How can I comfort my friend about her love life?

Just listen to her carefully. Be there and encourage her to socialize in the right places. Urge her to have a fuller more active life. One thing leads to another. Keep away from the known topics, you both already know the familiar stuff. No need to keep recycling it all. Believe me, the more you harp on about it, the more bitter and pessimistic things get. LISTEN to her concerns but keep your conversations fresh and light.

Is there any chance you two can participate in an activity that does not involve finding a good partner? Volunteering, adult education, movies, skiing, community outreach, .etc. You can help her develop an interest or skill.
If the conversation drifts over to her “men problem”, listen but don’t engage. Quietly push it back to the activity at hand.

Just tell her to relax and quit trying to force this stuff. You don’t find love, it finds you.

Don’t wait to live your life while looking for love. Live it to the fullest now for yourself. Fill it with friends and activities. Then when you least expect it, love will find you.

If she thinks she’ll never find love, she won’t be open to the possibility. Change your brain… change your life.

Tell her the truth: That she may never find love, that there was never a guarantee of finding love, and that she must convince herself that it may never happen and to get on with life being single.

I can tell you what is not helpful; it is not helpful to be told it will happen when the time is right or when it’s meant to be. It is not helpful to be told that when you stop looking, love will find you. But it is helpful to be told not to focus over much on it, to do the things that you like to do and enjoy activities with friends. Nobody is attracted to someone who seems desperate.

And, as an aside, meetup.com is a great place to find activities and interests that you can share with others. I made a whole group of single friends (mainly women) while going to a singles walking group when I was newly single. They have enriched my life immeasurably.

Well, most likely she isn’t going to want to embrace this truth but, love is love, regardless of how it manifests and even if she never finds the fairytale romance, which doesn’t exist anyway, she can find love in other areas of her life. Friendships, pets, volunteering, helping others. Our programming is so hardcore that life is not worth living without a romantic partner. Pfft!

Everyone is whole and complete within themselves and while you may desire a loving romantic relationship it is not necessary for happiness. If you think it is then you are setting yourself up for long term suffering and unhappiness. She needs to be fully engaged in the business of living her own life and if a relationship shows up great, if not, we all must find our own reasons for living.

^^ That’s where I’m at now too but it is a harder concept to embrace at 25.

@janbb Agreed, the meet, mate, procreate hard wiring along with culture is harder on the young’uns.

Thank you all for the good suggestions. It’s sometimes hard for me to know what to say to her because I’m fortunate enough to finally be in a stable, happy relationship with a great partner, but I had to suffer through other bad relationships (as sometimes documented on this site) over the years before I found “the one”.

She hasn’t had a serious relationship since undergrad and has had her share of heartbreak and rejection since then. I’m a big believer in Amy Poehler’s “Lid for Every Pot” monolog and have tried to share similar wisdom with her but it doesn’t seem to work.

Your friend need to heal, have confidence, and let go of the past and move on. Only when a person heals from the inside out then they can find their own true love.The reason why you have to heal is because love start with loving yourself first.You can help her by being a good friend and being there for her in good times and the bad, she needs to find a positive way to heal it is very important for life general. After she heals then love will find her.