Friends question: what would you do?

If you are asking him the same question directly. It would be a little inappropriate. Maybe you could just hang out on FB and chat for a while and out of the blues ask him about his plans on the day you wish to visit him.
If he says he is free,make him comfortable enough to answer.
If you say everything innocently i am sure he would understand and not deny you approaching his place.
Maybe he will be too glad.
He tells you to stop by. So do it. Dont worry so much about the consequences..
I think you should visit him on weekends. Probably that’s the best time when you three (you.him.and his fiancee) can talk..
Go on and Chill everything will be fine☺!

I think that’s a good idea. Instead of boxing him in to a day this week, maybe ask, “Is there a time this week that’s good for you?” And don’t take back the responsibility for the invitation; that way you don’t have to wonder if the invitation was sincere.

I understand the awkwardness as I have friends that say this to me a lot, but without an invite for specific day, I don’t want to just invite myself over.

I would try something like, via p.m. or text, “I wanted to take you up on your invite to stop by. Maybe sometime in July – let’s make a date and I’ll pick up some snacks. What day is good for your and Mary?”

I’d rather walk through hot coals than visit a man living with his fiancee especially with such a vague invite. I think he’s a nice guy and just says it to be cordial. But, then, I’m older. lol

Sure. Ask. He has repeatedly extended an invitation. Just because you are less casual than they are should not be a problem. Of course, you run the risk that he will reply “Come any time.”

@dappled_leaves @Sara25 Yeah – I would not say it that way; it is too controlling. I would say something like, “I’d like to stop by sometime. Is there a time that would work for you or should I message you?” Or I might just see if he raises it again but he has mentioned it a few times.

ALWAYS announce a visit and ask if they have time on that particular date.
Otherwise you will likely disrupt any plans they may have made for the day and it will feel like a raid.

@ragingloli Well, yeah – I’m not even considering just stopping by.

Bands are there to entertain people. And the more the merrier! It’s not a formal invite, so give a quick call and say you’re in the neighborhood, thought I’d stop by. OK? Keep it simple!

What’s the problem Birdy? Call the guy, and tell him you’re ready to grant him the privilege of reviewing his wretched “shack on the beach”. Tell him to break out the grub and the good booze in order that you feel cozy while you and the fiance discuss his many flaws.

I don’t see any problem with you asking. I totally agree with you and @ragingloli about not just ‘dropping by’. He’s asked you to come by a few times so he’d obviously like you to. Tell him you have some free time and ask if this week is good for him. If I want to catch up with someone again, I now suggest we put something in our calendars because I know, even if you both really, really want to do it, if you don’t put plans in place it so often doesn’t happen.

I hope you have fun. I’ll steal @jca‘s job and ask you to give us an update.

Haha…I didn’t know this question causes so much angst. I’m like your guy friend.

An email a few days before or even a text the day of would be fine with me—so long as you’re also fine with the chance that I might be busy.

I like improvising and it drives my husband crazy. He has stuff in his calendar months ahead. But then again, he’s not one to offer up such a vague invitation.

I’m guessing your friend is more like me. But playing it safe couldn’t hurt either.

Have fun and tell us how it goes!

Why not just drop by with something for him and the fiancee like a watermelon and a bottle of wine. Just a casual drop by moment bearing gifts of good cheer and just say ” I was in the area and thought I’d drop over and bring you this….whatever, and see your place.”
I don’t know but I think over thinking it is over thinking it, take his invite at face value and stop over. That is if you actually know where he lives. haha

@fluthernutter i don’t really ask questions here any more about things I’m angsting about; this is more of just wanting some opinions.

@janbb Not you in particular. Just didn’t realize that people think about this so much. Makes me wonder if I should be more specific next time I extend an invitation? It sounds like most people in this thread would prefer that.

Mostly just laughing at myself because I think a lot of my habits drive people a little crazy. What I think is easy-going makes my husband (and most of his family) more stressed out. I should try to meet them in the middle more!

@fluthernutter Well, I think our culture and modern busyness makes dropping in one someone something that is really hard to do. I love the idea theoretically but it just doesn’t make sense much any more.

@janbb Yeah. I think too many years in school has made me stuck in that open door dormitory mentality. I’ve yet to start functioning like an adult on many levels.

@fluthernutter I’ll stop by next month when I’m in Berkeley then!

Haven’t read the above. I would call a little in advance and say you are/will be in the neighborhood and wonder if it’s a good time to stop by.

@kevbo Good suggestion.

@janbb You should!

I think go ahead and ask. However you put it will be fine. Maybe tell them when you will be in the area, or like you said, just ask when this week might work for them.

Another option, you can say you want to take them up on their offer to drop by, what’s a good day? Or, you want to visit let’s set a date.