My mum ignores my mental health?
I’ve been struggling with negative, depression-like symptoms for almost a year now. I have previously turned to self harm and sometimes struggle with suicidal thoughts, though I do not self mutilate currently.
I plucked up the courage a few months ago to show my mum my self harm. I got worked up about it, and needed some comfort. Instead my mum thought I was ‘being a teenager’. She told me firmly never to do it again, though I had already stopped at that point. She didn’t check on me, and I had lapsed into it briefly after telling her, though I made myself stop.
I told her once more about how I felt bad about myself, and I was told to ‘put on a happy face.’ My mother took me out to the shops to ‘help me get fresh air’. I have experienced anxiety when going to crowded places (way too many people) and I ended up scratching skin of my hands, for which I was reprimanded.
My feelings have been getting worse, and my self esteem has plummeted to the floor. I know I need to make my mum understand but my anxiety has gone up and I find myself flat-out lying when asked about my day. I need to tell her before I do something stupid.
What should I do?
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4 Answers
Get another person to put this into your mum’s head! If not a family member then a trusted teacher, school counselor, family doctor or anyone who could possibly make her understand. It is likely that she is in denial. Take care and. SPEAK TO SOMEBODY!
Ask mum to do some research with you. Tell her you are having feelings which make you afraid, and tell her you would like her to help you find out more about anxiety and depression. This way the journey will feel like the two of you are discovering things together. What she learns along the way should help her understand that you need a doctors help and guidance.
Something like anxiety, or depression is difficult for people to take seriously right off, because it is not something they can see, like a burn, or cut. That is why so many resort to cutting. It is visible, and that is what people respond to quickest. What gets results is what people, especially teens, will tend to turn to.
Just because your mum seems dense about it right now doe not mean she doesn’t care. The teen years cause turmoil for nearly every living human. Puberty causes chemical changes which trigger some anxiety, paranoia, insecurity. Feeling sexual desire is not the only thing going on during puberty. It is not visible, so even the person going through it gets confused and sometimes afraid. You may be experiencing normal teen changes, or it could be more. Explore the information together with your mum. You could both use the comfort of learning more, and together just feels emotionally safer.
Good luck.
There should be counseling services available at your school. You may need to talk to someone objective who is not related to you about your problems. Please let me know if this is something that you would consider. If you can’t figure out how to locate such services at your school, ask a trusted teacher or other mentor for how to find them.
Go to this site for information. http://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/teenagers-guide-to-depression.htm They have a list of numbers you can call and I am sure they can find you a way to get help, or maybe even talk to your mom. If you are not from the states there are numbers lower down for international and Canada.
For the states the number is 1–800-273-Talk. These are trained individuals that either help you. Please do call. Depression is like an ugly enemy living in your head and you need to make the next move to save yourself. It is doable. Lots of people get over depression but only with help. Don’t give up. I wish you the best of luck and pray for your recovered health.
As for your mom. It seems that people are sometimes under the misconception that if the teen talks about it that they are fine. It means that they won’t do anything. This is actually untrue. Plenty of depressed and suicidal people will talk about it before actually doing it. She may actually also be afraid to admit it. Parents take on a lot of guilt sometimes and let this guilt override common sense. She needs to know this is not about her but about saving you. Call the hotline. They may be better able in making her understand that you really need help.
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