy, girl, boy (me). girl, boy, girl, boy, girl. I can imagine that Mom and Dad would have had it so much easier if they had only 2 children.

I am the youngest of seven. There are 4 girls and 3 boys. Honestly I am only really close to two of my sisters and moderately close to another and one brother. I am glad I got to grow up with all of them. (although a couple were on their own when I was born). I am glad I grew up in a big family.
I have a sister that i am very close to that lives far away, and one that I am not very close to that lives close. I wish they could trade locations.

No, having siblings shaped my life. I love them all very much. It felt really painful to lose one at an early age (she was only 49). There is a whole repertoire of jokes that no one else gets but my siblings.

I am the third of four kids. The nearest older one is five years older; the younger is 8 years younger. I am not that close to any of my siblings. We get together at Christmas and Thanksgiving most but not all years. I have not seen my older brother in over two years.

So their presence in my life has been positive but not life shaping.

I’m very glad I had a sibling growing up. We were close for over 35 years and then her anger towards my father eventually harmed our relationship. It isn’t all her fault, it’s a whole combination things she did and I did. Doesn’t matter for this Q.

In life your longest relationships are with your siblings (barring anything unusual like an early death (god forbid) or a parent who has babies for greater than a 20 year span. It’s longer than the relationship with your parents, spouse, or children. Your siblings are the people in the world who know what it was like to grow up in your house, and I think it is almost impossible for anyone to know what it is really like in other people’s homes. Plus, the sibs know it from a child’s perspective.

I can imagine having been an only child, but I’m glad I wasn’t. I do think having a sib helps people think of others, not that only children don’t have that capability.

I have one older brother. I can’t imagine living without him. We fought a lot when we were kids, I think mostly because he’s five years older and he always looked at me as just a little kid until he was about 18, and then he realized that I could be a good companion, especially when it came to sports. We are closer in ways that even my best friend and I could never be, simply because we have the lifelong shared past. Luckily, we have a lot of things in common such as lack of religious belief, interest in the same types of art and music and movies, we take great joy in the small things that other people might see as trivial or boring, we are easy to laugh, we are easy to feel the pain of others and try to help when and where we can, we both love and like our parents, we both love animals, we like to eat.

Now that we are older and sometimes have a hard time spitting out the right word, you know it’s right on the tip of my tongue, we both know exactly what the other one is talking about, even if we can’t come up with the right word for it until days later. You know, that blonde actor that was in, you know, that movie that was about a guy who was a policeman and it had the other guy that you like, you know, the dark haired one with the curly hair that’s sort of handsome, but not overly handsome, you know, he used to be married to that actress, you know, the one that was in that really funny movie, you know… Yes! I do know!

I do not have any siblings. With two working parents (who also had an active social life) and very few friends, I was alone a lot. Despite this, I’ve always liked being an only child.

I probably grew up much faster than some. I certainly experienced things I maybe shouldn’t have, but it all worked out okay. As a result, I became an autodidact and very self-reliant. To this day, I prefer to be alone than with anyone else, my wife and daughter being the only exceptions.

I have thought, more recently, that it would have been nice to have an older sister. I’m sure I’m idealizing that role in my head, with sage advice and all manner of coolness — but it’s a nice thought.

I was the middle brother of 3, I had a sister for all of 6 weeks, she died from heart failure when I was 4.
Other than that tragedy, I wouldn’t have had it any other way, yeah we fought at times & yes, being in the middle can feel fairly neutral, but boy did we have fun.

I have one brother, 6 years older than me, that I run into a couple of times a year with little emotion attached.
I have one sister, 3 years older than me, that I’ve had no contact with in, what, 15–20 years?

I broke all contact with my parents when I was about 22 (now 54) and my father has since died. I think the abuse just fractured the family.

I only have one sibling, an older sister. Her and I have never been particularly close (despite growing up in the same small house) and at this point our relationship is virtually non-existant (and I’m fine with that). So I think I could imagine growing up as an only child.

@JLeslie : ‘I do think having a sib helps people think of others’

I’m an only child, and the only child in my extended family on my dad’s side. As a young man in dating relationships, I was accused of being selfish and self-centered. I didn’t understand that, because my parents didn’t have extra time or money to spoil me, nor did they spare the rod (figuratively). It took me a long time to comprehend what those girlfriends were saying.

I often put myself first because I didn’t know any other way. Sure, I was taught to share toys with the neighborhood kids, and we all attended each other’s birthday parties, but at home I always came first because there was no one else to consider. Helping one parent buy a present for the other parent, or doing extra chores to help out a parent, weren’t enough to teach me to think of others first.

Although, as an adult I tried to modify my behavior, it wasn’t until my son was born that I truly understood ‘thinking of others’. A good parent has no other choice.

My wife is the oldest of four. Sometimes, I’m amazed at the thoughtfulness and consideration she displays towards them, and the pleasure she gets from doing so. I’m still learning and trying to improve.

@bossob I find it very interesting that you didn’t get defensive with my comment, but rather identified with it. I hate to use the word selfish, and like I said it isn’t that all only children don’t think of others. I think it’s usually very subtle even when it is the case. I think we mostly grow up to be a combination of our parents more than anything.

My husband is the youngest of three. The other two born within a year of each other, and then 6 years later he was born. He has some only traits in my opinion; many of which I think are positive ones, some not so positive. However, I also see the whole family kind of is like that so it’s hard to tell if it’s his birth order and years between sibs, or more of a cultural or family thing.

I should have been a lab baby, incubated in a tank.